The Best of You

Have you ever noticed how quickly old patterns resurface when you're around family?

Maybe you find yourself walking on eggshells. Struggling to voice your preferences. Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Or slipping back into roles you thought you'd left behind years ago.

In this episode, Dr. Alison revisits one of the most requested conversations from the podcast, exploring how the dynamics we experienced growing up continue to shape our relationships today.

Through the lens of attachment theory, boundaries, and family systems, Alison unpacks five common patterns that can influence the way we show up with the people we love—and how awareness is the first step toward healing.

You'll learn:

*Why family relationships can pull us back into old roles

*What enmeshment is—and how it differs from healthy closeness

*Five family patterns that often follow us into adulthood

*How childhood experiences shape the way we handle conflict, boundaries, and relationships

*Practical steps to help you begin breaking free from unhealthy dynamics

Healing begins by telling the truth with wisdom, compassion, and truth—so you can love others without losing yourself.

More Resources:

You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide!

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others.

Want to hear more like this? Start here:

Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself

Episode 178 How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

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*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
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Today's Scripture: Genesis 21:14–19

What if the help you need is closer than you can see right now? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Hagar in the wilderness—a woman who had been used, cast out, and left to survive what she did not choose. When the water runs out, Hagar reaches the end of herself. But God hears, draws near, and opens her eyes to a well that was already there.

We explore:

*Why despair narrows our vision

Need help finding the well in front of you?Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and use the search bar to type in whatever you’re carrying today—anxiety, grief, shame, boundaries, resentment, burnout, or anything else that feels heavy. You’ll find past episodes and conversations with experts that may offer the next small mercy, resource, or perspective you need.
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Today's Scripture: Matthew 14:22–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**Have you ever taken a risk, stepped out in faith, and then wondered if you made a mistake? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Peter walking on water toward Jesus. Peter begins with courage, but when the wind picks up, fear takes over and he starts to sink. This passage reminds us that fear does not mean faith has disappeared—it may mean our attention has become divided.

We explore:*Why courage can feel frightening after we step out*How fear narrows our attention and distorts what we see*Why Peter’s sinking was not the end of the story*What it means that Jesus reaches out immediately

Go Deeper:

Learn more about steadying yourself through fear in my new book The Secure Soul. Start reading now when you preorder.

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on David’s honest prayer: “My spirit fails.” This is not a polished prayer or a failure of faith. It is a truthful prayer from a depleted soul. If you’re still functioning on the outside but feel dry, drained, or quietly unraveling on the inside, this passage gives you language for coming to God exactly as you are.

We explore:

*Why depletion is not laziness or spiritual failure

*How emotional exhaustion impacts your nervous system

*What actually helps restore us

*Next steps to take when you're feeling depleted

Go Deeper:

If today’s devotion helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who might need the same encouragement.

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 1:3–12

**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**

Why is it so hard to receive a love that's freely given—especially if you’ve learned that love has to be earned, approval is conditional, or goodness is for other people? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Paul’s astonishing words about blessing, belovedness, adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Before Paul gives the Ephesians instructions for how to live, he reminds them who they already are in Christ. We explore:

*Why responsibility can feel safer than receiving*What a shame schema is and how it filters out goodness*Why love, grace, and belonging can feel threatening*The difference between entitlement and true belonging*How to live from belovedness instead of working for it

Go Deeper:

If you struggle to sense God’s love, check out Dr. Alison’s new book The Secure Soul - start reading today when you preorder.

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices