Twinks, Jocks, and Bears, Oh My! The Obsession with Gay Labels
Today we’re diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels.
In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with categories like “twink,” “daddy,” “masc,” “otter,” “guy next door,” and every micro-label in between… and how these identities shape the way we date, belong, and see ourselves.
We explore:
Why labels can feel empowering (and sometimes limiting)
How they create tribe, shorthand, and community
When they become boxes we get stuck in
How attraction, identity, and insecurity get wrapped into these roles
What happens when you “grow out” of a label or never fit one at all
It’s a fun, honest look at the ways we use labels to navigate gay life: where they help, where they fall short, and why they matter more than most of us want to admit.
If you enjoy these more conversational episodes, let us know… we’re trying something new.
Today's Hosts:
Matt Landsiedel
Michael DiIorio
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Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
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Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
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25:31
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25:31
The Slow Fade: When We Ghost Without Ghosting
Today we’re talking about The Slow Fade: that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one day…it’s just silence.
In this episode, we’re unpacking:
Why we quietly quit people instead of having real conversations
What’s actually happening beneath the surface for both sides — the Fader and the Fadee
Who deserves an explanation and who doesn’t
What can we do instead of fading away
If you’ve ever been on either side of The Slow Fade, this conversation will help you see what’s really going on underneath, and how to move through it with more clarity, courage, and integrity.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
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47:43
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47:43
Nesting: Creating Platonic Spaces for Healing and Authentic Connection in the Gay Community
What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of this episode, you will be able to identify what a nest is, how you could benefit from one, and where to find or create one if you are interested in nesting.
The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:
What is “nesting” and why is it important for gay men?
What moments in our lives require the need for nesting?
How do we know when we’re “nested” — or when we’re not?
What makes a nest truly safe?
How do you tend and protect a nest once it’s formed?
What could gay culture look like if nesting became normal?
What’s one small way you can begin nesting today?
Today's Guest: Nigel Pedlingham
Gay Men's Retreat
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Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel
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TikTok
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
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48:11
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48:11
How to Open Your Heart to Receive Love
We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it?
In this episode, we’re going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the subtle subconscious programming that keeps love at arm’s length to the sneaky ways we self-sabotage, we’re unpacking the hidden barriers that make intimacy feel unsafe (even when we crave it most).
You’ll learn:
Why receiving love can feel harder than giving it
How old conditioning teaches us to block love without realizing it
The difference between performing for love and allowing it in
Practical ways to build safety, self-trust, and openness in all forms of love—romantic, platonic, and self
If you find yourself pushing love away, deflecting compliments, or find yourself stuck in patterns that keep intimacy just out of reach—this one’s for you.
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
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45:14
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45:14
Falling in Love With The Fantasy
Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally makes everything click. But that idealized version of love often keeps us chasing what looks right instead of what feels real.
In this episode, Michael DiIorio and therapist, Michael Pezzullo, explore how fantasy, perfectionism, and external validation shape the way we love- and why chasing the ideal often keeps us from the real thing.
We’ll unpack:
What it looks like to fall in love with potential - and why we do it
How to tell the difference between healthy excitement and mental storytelling
How seeking the “perfect” partner keeps us single or dissatisfied
How to stop chasing the ideal and let love be more organic and human
Whether letting go of the fantasy means “settling for less”
If you’ve ever been in love with potential or the picture-perfect relationship, this conversation will help you come back to reality…where real connection actually happens.
Today's Guest: Michael Pezzullo
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Today's Host: Michael DiIorio
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Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
Gay Men Going Deeper is a weekly podcast that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health, and sexuality - from an unapologetically gay perspective.
Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, and featuring a wide range of special guests, you can expect to be inspired, entertained, and even a little triggered from time to time.
This provocative podcast is for anyone who craves deeper conversations on topics ranging from spirituality to sexuality - and everything in between.
Visit us at www.GayMenGoingDeeper.com
Support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=LT55M79CMH5FN