The Psychology of Relationships

Relationships rarely end because of one major event. More often, they slowly break down through small moments where one partner feels dismissed, unseen, or emotionally unsupported. Matthew Fray, relationship coach and author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends, joins Julie & Yue to unpack the lessons behind his viral article An Open Letter to Shtty Husbands*. He shares how emotional neglect quietly erodes connection, why these patterns often go unnoticed until it’s too late, and what it actually takes to become a more present, emotionally aware partner.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How emotional neglect quietly damages relationships
Why small dismissive moments matter more than people realize
The hidden warning signs relationships are struggling
How these patterns can begin long before marriage
Ways to become a more emotionally present partner

To learn more about Matthew Fray, follow him @frayrelationships and visit matthewfray.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

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Chemistry isn’t always something you either have or don’t – it’s often shaped by behavior, body language, and the subtle signals people send without realizing it. Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral researcher, bestselling author of Cues and Captivate, and founder of Science of People, joins Julie & Yue to break down how to read attraction signals and build deeper connections. She explains how first impressions, micro-signals, and social cues influence attraction and trust within seconds, and why understanding these behaviors can completely change the way we connect with others.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How first impressions shape attraction and connection
The subtle cues people send without realizing it
Why some interactions feel natural while others feel forced
How body language impacts chemistry and trust
Ways to create stronger connection without trying so hard

To learn more about Vanessa Van Edwards, follow her @vvanedwards and visit scienceofpeople.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Most of us grow up believing love should feel effortless if we meet the “right” person. But many of the relationship stories we absorb through romcoms and pop culture don’t actually reflect how healthy relationships work. Relationship scientists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel join Julie & Yue to unpack what movies get right—and wrong—about attraction, compatibility, and long-term connection. Together, they explore the myths shaping modern relationships and what science says actually creates lasting love.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What romcoms get wrong about compatibility and attraction
Why “the spark” isn’t always a reliable predictor of long-term success
How modern expectations may be hurting relationships
What relationship science says actually builds lasting love
Why healthy relationships are often less effortless than we expect

To learn more about Paul Eastwick, follow him @paulweastwick and visit https://pauleastwick.com/. To learn more about Eli Finkel, follow him @elfinkel and visit elifinkel.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Communication is often called the foundation of healthy relationships—but most people were never actually taught how to communicate effectively when emotions run high. Sandy Weiner, relationship coach, author, and host of The Last First Date Radio podcast, joins Julie & Yue to explore the four communication archetypes and what they reveal about the way we handle conflict, emotional triggers, and connection. She explains why communication patterns are often tied to nervous system responses, attachment styles, and past relationship experiences—and how healthier communication can be learned through awareness and practice.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The four communication archetypes and how to identify yours
Why conflict can feel so emotionally triggering
How attachment patterns shape communication under stress
Ways to express needs without aggression or withdrawal
How to become a more effective and emotionally aware communicator

To learn more about Sandy Weiner, follow her @lastfirstdate1 and visit lastfirstdate.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie & Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why different versions of yourself show up in relationships
How trauma and past experiences shape connection
The role mindfulness plays in dating and communication
How protective behaviors can create disconnection
Ways to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships

To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy