In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talking during sex—and why silence, shame, and faking orgasms are some of the biggest barriers to good sex. From dirty talk and giving direction to toys, lube, boundaries, aftercare, and post-sex debriefs, this episode is a masterclass in how communication transforms intimacy, pleasure, and connection.

In this episode, Alexa and Elizabeth discuss:
Why silence during sex creates insecurity and confusion
Dirty talk vs simply communicating during sex
Using your voice for pleasure, direction, and curiosity
Why most people struggle to talk during sex
Cultural shame, lack of sex education, and sexual confidence
Finding your sexual voice and understanding your desires
Why dirty talk looks different for everyone
Trauma, shame, BDSM experience, and comfort levels with dirty talk
Blending dirty talk with practical direction
Giving feedback without killing the mood
Starting with positive reinforcement before giving direction
How safety makes sexual communication easier
How faking orgasms reinforces bad sex habits
Why honesty leads to better long-term sex
The orgasm gap and why penetration alone isn’t enough
Why partners need to genuinely care about your pleasure
Oral sex as a baseline expectation, not a bonus
“Non-eaters” as a dealbreaker
Curiosity as the foundation of good sex
Sex worth having vs sex worth avoiding
Starter phrases for people new to dirty talk
Keeping dirty talk simple and natural
Compliments during sex and feeling desired
Post-sex communication and debriefing
Aftercare beyond cuddling
Talking about what worked and what didn’t
Porn, audio erotica, and learning language for desire
Erotic menus and yes/maybe/no frameworks
Borrowing phrases instead of reinventing dirty talk

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.

In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:
What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
The brain as the biggest sex organ
Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
Performative dominance vs authentic presence

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the internet, and why emotional availability makes men more desirable and better lovers. From shitting yourself on the subway to tips on how to be more vulnerable, this episode explores how being human, communicative, and emotionally present leads to better sex, safer intimacy, and more meaningful connections.

In this episode, Alexa and Emi discuss:
Masculinity, patriarchy, and how it harms men
Why toughness, aggression, and emotional suppression are not attractive
Healthy masculinity and being raised with emotional permission
Men crying, expressing emotions, and being fully human
How emotional openness improves dating and sex
Why men shouldn’t center other men’s approval
Seeking male validation vs caring what women actually want
Listening to women instead of guessing what they want
Being bisexual and how that shaped Emi’s perspective on intimacy
The hot take: men who refuse to eat pussy are kinda gay
Why vulnerability filters out the wrong people
Getting approached more after being emotionally open
Emotional growth through therapy
Holding male friends accountable for harmful jokes
Sex, intimacy, and performance anxiety
Feeling pressure to perform sexually
Liking women vs just wanting to fuck them

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey. https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping my guests cozy and mess-free <3

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional conditioning shape pleasure, desire, and orgasm. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode breaks down what hypnosis really is, how it differs from pop-culture myths, and how erotic hypnosis can help people get out of their heads, release sexual shame, and reconnect with their bodies.
In this episode, Alexa and Kate discuss:
The role of the subconscious mind in sex, pleasure, and behavior
Why so many people struggle to stay present during sex
Anxiety, body image, and self-conscious thoughts in the bedroom
How hypnosis helps people get out of their heads and into sensation
Why all hypnosis is ultimately self-hypnosis
Consent, collaboration, and personal agency in hypnosis
Common myths about hypnosis from movies and pop culture
Whether some people are “more hypnotizable” than others
Sexual blocks related to orgasms, erections, and arousal
Kate’s personal journey using hypnotherapy to overcome orgasm struggles
How language and self-talk program sexual responses
The power of repetition in shaping subconscious beliefs
Blindfolds, sensory deprivation, and imagination in erotic play
Practical self-hypnosis and mindset exercises for home
Auditing negative self-talk and replacing it intentionally
Rewriting old conditioning with new emotional experiences
Why the subconscious mind overrides logic every time
Surrounding yourself with sex-positive language and media
The best time of day for self-hypnosis
How long hypnosis takes to create change

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding what sex can be. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode explores how slowing down, breathing, presence, and creativity can lead to more satisfying, intimate, and embodied pleasure without sex needing to revolve around penetration.
We discuss:
What it means to decenter penetration and why penetration is overemphasized in mainstream culture

How expanding your definition of sex increases pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction

Why heterosexual couples tend to rush to intercourse and how this limits pleasure

Using the full body as an instrument of pleasure rather than focusing only on genitals

Slowing down, softening the body, and learning how to receive pleasure

Myths around sex, obligation, and the idea that penetration is required

Making penetration optional without sex feeling “incomplete”

Erogenous zones beyond genitals (neck, ears, inner thighs, behind the knees, clavicle, elbows, nipples)

Nipple play and nipple orgasms

Different types of orgasms and expanding orgasmic capacity

Breathwork, sound, humming, and tantra as tools for pleasure

Why holding your breath can limit orgasmic potential

Presence vs performance in sex

Oral sex as intimacy, honoring, and shared pleasure rather than a chore

Eye gazing, kissing, dirty talk, and touch as deeply intimate acts

Ego, vulnerability, and why sex often ends when penetration ends

Ending sex based on satisfaction, not orgasms or penetration

Communication strategies for talking about pleasure without hurting egos

Sexual menus, check-ins, and having conversations outside the bedroom

Scheduling intimacy, playfulness, and creative erotic invitations

What straight couples can learn from queer sex culture

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!