Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah

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TIMESTAMPS

0:00 your job is not your purpose
1:30 purpose is too much responsibility for an employer
3:30 the job market is unpredictable
6:14 playing the status games
13:13 overcoming your sense of control
16:14 generalists are the future

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I used to think becoming a full-time content creator was the obvious end goal.Build an audience. Get brand deals. Quit your job. Make money online. Freedom.But the longer I’ve been doing this, the more I’ve realised that making content your ONLY source of income can actually take away some of the freedom that made creating fun in the first place.Today, I filmed $9,550 worth of content in around two hours. Which sounds ridiculous. And trust me, I’m incredibly grateful.But it also made me think about the side of content creation that people rarely show you.Because once your livelihood depends on views, sponsorships and brand deals, saying “no” becomes harder. Suddenly, every video has to perform. Every opportunity feels like money you can’t afford to turn down. And sometimes the companies offering the most money aren’t necessarily the companies you actually want to recommend to your audience.Honestly, I think having income outside of content has given me more creative freedom, not less.It means I can say no.I can post something because I actually want to talk about it.And I don’t have to turn every part of my life into a product just because the algorithm needs feeding.So no, I don’t think everyone should become a full-time content creator.Sometimes keeping content as one part of your career might actually be the thing that allows you to enjoy it for longer.Chapters 0:00 - Intro2:44 - No room to grow4:54 - Bending your morals7:11 - Individuality is not rewarded8:19 - You have very little control10:05 - Censor yourself11:56 - What the 1% do🎀 Become a LinkedIn Baddie (upgrade your profile in 10 mins)https://profilefix.christina-aaliyah.com/?src=youtubeCozy Meet Ups w/ our communityLondon → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meetManchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

🎟️ Upgrade your linkedin profile in 10 minutes → https://profilefix.christina-aaliyah.com/I genuinely never thought posting silly little videos online would put me in rooms like this.This video is a bit different from what I normally post, but I recently got invited to an Apple event (eek!) and stayed in a 5-star hotel, tried out new tech, met some incredible creators, and honestly… the whole experience messed with my head a little bit. In a good way.I’m someone who works constantly. I’m always thinking about the next thing, the next client, the next video, the next goal. I’m terrible at switching off.So being forced to slow down for one night made me realise how rarely I actually stop and look at how far I’ve come.A few years ago, I was working in the NHS, completely burnt out, making YouTube videos on the side because I enjoyed them. Now I’m being invited to events like this, building my own business, helping people with their careers, and somehow having conversations about whether I should become a full-time content creator.Which still feels insane to even type.I also talk about why I genuinely think everyone should have a side hustle. Not because you need to hustle 24/7, but because having something outside your job can give you options, confidence, skills, and sometimes just the hope that your current situation isn’t forever.Lowkey, that hope is what helped me leave medicine.This trip also made me realise something else: I am really bad at rewarding myself.I’ll work myself into the ground and then think buying a coffee counts as a treat. But what is the point of working this hard if you never actually enjoy any of it?So this video is part vlog, part career crisis, part life update, and part reminder to just start the thing you keep thinking about.The blog. The business. The TikTok. The YouTube channel. The side hustle. Whatever it is.Because honestly, you have no idea where it might take you.What’s something you’ve been putting off because you don’t feel “ready” yet?Cozy Meet Ups w/ our communityLondon → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meetManchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

I ask my mum for dating advice all the time, so honestly, it felt slightly selfish not to bring her on here and let you guys ask her questions too.She got married at 22, divorced, spent years as a single mum, dated for decades, and eventually found a relationship that looks completely different from what she thought her “type” would be.So, safe to say, she has STORIES.We talk about dating red flags, how to know when someone actually likes you, why someone’s actions matter more than what they promise you, and why having a “type” might lowkey be keeping you away from the person who is actually right for you.One thing that really stuck with me was her advice to stop making excuses for behaviour that goes against your core values. Because sometimes we spend so much time wondering, “Am I overreacting?” when the better question might be, “Is this actually acceptable to me?”We also get into how to get over someone you can’t have, decentering men without completely giving up on dating, healing before dating, anxious vs. avoidant attachment, whether you should sleep with someone on the first date, when to define the relationship, and the whole instant spark vs. slow burn debate.This is basically dating advice for women in their 20s from someone who has actually lived through marriage, divorce, heartbreak, single motherhood, dating apps, bad dates, and eventually finding a healthy relationship.Real talk, I think a lot of us are trying so hard to find the “right person” that we forget to ask whether we even know what the right relationship should feel like.
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 — Intro
1:46 — Why My Mum Gives Me Dating Advice
2:29 — Getting Married at 22
3:00 — Falling in Love With Potential vs. Reality
4:59 — Dating Advice for Men
6:01 — Red Flags vs. Normal Flaws
7:37 — Should You Give Them Another Chance?
8:28 — Why You Need to Actually Date
9:19 — How Do You Know Someone Is Right for You?
10:43 — Why Your “Type” Might Be Wrong for You
13:13 — What Makes a Man Attractive?
14:31 — How to Get Over Someone You Can’t Have
15:19 — Should Women Decenter Men?
16:50 — Why My Mum Only Had One Child
18:03 — When Is the Right Time to Have Kids?
19:39 — You Cannot Change a Man
20:29 — Why Do We Try to Change People?
21:32 — Dating Again After Rejection or Heartbreak
22:46 — Rapid-Fire Dating Questions
23:43 — Sex on the First Date?
25:00 — Staying Friends With Your Ex
25:39 — When Should You Define the Relationship?
26:03 — Instant Spark vs. Slow Burn
26:58 — Being Desired vs. Being Understood
27:09 — Healing Before Dating vs. Healing Through Dating
27:52 — Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment
28:15 — Final Thoughts
So I’m curious: Are you dating based on what you genuinely need… or based on the person you always imagined you would end up with?
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If you hate your job but have absolutely no idea what to do next, this video is for you.I spent £87,000 and five years in medical school for what I thought was my dream career, only to realise about 18 months into working as a doctor that I could not see myself doing it long term. That was a very expensive identity crisis.And honestly, I think a lot of people know they want to leave their job before they actually understand why.So in this video, I break it down into four things: pay, pressure, people, and purpose.Because sometimes you do not need to completely change your life. Maybe you need to negotiate your salary. Maybe you need a side hustle. Maybe your job is fine, but your boundaries are terrible. Maybe your coworkers are draining you. Or maybe you keep expecting your career to give you all the meaning that is missing from the rest of your life.Lowkey, I think that distinction matters.I also talk about what actually helped me leave medicine: building skills outside my job, becoming more visible on LinkedIn, creating financial independence, and slowly getting to a point where I had options instead of feeling trapped.Real talk, quitting is not always the answer.But neither is staying somewhere that is making you miserable just because you have no plan.
TIMESTAMPS:
02:13 — You’re Not Paid Enough
08:20 — You’re Burnt Out
14:56 — The People Are the Problem
19:54 — Your Job Feels Meaningless.
So if you are trying to figure out what to do with your life, what career to choose, whether to quit your job, how to find purpose in your career, or how to make more money without starting over completely, hopefully this gives you a clearer place to start.What if the problem is not that you chose the wrong career… but that you have not figured out which part of it is actually making you unhappy?
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