The Forgotten Podcast

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Vania Ferreira to address a sensitive and profoundly challenging topic that foster and adoptive families occasionally face but rarely discuss: what to do when your child hurts another child. Vania opens up about her family's lived experiences with severe behavioral challenges, trauma-induced chaos, and navigating the heartbreaking revelation of child-on-child sexual abuse.
Vania shares the raw realities of her family's journey, which began under-prepared as an unexpected kinship emergency placement in late 2013. She details the intense initial year of dealing with extreme anger, threats, and violence from children who had been exposed to heavy domestic abuse. Just as their home was transitioning into a season of calm and trust, the family faced their ultimate nightmare when their child disclosed experiencing sexual abuse and vocalized an active intent to hurt other children. Vania openly describes the overwhelming whirlwind that followed, including police reports, hospital evaluations, state investigations, and a complete lack of public inpatient resources.
Throughout the conversation, Vania details how this crisis forced her family into deep isolation, unable to safely participate in church or community events. She addresses the painful legal and emotional crossroads her family endured, caught between threats of child abandonment and child endangerment from the state. Ultimately, the episode highlights the profound spiritual turning point where the Lord challenged Vania to move past natural anger and hatred, choosing to extend the unconditional love and forgiveness of Christ to a child acting out in brokenness.
This episode offers critical, life-saving guidance on body safety and boundary rules for young children. Vania provides invaluable advice on teaching accurate body terminology without shame, defining the strict line between secrets and surprises, and establishing safe words. It stands as a vital resource and a message of redemption, reminding caregivers that they are not alone and that true healing is possible through the strength and identity found in Christ.
About the Guest
Vania Ferreira has been an active part of the foster and adoption community alongside her husband, Rob, since 2013. She is a mother to many, including four children whom they have adopted. Having walked through unexpected kinship placements and navigating complex trauma within her home, Vania is dedicated to breaking the silence surrounding child-on-child abuse by offering families practical boundary education and gospel-centered hope.
In This Episode
The unique vulnerabilities of entering kinship care through emergency guardianship without traditional foster parent training.

Managing extreme childhood trauma behaviors, threats of violence, and a desire for chaos in the home.

Navigating the intense aftermath of a child's sexual abuse disclosure, including medical evaluations and state agency investigations.

The severe isolation families face when dealing with behavioral safety concerns that prevent them from accessing church or local community groups.

Facing systemic gaps, including the total lack of inpatient services for young children and a state system that leaves parents trapped between child abandonment and endangerment charges.

The challenging spiritual calling to protect biological children through separation while continuing to love, forgive, and advocate for a child who has caused harm.

Practical body safety guidelines for parents, including teaching correct anatomy terms, establishing household boundary rules, and practicing situational exits.

Redefining the difference between dangerous "secrets" and safe "surprises" to equip vulnerable children with a protective voice.

Creating a family culture centered on Ephesians 6, daily scriptural anchoring, and trusting in the Lord's strength over your own.

Resources + Links
Full Spectrum Parent by Christian Parenting (podcast) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/full-spectrum-parent-christian-autism-support-special/id1589016732

The Warner Boys by Ana and Curt Warner (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40552513-the-warner-boys

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/163659.Ten_Things_Every_Child_with_Autism_Wishes_You_Knew

Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/

Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Candace Smouse, a TFI advocate from Spokane, Washington, who is a foster, adoptive, and birth mom to six kids. Fostering as a family for five years, Candace shares her journey of opening her home to children with special needs and navigating the unique joys and demands of raising her now-adopted son who has autism. She explores the common fears foster parents face when considering a special needs placement and offers insight on moving forward through the unknown with faith and expectation.
Candace candidly details the realities of bringing her son home just before his fourth birthday as his fourth placement in a short span of time. She describes the initial challenges of caring for a child who was completely nonverbal, not potty trained, and struggling with behavior and severe dietary restrictions. Through her family's story, she highlights the exhausting early months, the complex dynamics and feelings of parental guilt that can surface with biological siblings, and the turning point of finding the right in-home therapeutic support.
The conversation also breaks down the different levels of autism to help listeners better understand the wide spectrum of care children may require. Candace shares practical advice on how to become a "squeaky wheel" and fiercely advocate within the school system, utilizing resources like Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) and special education accommodations.
Ultimately, this episode provides deep encouragement for any caregiver feeling isolated or overwhelmed in the thick of special needs parenting. Candace points listeners toward a profound hope rooted in the Lord, reminding foster and adoptive families that they are never truly alone and that stepping into the hard places can expand a family's world with unexpected blessings, deeper empathy, and unconditional love.
About the Guest
Candace Smouse is a TFI advocate based in Spokane, Washington. She has been married for 18 years and is a mother to six children through birth, foster care, and adoption. With five years of active fostering experience, Candace is deeply passionate about serving the foster care community, supporting families, and sharing the lessons she has learned through years of dedicated care for her adopted son with autism.
In This Episode
An introduction to Candace's background and how a recurring dream prepped her heart to accept a special needs placement.

