Gay Men Going Deeper

• Falling in Love With The Fantasy

  Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real. In this episode, Michael and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing. We’ll unpack: What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it  How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytelling How seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfied How to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and human Whether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less” If you’ve ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens. Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo Website Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Website Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

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• Joy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy

  Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well. We explore: The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present. How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss  The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm’s length. What we’re really trying to protect ourselves from when we don’t let joy all the way in. By the end, you’ll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

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• Following Your Joy: A Special Solo Episode with Reno

  What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your guiding light? Your compass? What is in the way of you experiencing more joy in your life? What if you could find joy in how you dress, what you eat, how you exercise, where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, and how you navigate your day to day life? These, and more, are the questions we’ll cover in this intuitive and inspired conversation around following your joy. True to form, you will be joining Reno on location at Sunset Beach, in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, where he followed his joy down to the beach where he fell in love with Vancouver, so that he could not just talk about following your joy, but embody it. Note: You may occasionally hear some fun background noise, which actually becomes part of the conversation, so you’ll want to keep listening. Today's Host: Reno Johnston Instagram Facebook Schedule a Zoom Call Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

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• How to Find More Joy in Your Life

  Joy isn’t just fireworks and big milestones; it’s in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re diving into what joy really feels like, how it shifts as we evolve and age, and why it’s less about chasing highs and more about cultivating presence. We’ll explore: The difference between joy and pleasure (and why we confuse them) Joy-givers vs. joy-suckers (and how to spot yours) The role of play, laughter, and lightheartedness in a joyful life How to deepen your relationship with joy in your next chapter Why joy is a skill you can practice, not just a mood you stumble into If you’re ready to move beyond quick fixes and start building a life that feels nourishing, playful, and deeply fulfilling, this conversation is for you. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

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• Perfectionism, Pressure, and the Gay Overachiever

  You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear. In this episode, Michael is joined by special guest Scott Stirrett as they share their own stories of hustling for achievement and how they’ve learned to stay ambitious without destroying themselves in the process. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, internalized shame, and the need for external validation can be ways we attempt to outrun our insecurities — and pivot toward ambition that’s healthy, sustainable, and soul-driven. Topics covered in this episode: Why gay men are uniquely wired for overachievement How perfectionism shows up in covert and overt ways How adversity can build anti-fragility and real confidence The difference between healthy ambition vs shame-fuelled hustle Learning to slow down without feeling lazy, guilty, or like you’re falling behind Rewiring your motivation so it feeds you instead of drains you By the end of this episode, you’ll be inspired to pursue success in a way that keeps you driven and impactful — without burning yourself out — and to start measuring your worth from the inside out. Today's Guest: Scott Stirrett LinkedIn Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Men's Group Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

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