LOVERS by shan

• S2 Ep132: He Had Multiple Lovers and I Was Good with Just Him. Alyson Stoner On Their Intro To Polyamory

  What does it really mean to build a relationship outside the rules you were taught? Is it still polyamory if only one person has other lovers? And most importantly, what happens when that dynamic actually works for you? In this honest and eye-opening conversation, multi-disciplinary entertainer, author, and founder of Movement Genius, Alyson Stoner, shares their experience in their polyamorous journey. We dive into the importance of knowing your own capacity for connection, and Alyson’s go-to communication tool: Frequency, Duration, and Intensity. It’s a simple yet powerful way to check in about how often you connect, for how long, and with what level of emotional depth. Even if you’re monogamous, this framework can change the way you relate, helping you set boundaries, stay aligned, and make sure your relationships feel balanced and intentional. Whether you’re curious about polyamory or simply want tools for building healthier, more intentional partnerships, this episode will leave you thinking about love in a whole new way. 🔗 Follow Alyson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alysonstoner TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alysonstoner YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alysonstoner 📚 Preorder Alyson’s new book Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything (Out August 12, 2025) → https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/semi-well-adjusted-9781250353498/  🧠 Learn more about Movement Genius → https://www.movementgenius.com/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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• S2 Ep131: The Eartha Kitt Effect Why Women Are Happily Choosing the Single Life for Life

  What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with just you? In this bold and expansive episode, Shan dives into The Eartha Kitt Effect—a cultural and emotional awakening inspired by the legendary performer Eartha Kitt, whose unapologetic views on love, compromise, and individuality continue to resonate decades later. This “effect” refers to the growing movement of people, especially women, who are choosing the single life on purpose, not by default. Joining Shan is Dr. Bella DePaulo, renowned social psychologist and author of Single at Heart, to unpack why some of the most fulfilled people are not in romantic relationships—and never want to be. Together, they explore: 🔥 Why Eartha Kitt’s viral interview moment ("Compromise? For what?") sparked a generation of self-partnership 🌱 How choosing not to center romance can lead to deeper personal growth, freedom, and connection 🧠 The science behind happiness in singlehood and the myth of the “incomplete” single person 💔 How media and social norms still stigmatize solo living—and what it looks like to rewrite your own happy ending Eartha’s now-iconic 1982 interview, where she laughs at the idea of compromising for a man, has become a symbol for self-honoring love. Her words echo across social media as more people step into identities that aren’t centered on romantic validation but on personal wholeness. Whether you're single by choice, rethinking long-term relationships, or simply seeking permission to define love your way—this episode is your affirmation. ✨ The Eartha Kitt Effect is here so listen now and ask yourself: What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with you? 🔗 Follow Bella DePaulo:  Website: belladepaulo.com Books: Single at Heart, How We Live Now, and more – Amazon 💞 Want more from Lover?  → Meet Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you: loversbyshan.com → Get a free weekly Love Letter straight to your inbox: Join the newsletter → Join the Lovers Community: loversbyshan.com/community → Try free quizzes + worksheets: Deepen your relationships 📩 For ads or inquiries: [email protected]

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• S2 Ep130: No One Talks About How Hard Making Friends As An Adult Is ft. Krista Williams

  Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? This episode is a rerun, and it's STILL very accurate.  According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, many people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So, how long does it take to make a new friend? - 50 hours before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode, I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia, and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs, and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMF,T, and Danielle Bayard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert, for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/ http://tiktok.com/shanboody    / @loversbyshan   Follow Krista:  https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/ Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected]

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• S2 Ep129: Is a Good Man Good Enough? ft. Miranda Rae Mayo

  What if the love story you were chasing… was never really yours? In this episode, actress Miranda Rae Mayo joins Shan to explore the journey of finding love by letting go of the fantasy. Known for her role on Chicago Fire, Miranda opens up about her current relationship and how she had to release the pressure to be “perfect” to experience a real connection. Together, they explore how love doesn’t always look the way we expected, and why exploring non-monogamy challenged (and expanded) her thoughts around love, security, and partnership. 🔗 Follow Miranda Miranda https://www.instagram.com/mrmayo Follow her exclusive project https://www.instagram.com/hereshecomestv/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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• S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response ft. Anwar White

  What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them? Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs. In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth. This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story. 🔗 Follow Anwar https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwar Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvj Checkout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

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