The Angry Therapist Podcast

What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isn’t, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isn’t perfection — it’s your willingness to lean in.

In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be the same ones that carry us forward.

We also get into men’s loneliness, why so many men wait until life or a relationship falls apart before asking for support, and how the need to be the hero can keep us isolated.

We also talk about becoming fathers later in life, how pregnancy can expose old wounds and patterns in a relationship, and why presence may matter more than getting everything right.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why the second half of life requires a different kind of ambition

When achievement and success stop feeling like enough

Meaning, impact, and the temptation to become cynical

Why so many men feel lonely even when they’re surrounded by people

The “hero” mindset and hyper-independence

Why men often wait for a crisis before asking for help

What to do when you want to work on your relationship and your partner doesn’t

Relationship as invitation instead of obligation

Resentment and the importance of speaking up before it’s too late

How pregnancy can expose deeper wounds in a relationship

Becoming a father later in life

Why being present matters more than being perfect

Thanks for listening. If something in this conversation makes you think of someone, send it their way.

Connect with Bryan Reeves:

Website: https://bryanreeves.com/

Book — Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her): https://bryanreeves.com/book

Love With Integrity Online Community: https://www.skool.com/lovewithintegrity

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📖 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

Ready for deeper work? Check out my Secure Self course:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

🌐 Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore?

For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale.

But lately, something has shifted.

In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense.

I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone.

Maybe the question isn’t, “Where is all of this going?”

Maybe it’s, “Where can I go while I’m still here?”

I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize.

In this episode, I talk about:

Giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be

Letting old goals and identities evolve without rejecting your past

Why constantly trying to “arrive” can make you miss your actual life

Ambition without letting ambition run your life

Following curiosity without needing everything to be productive

Why happiness becomes a moving target

Recognizing joy while it’s actually happening

Asking whether the plan you’re following still belongs to you

Why certainty may never come when deciding whether to leave a relationship

The questions that can reveal whether there’s still something worth repairing

Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.

Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ CONNECT WITH ME

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On PurposeToss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprinthttps://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substackhttps://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

🧠 Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self coursehttps://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en

🌐 Find out morehttps://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. There’s one question underneath many of them: are you working through what’s happening, or waiting for something to change?

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 My book, Break Up On Purpose:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📸 Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist

🌐 Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What matters more than love?

My answer is capacity.

I think we’ve wildly overestimated love’s ability to carry a relationship. You can love someone deeply and still lie to them, betray them, disappear when things get uncomfortable, refuse to look at yourself, or be unable to create a safe space for them. Love is a feeling. A relationship requires skills.

In this episode, I answer questions about what actually makes relationships work, how relationships change over time, and what it means to leave someone you still love. I also talk about social media, comparison, and how constantly looking at everyone else’s life can make us question our own.

I talk about:

● Why love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship

● Capacity, communication, accountability, and repair

● Why long-term relationships require us to grow and become someone we’ve never been before

● What happens when couples resist change and begin to drift apart

● How you can love someone and still know you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with them

● Why staying in a relationship out of fear can sometimes create more pain

● The difference between inspiration and inadequacy on social media

● How comparison can make you overlook the life you’re actually living

Thanks for listening. If any of these words help you or someone you know, pass them along.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here: https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you decide an idea is worth pursuing, even when you don't know where it's going to take you?

Kelsey Crane joins me to talk about The Vanishing, her debut novel and the first book in The Exiles trilogy. We get into her journey from storytelling and gardening to writing a novel, why she chose to self-publish, what it feels like to reinvent yourself in your 40s, and the fear that comes with putting your work into the world.

We also talk about nature, creativity, climate change, the power of storytelling, and the idea that we're not defined by one story or one moment in our lives. Kelsey shares why she believes creating something for future generations can be a powerful source of motivation.

In this episode:

• Reinventing yourself in your 40s• Writing your first novel• The reality of self-publishing• Fear and pushing through uncertainty• Nature as a source of creativity• Climate fiction and telling teenagers the truth• Why it's okay to be a beginner• Creating a legacy for future generations

Follow Kelsey and check out The Vanishing.

Guest links:

✨ The Vanishing novel: https://tr.ee/nhKDU8✨ Shopify: http://bit.ly/4hmSopJ✨ Goodreads: http://bit.ly/4fRbbs9✨ Website: https://www.theexilesseries.com✨ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artforartssake

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.HERE

My book publishing company, Soulprint:HERE

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:HERE

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available:HERE

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:HERE

📸 Follow me on Instagram:HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices