Rich Queer Aunties

In this episode of Rich Queer Aunties, Christabel and Kachi go down the rabbit hole: how far back does Western influence actually go in Igbo land, and what does that mean for the way we talk about “African culture” today?

Christabel went down a research rabbit hole after someone on Instagram told her that Africans must have been beating their children long before colonialism, otherwise why is it so widespread today? She went looking. What she found should make every person of African descent pause.

In this episode, Christabel and Kachi trace the actual timeline: 500 years of colonial contact, a British model of child-rearing that was explicitly theological, and an Igbo cosmology in which children were revered as reincarnated ancestors sacred beings you could lose if you struck them too hard. This is not ancient African tradition. It is colonial management practice, repackaged as culture and handed down as inheritance.

They also get into what it costs us today: hiding tattoos from parents who are themselves 500 years removed from knowing any better, calling queerness un-African, policing each other's bodies, performing respectability for a version of culture that was installed by the people who beat the original one out of us.

And the question that sits underneath all of it: if not our generation, who is actually doing the work of re-indigenization?

This is the first of many conversations on what it looks like to come home.

If you enjoyed this episode, rate and review us because it really helps. Leave a comment and forward it to one friend today.

Stay connected:

Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @Qingkachi

Catch you in the next one.

XO, 

Christabel & Kachi.

We tried to record this episode three times. Between technological difficulties and actual conflict while making a podcast about repair, the irony was not lost on us. We're here now. And we have a lot to say.

This is Part 2 of our conversation on rupture and repair in intimate relationships,  the ones you grew up in, the ones you chose, and the ones you're still trying to figure out how to stay in. This episode gets into the gritty of it: what aftercare actually looks like when nobody modeled it for you, what happens in your nervous system in the middle of a fight, and why the repair skills you're practicing with the wrong person are still worth developing.

We talk about:

the 1% rule,  the courage to name your part even when you're convinced it's not your fault.

what it means to move toward someone when every anxious and avoidant instinct in your body is pulling you somewhere else.

apologies that mean nothing because there was no reflection behind them, and acts of kindness that hold a relationship together without having to address the fight directly.

We also get into something we don't hear discussed enough: why people will stay in disappointing romantic relationships for years and throw away a friendship over something minor. And what Audre Lorde has to do with all of it.

This is not dating advice. This is relational advice. And it applies to every relationship you are trying to build a life inside of.

Resources mentioned: Relational Skills for Liberation Workbook and The Repair Manual — get your copy here.

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a comment, review, question and share with one friend today. 

xo, C&K

Episode: Money Loves Circles - Working with Friends ft. Lola

In this groundbreaking first guest episode, Christabel sits down with Oakland-based stylist Lola to challenge one of capitalism's biggest lies: "Don't mix business with friendship."

In This Episode:

Why wealthy people always do business with family and friends

The capitalistic conditioning that keeps marginalized communities poor

How to navigate conflict in business relationships with friends

Building self-trust and follow-through

The role of vulnerability and relational skills in business partnerships

Reclaiming abundance as descendants of opulence

About Lola: Lola is an Oakland-based stylist, creative, and dear friend to Christabel and Kachi. She styles WNBA players and helps people unlearn the conditioning that ruins personal style, creating closets that future generations will fight over.

Find Lola:

Instagram: @lola.styling

Substack: Hypnotic Style

Timestamps:

2:22 - The lie about mixing business and friendship

5:20 - Self-trust and follow-through

9:35 - Breaking shame spirals

22:30 - Learning conflict resolution skills

42:25 - Reclaiming ancestral abundance

46:06 - Why you can work with friends

Key Quotes: "Money loves circles" - on how wealth circulates among the wealthy "I don't believe in being lonely at the top" "If you can work with your microaggressive boss, you can work with your friend"

If you enjoyed this episode, can you do two things for us please:

Share it with one friend

Leave us a rating and review

See you in the next one.

Ps. the video version is on YouTube if you're a visual person.

In this deeply vulnerable Part 1 episode, Christabel and Kachi peel back the layers of their origin stories to understand how they learned to navigate conflict, safety, and love.

Coming from two distinct backgrounds, both shaped by the violence of the Biafran genocide survivors and the silence of a strict religious household, we explore the survival strategies that saved us as children but challenged us as adults.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Fighter vs. The Performer: How Christabel learned to "fight back" and "hulk out" as a parentified daughter, while Kachi learned to "perform goodness" and embrace silence to survive a high-control environment.

The Cost of Survival: The impact of domestic violence, physical abuse, and the pressure to be a "good child" on our nervous systems.

Queer Identity in the Shadows: Kachi opens up about navigating lesbian identity in a Nigerian Catholic all girls boarding school and the internal conflict of hiding to stay safe.

Two Paths to Healing: We break down the myth that there is only one way to heal. We discuss how Kachi found herself through solitude, sobriety, and psilocybin , while Christabel needed to heal in relationship to witness her own triggers.

Join us as we trace our attachment styles back to the source and prepare the ground for Part 2.

Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it.

XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties

Christabel & Kachi



Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe

Christabel and Kachi are back. Two queer Igbo aunties, newly engaged, talking honestly about what it means to choose a lesbian life in the shadow of homophobic parents, church aunties, and colonial expectations.

In this episode they unpack what engagement and turning forty have stirred up. Christabel shares what it is to propose after two divorces and a Jehovah’s Witness childhood. Kachi talks about returning to the community they grew up in with Christabel who is fully tatted and pierced and feeling the monitoring spirits in the room. Together they name the grief of parents who will never fully celebrate their love, and the freedom that comes from refusing to hide.

They explore grief as an alchemical practice for queer African babies. What happens when you stop waiting for your family to change, tell the truth anyway, and let yourself mourn the parents you wish you had. How grief purifies, how boundaries shift, and how standing in your reality becomes an offering to the ancestors and to the next generation of queer Africans.

If you are the obedient child who turned into the rebellious queer adult, if you are tired of hiding from your family while holding everyone else together, this conversation is for you.

Find us on Instagram @richqueeraunties @christabelmintahgalloway @qingkachi

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a review, rate us and share with one person today to help the algorithm do its thing to get this to the people who need it.

XO, Your Rich Queer Aunties

Christabel & Kachi



Get full access to Rich Queer Aunties at christabelmintahgalloway.substack.com/subscribe