The Psychology of your 20s

• 336. Why do we crave external validation?

  In our twenties, the feedback sources that once defined our worth - grades, report cards, and parental praise - start to disappear. This leaves a void, which many of us instinctively turn to external sources like social media, career achievements, and the opinions of others, to fill. And while this external validation isn’t inherently bad, we need to be mindful of refilling our own sense of self before becoming reliant on others. In this episode, we discuss why a life built on others' approval is like living on quicksand and how to cultivate a sturdy, reliable sense of self that will withstand the inevitable ebb and flow of external opinions. We’ll explore: • The difference between external and internal validation• Why our brains are wired to seek social approval• The looking glass self and the inherent need to belong• How contingent self-esteem can quietly erode confidence• How to recognise when you’re outsourcing your self-worth• Balancing feedback without letting it define you If the number of likes on your Instagram post has ever dictated how you feel - this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 335. It's okay to change your mind

  We often think that once we've made a decision, or said we believe something, or stated something about ourselves, we must always stay the same and can never change our minds. That is entirely incorrect - being able to say "I was wrong" or "this isn't me anymore" show incredible psychological strength. Being able to quit and start again is often the start of a truly fulfilled life. In today's episode we discuss how being okay with changing your mind can: Help us make better decisions Overcome disappointing others Reduce our fear of judgement Lead to a more fulfilled life + so much more Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 334. How to fully trust yourself

  We live in a world full of opinions, advice, and expectations - and somewhere in the noise, our own inner voice can get drowned out. Learning to trust yourself sounds simple, but in practice it’s a hard skills to build. Doubt, fear of mistakes, and the pressure to “get it right” often pull us away from what we already know deep down. In this episode, we explore the psychology of self-trust: how it develops, why it falters, and what it really means to listen to yourself in a culture that constantly tells you to look outward for answers. We’ll explore:• Why self-trust is so crucial in this decade• Self-trust as the antidote to anxiety• How self-trust is shaped by early experiences and current circumstances• Small ways to practice trusting yourself again• Why trusting yourself is less about certainty and more about self-respect If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself into exhaustion, or felt like your inner compass has gone quiet, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 333. Why do we love to hate?

  Hate is one of those emotions we don’t like to admit we feel – it’s messy, intense, and often laced with guilt. But it’s also deeply human. It can flare up in obvious moments of conflict, or linger quietly as resentment, judgment, or mistrust. But it’s how we engage with it that makes the big difference. In this episode, we explore the reasons we love to hate - where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, and the ways it can both protect and harm us. We’ll look at how it spreads in a hyperconnected world, and ways we can respond to it if we feel it in ourselves or from others. We’ll explore:• The roots of hatred in group identity, safety and insecurity• Why hating can feel good • Personality traits of trolls• Why our biggest critics can be those closest to us• How hate affects our mind and body• How to stop being a hater, and how to respond to hate from others If you want to explore this difficult emotion without judgement, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 332. The triangular theory of love

  We all want to know the secret to true, lasting love so that we can perhaps have a shot at finding it. So in today's episode, we're breaking down perhaps the most famous theory on this very topic, Robert Sternbery's Triangular Theory of Love. In this episode, we talk about: The 3 core ingredients of love: intimacy, passion, commitment How different combinations form different kinds of relationships Why “consummate love” is so rare, and hard to maintain What the theory leaves out: culture, trust, respect, asexuality, polyamory A look at the newer “quadruple theory” of love Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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