2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

• This Episode Is Getting Us Fired w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

  Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice). The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness. It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 299 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:08 - Chrissy Court Date 00:06:15 - From Physical Therapy To Comedy 00:18:25 - Happy Ending 00:28:45 - Lady Tom & Bert 00:34:32 - Female Stavvy & Chrissy 00:43:55 - Handy Women & Unhandy Men 00:53:07 - Benjamin Franklin 00:58:32 - MSG 01:03:36 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• The Summer Bears Takeover! w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

  Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Tom and Bert are out for the summer, so Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are stepping in as your substitute Bears. In this unhinged takeover, they immediately derail the show with tales of cholesterol-fueled delusion, Nazi neighbors in Queens, circumcision conspiracies, radical acceptance, berberine powder, and why 4th of July is the real American holiday (sorry January 6). The boys debate who’s the Bert and who’s the Tom in their pairing, accidentally rank the world’s races, and somehow end up talking about diabetes, Greek shame, and Japanese war crimes—all before diving into engagement stories, dad stress, and the magic of getting fat on purpose. Also, Bert checks in from his deathbed to interrupt and tells them to talk about Indian people. This episode is chaos in shorts. True summer vibes. No lessons, no structure—just greasy hot dogs, high blood pressure, and fat guy fun. It's going to be a wild summer! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 298 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:00 - Who's The Tom & Who's The Bert? 00:08:23 - The Gay Family Man 00:13:56 - Bert's Request 00:21:43 - My War Criminal Neighbor 00:27:19 - Epstein Lists, Toothless Looks, & Fat Guy Speedballs 00:34:49 - We're Just Slowly Dying 00:45:19 - Fourth Of July 00:53:33 - Radical Acceptance 00:58:53 - Chrissy D's Favorite Holiday 01:05:11 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Catfights Make The WNBA Interesting | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

  SPONSORS: - Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Go to https://quince.com/bears for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on sports. They talk about Brett Favre's fall from grace, the greatness of the 2001 Baltimore Ravens, the unbeatable aura of Tony Siragusa, and the dynamic duo of Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Before that, Bert shares some stories about going over to T-Pains house. The bears also discuss how violence has made the WNBA more watchable, how good the ESPN "30 For 30" documentaries are, and the most unbelievable races people participate in. Plus: Bert tells a story about how he almost chainsawed a leg off on skates, the Red Bull Flutag, rat catchers, Bert's chicken murder mystery, and more! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 297 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:17 - T-Pain 00:10:08 - Brett Favre: Hero Or Villain? 00:19:15 - Tony Siragusa & The 2001 Baltimore Ravens 00:30:38 - Caitlin Clark & Sophie Cunningham 00:37:58 - Bert Almost Lost A Leg Skating 00:42:28 - Red Bull Flutag 00:49:23 - The Most Insane Race 00:57:11 - Rat Collectors 01:05:54 - Chicken Murder Mystery 01:11:02 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• We're Being Replaced! (For The Summer) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

  SPONSORS: - Order on DoorDash and save big during Summer of DashPass. Sign up today! DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS - Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer reunite in sunny California for a jam-packed episode full of FOMO, fatherhood, and flaming hot air balloon disasters. The bears talk about Tom’s California vacation and getting into surfing with his boys. They dig into wild parenting comparisons, Luis J. Gomez’s insane training routines, and Bert feeling FOMO for Andrew Schulz’s perfect summer life on Instagram. Tom then drops major news about shooting a new Netflix movie called El Tigre, which leads to Bert sharing his own plans for filming the series Free Bert in Atlanta. With both Bears tied up all summer, they announce special "Summer Bears" episodes and name the two hosts Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias. Things get political (kind of) as Bert and Tom debate who should talk about world issues—spoiler alert: it’s not them. Bert then rants about the sheer terror of hot air balloons and Tom tells another legendary Top Dog tale about how he diverted a plane so he could take a piss. Buckle up—it’s a bumpy (and hilarious) ride. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 296 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - Father FOMO 00:05:07 - The Summer Bears 00:16:45 - FaceTiming Chrissy D 00:20:16 - The Middle Class Of Comedy 00:33:09 - Bert Explains Global Politics 00:39:48 - Hot Air Balloons Are Sketch 00:49:29 - Crazy Plane Stories 01:00:17 - Helicopters 01:06:45 - Uber Driver Smackdown Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Fun With Foreign Slurs | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

  SPONSORS: - Use code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears in your browser for 50% your first year. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior. They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:58 - DMV Hotties & Beefing With Kids 00:10:07 - Women & Children First 00:17:53 - Shame, Mel Gibson, & Lance Armstrong 00:24:57 - Famous People Committing Crimes 00:35:32 - Would You Rather? 00:39:13 - War Documentaries 00:44:48 - Slurs In Other Languages 00:53:44 - Names & The Studio Beef 00:59:11 - Japan & Uranium 01:05:08 - Lady Bert Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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