The Angry Therapist Podcast

We were handed a blueprint for what a “good life” is supposed to look like: fall in love, get married, buy the house, have kids, build a career, and stay together.

But what happens when you achieve the life you were supposed to want and realize it doesn’t actually feel like yours?

I talk about breaking away from inherited ideas of happiness, questioning the lives we’re maintaining simply because we’ve already spent years building them, and creating something more honest and customized.

I also answer questions about open relationships, getting over self-doubt after leaving a good person, and why a relationship can be meaningful without lasting forever.

I talk about:

• The blueprint we inherit for what a “good life” is supposed to look like• Getting everything you were supposed to want and still feeling unhappy• The difference between a good life and a life that actually feels like yours• Redefining marriage, family, success, wealth, and commitment• Breaking patterns and questioning what you’re maintaining simply because you’ve already built it• Whether open relationships can work and what needs to be addressed before opening one• Why changing relationship structures doesn’t automatically fix existing problems• Getting over self-doubt after breaking up with a good person• Why someone can be a good person and still not be your person anymore• Letting relationships be meaningful without needing them to last forever

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being in love and loving someone aren’t always the same thing.

Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person they’re becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for?

In this episode, I talk about why intensity alone isn’t enough to build a life with someone, why long-term relationships can go through seasons where the love feels different, and why falling out of love doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is over.

I also get into what happens after betrayal when you’re still watching an ex’s life and waiting for them to suffer, fail, or finally understand what they did to you. At some point, healing means taking your attention back and putting it somewhere they no longer get to participate in.

And I answer one of the questions I hear most: how do you know whether your marriage is going through a hard season or whether the relationship is actually ending?

In this episode, I talk about:

• The difference between being in love and loving someone• Why intensity and chemistry aren’t enough• Loving someone as they grow and change• Why we sometimes miss who we were in a relationship more than the person• Three questions to ask when looking back on a past relationship• Why falling in and out of love can be part of a long-term relationship• How to stop making an ex’s life evidence for your own• Why healing can require teaching your attention a new address• The difference between a hard season and a relationship that may be ending• Why movement, ownership, and changed behavior matter more than promises

Sometimes love isn’t about getting back to who you used to be together. Sometimes it’s about deciding whether you still want to know and choose the people you’re becoming.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isn’t, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isn’t perfection — it’s your willingness to lean in.

In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be the same ones that carry us forward.

We also get into men’s loneliness, why so many men wait until life or a relationship falls apart before asking for support, and how the need to be the hero can keep us isolated.

We also talk about becoming fathers later in life, how pregnancy can expose old wounds and patterns in a relationship, and why presence may matter more than getting everything right.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why the second half of life requires a different kind of ambition

When achievement and success stop feeling like enough

Meaning, impact, and the temptation to become cynical

Why so many men feel lonely even when they’re surrounded by people

The “hero” mindset and hyper-independence

Why men often wait for a crisis before asking for help

What to do when you want to work on your relationship and your partner doesn’t

Relationship as invitation instead of obligation

Resentment and the importance of speaking up before it’s too late

How pregnancy can expose deeper wounds in a relationship

Becoming a father later in life

Why being present matters more than being perfect

Thanks for listening. If something in this conversation makes you think of someone, send it their way.

Connect with Bryan Reeves:

Website: https://bryanreeves.com/

Book — Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her): https://bryanreeves.com/book

Love With Integrity Online Community: https://www.skool.com/lovewithintegrity

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📖 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

Ready for deeper work? Check out my Secure Self course:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/

🌐 Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore?

For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale.

But lately, something has shifted.

In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense.

I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone.

Maybe the question isn’t, “Where is all of this going?”

Maybe it’s, “Where can I go while I’m still here?”

I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize.

In this episode, I talk about:

Giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be

Letting old goals and identities evolve without rejecting your past

Why constantly trying to “arrive” can make you miss your actual life

Ambition without letting ambition run your life

Following curiosity without needing everything to be productive

Why happiness becomes a moving target

Recognizing joy while it’s actually happening

Asking whether the plan you’re following still belongs to you

Why certainty may never come when deciding whether to leave a relationship

The questions that can reveal whether there’s still something worth repairing

Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it.

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.

Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

🎙️ CONNECT WITH ME

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On PurposeToss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

📚 My book publishing company, Soulprinthttps://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substackhttps://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

🧠 Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self coursehttps://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📱 Follow me on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en

🌐 Find out morehttps://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. There’s one question underneath many of them: are you working through what’s happening, or waiting for something to change?

If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.

For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.

Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298

My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/

📘 My book, Break Up On Purpose:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898

📸 Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist

🌐 Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices