3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

I didn't learn until I was 40 years old that my body moves through four distinct phases every single month — and that each one of those phases affects my mood, my energy, my patience, and my ability to connect with the people I love. Which means that the version of me who felt so present and empathetic last Tuesday wasn't just "having a good day." And the version of me who snapped at everyone before dinner on Friday wasn't failing. Both of those women were showing up exactly on schedule — I just didn't have the language for it yet.

This episode is about what becomes possible when we finally have that language, and how empowering it is to understand our bodies well enough to show up the way we actually want to — and to have real grace for ourselves when that's harder.

This week's guest is Shara Jackson Harper, a licensed mental health therapist, hormone and cycle guide, and mother of five who helps women understand how their internal rhythms shape the way they show up for the people they love most.

In this episode, you'll learn:

✨ The golden conversation Shara had with her 15-year-old son — and the specific reason she believes the timing made all the difference

✨ Why most women are often carrying a "basket of shame" about their hard days, and what Shara says we can do with it instead

✨ The simple three-part formula Shara uses to talk to her own family about where she is in her cycle — and why her kids actually know what "lower bandwidth week" means

So here's to understanding ourselves a little better, giving ourselves a little more grace, and showing up for our people in the ways we actually want to.

 

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

Hormone Cycle Guide: Shara has created a free handout with an overview of all four phases of the menstrual cycle plus a printable tracker to help you start noticing your own patterns. Grab it at 3in30podcast.com/cycleconnection.

 

March 30th is 3 in 30 Day! This year I wanted to celebrate by highlighting YOU. I'm collecting voice messages from listeners sharing your favorite episode and what about it made an impact or stayed with you, and my podcast editor is going to weave them all together into one really special episode. Prefer to write it out instead? You can do that too. Just head to 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th. It only takes a minute, and I really cannot wait to hear from you.

Related Episodes:

410: Align Your Goal-Setting with Your Menstrual Cycle // April Davis of Haus of Vagina

314: How to Feel Like Yourself in Motherhood // Aleisha McKean

205: How to Coach Yourself Through Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson

Episode Sponsors:

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A year ago this month, the travel and motherhood world lost Elise Caffee — blogger, adventurer, mother of three, and the woman behind the hashtag "take the trip." Elise believed, down to her bones, that making memories with your kids was always worth it — the chaos, the cost, the exhaustion, all of it. This episode is for her.

 

This week's guest is Tiffany Rosenhan, Elise's dear friend, co-author, and co-founder of Jumelle Press. Together, they wrote Pippa and Poppy Adventure — a beautiful children's book about two identical twins exploring Europe — and Tiffany is here today to carry Elise's message forward. With spring break just around the corner, her three takeaways feel especially timely — whether you're heading somewhere far or just loading up the car for a day trip an hour from home.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🧳 The story of why Tiffany's family pulled their kids out of school and traveled abroad for five months — and why she says she'd do it again without hesitation

🧳 What Elise's daughters did three weeks after she passed away, and what it reveals about the culture she built in her family

🧳 The surprising science behind why travel builds stronger memories in kids' brains than almost anything else you can do together

So here's to loading up the car, booking the day trip, or simply putting the phone down and being present with your people this spring. The memories don't require a passport — they just require you.

 

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

March 30th is 3 in 30 Day — and this year I'm celebrating by highlighting YOU! Share your favorite episode and its impact at 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th, and your message may be woven into a very special episode.

Related Episodes:

453: How to Travel for FREE with Your Family (Really!) // Amber Paul

418: Staying Home for Spring Break? 3 Ways to Make it Memorable (and Manageable!) // 3 in 30 Team

431: 3 Road Trip Hacks for Traveling with Kids // Brittney Hanks

Episode Sponsors:

BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.

Bubs Naturals: Live Better Longer! For a limited time only, our listeners are getting 20% OFF at bubsnaturals.com by using code 3in30 at checkout.

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A few years ago, I read a book that made me think it was reading my mind. In the introduction, the author asks: Do you ever feel like you're running faster but not moving any closer to your goals? Do you want to make a higher contribution but you lack the energy? Are you teetering right on the edge of burnout?

I wrote, "Yes, yes, yes!" next to each question in the margin of my copy.

The book is Effortless by Greg McKeown, and it's the follow-up to his first book Essentialism, which I talked about in last week's episode. In today's episode, Greg talks about how we can lighten the load of motherhood without burning out.

Greg acknowledges that life is genuinely hard—raising children is hard, paying the bills is hard, strained relationships are hard—and he's not promising to eliminate those hardships. But he does offer tools that can help lighten the load, and that's exactly what we talk about in this episode.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why striving for 100% effort actually makes you less effective—and the optimal pace that will help you go further without burning out

💜 The question Greg asks when everything feels overwhelming (hint: it's not "what can I cut?" but something far more freeing)

💜 What radical gratitude actually means—and why it's the only thing powerful enough to counter the suffering we all experience in motherhood

If you've been running on empty, if the mental and emotional load feels crushing, or if you're wondering how to keep showing up when everything feels so hard, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

My Declutter Your Motherhood audio course walks you through the exact process I use to release the "shoulds" that don't fit me anymore and make room for what actually brings me joy.

Related Episodes:

468: Stop the Runaway Train: How to Get Back to What Actually Matters

412: How to Overcome Overwhelm

401: How Radical Gratitude Can Change Your Life // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi

Episode Sponsors:

Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30.

Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com.

Skylight: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS.

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Right now I am definitely feeling the pull to simplify things in my life. I even said to my husband the other day, "I feel a bit like I'm on a runaway train!" Luckily, it's not the first time I've felt this way. I now know that this happens sometimes and life will suddenly accelerate faster than I intended.

But here's what I've learned: I'm not actually on a runaway train. I can choose to get off. The harder question is how—and that's exactly what this episode is about.

As I take a break from new episodes this month in an effort to get off the train, it was important to me to re-air this episode that essentially taught me how to figure out what actually needs my energy—and what doesn't. It's based on Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. Greg's work has been part of my mental bookshelf for a decade, and these lessons about becoming an essentialist help me recalibrate whenever I need them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

🚂 Why the word "priority" was originally singular (and stayed that way for 500 years)—and what that means for how we should be living our lives

🚂 The question Greg McKeown asks himself when he's overwhelmed in a hotel room at midnight that helps him figure out what actually matters right now

🚂 How to stop diffusing your energy in a million directions and start making real progress in the areas that matter most

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

I'm taking a break from airing new episodes during February so I can rest and honor the needs of my body, mind, and spirit. I'm practicing what I preach by sanctifying my soul care this month, and I hope these encore episodes inspire you to do the same. This episode beautifully supports the fourth principle of the Self-Assured Motherhood Framework: Sanctify Your Soul Care.

Related Episodes:

438: How Soul-Care Can Help You Enjoy Motherhood More: Real Stories from Moms Like You // SAM Sisters

441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad

412: How to Overcome Overwhelm

Episode Sponsors:

Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30.

Wildgrain: Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box—PLUS free Croissants for life—when you go to Wildgrain.com/3IN30 to start your subscription today.

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It's easy to notice when your marriage feels disconnected, but it's much harder to know what to actually do about it. And it's even harder to look at your own part in the dynamic instead of just wishing your partner would change.

This Valentine's Week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite conversations with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a relationship and sexuality coach whose work has profoundly impacted my own marriage. In this encore episode, she shares three concrete, actionable things we can do right now to become better partners and strengthen our marriages.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 The one quality Dr. Jennifer looks for in a great partner (most of us avoid it, but it's what makes marriages actually work)

💜 Why how you handle disappointment matters more than compatibility

💜 What's really behind sexual disconnection—and it's not lack of desire

Dr. Jennifer has a gift for helping us see our blind spots without shame, and this conversation gave me concrete things I could actually do instead of just wishing things were different. While this episode won't hand you a perfect marriage, it will show you how to stop waiting for your spouse to change and start working on what you can actually control.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

***

Announcements:

Dr. Jennifer's book That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity and Intimate Love is now available. I listened to it on audio and then immediately ordered the paperback so I could mark it up. Grab it here.

I've created an entire playlist of relationship-focused episodes. Access it here.

Related Episodes:

342: Communicating to your Partner that Things Need to Change // Eli Harwood

222: How to Repair after a Fight with your Partner // Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman

223: Sex and Motherhood // Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Episode Sponsors:

Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30.

First Day: For a limited time only, our listeners are getting an insane deal. Use code 3IN30 to get up to 57% Off at First Day dot com. That's up to 57% Off and a Free Gift with code 3IN30 at FirstDay.com. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you.

BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.

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