The realities of navigating the foster care licensing system and handling the emotional weight of saying no to difficult placements.

A look into the early days with her son Anthony, including the challenge of being his fourth placement in less than six months.

Understanding the three levels of autism, ranging from high-functioning traits to intense, around-the-clock physical care needs.

Navigating the hidden challenges of special needs parenting, such as public outbursts, sibling jealousy, and the pressure of public judgment.

Learning to advocate in the school system by utilizing therapeutic partners, tracking data, and calling IEP meetings.

How special needs parenting expands a family's perspective, fostering deep empathy, awareness, and immediate acceptance within biological children.

A message of hope and perseverance for caregivers enduring seasons of parenting exhaustion and spiritual despair.

Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/

Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

Full Spectrum Parent by Christian Parenting (podcast) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/full-spectrum-parent-christian-autism-support-special/id1589016732

The Warner Boys by Ana and Curt Warner (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40552513-the-warner-boys

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/163659.Ten_Things_Every_Child_with_Autism_Wishes_You_Knew

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Melissa Murphy and Chandler Edge from Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies to discuss Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). As occupational therapy professionals, they share how this frequently undiagnosed condition impacts children in foster care and the families who love them.


Melissa and Chandler break down how the central nervous system controls our daily experiences and what happens when a child's sensory system is out of balance due to genetics, prenatal care, birth history, or early childhood trauma. They explore how sensory dysregulation is often misinterpreted as defiance or hyperactivity, offering practical guidance to help caregivers distinguish between a sensory meltdown and goal-directed behavior. Learn how to implement actionable tools like sensory diets, heavy work, and calming spaces to support your child today.


About the Guests
Melissa Murphy is an occupational therapist, owner of Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies, and a dedicated advocate for complex medical diagnoses and community inclusion.

Chandler Edge is an occupational therapist assistant and partner at Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies, working alongside Melissa to support families navigating daily functional challenges.



In This Episode
Introduction to sensory processing disorder and the central nervous system.

Why sensory processing challenges are highly prevalent within the foster care community.

Root causes of sensory dysregulation: genetics, prenatal care, and early life trauma.

The three patterns: sensory seeking, sensory over-responsivity, and sensory under-responsivity.

How to distinguish between a true sensory meltdown and standard behavioral tantrums.

Practical home tools: sensory diets, heavy work activities, and weighted blankets.

Setting up calm corners and advocating for inclusive spaces in churches and classrooms.

The importance of parental patience, self-compassion, and trusting your gut instincts.



Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/

Follow TFI on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

From The Forgotten Initiative comes a brand-new series created specifically for the Foster Care Caseworker.

At The Forgotten Initiative, we’ve always believed that you shouldn’t have to carry the weight of this calling alone. For years, The Forgotten Podcast has been a place for our whole community to gather—but we know that those of you on the front lines carry a unique kind of weight.
 That’s why we’ve created something just for you. Hosted by Jami Kaeb and Jamie Finn, In Case You Forget is a space to breathe, to process the things that follow you home, and to remember the "why" behind your "yes." The weight of child welfare work doesn’t stay at the office. It follows you home, fills the quiet hours of the night, and often leaves you feeling scattered, guilty, or numb. If you are a foster care caseworker, you know the reality of carrying a heavy caseload while managing the emotional toll of decisions often beyond your control.
In Case You Forget is a 12-part series offering faith-based encouragement and honest stories from the field to help you navigate the spiritual and emotional realities of your specific calling. Whether you are walking into a difficult court hearing, responding to a late-night crisis call, or quietly wondering how much longer you can keep showing up, this podcast is here to remind you that you aren't alone. Our mission remains the same: to provide a steady source of hope and practical guidance so you can stay in this calling long-term without losing your faith, your family, or yourself.
The First Five Episodes Available Now:
 Episode 1: Wondering If Your Work Matters (w/Austin Ludwig)
Spotify or  Apple
Episode 2: Noticing Your Attachment Style At Work (w/Kimberly Glaudy) 
Spotify or  Apple
Episode 3: Walking Your Story Alongside Theirs (w/Mia Arrington)
Spotify or  Apple
Episode 4: Learning From Your Anxiety (w/Blair Linne) 
Spotify or  Apple
Episode 5: Managing Your Hard Days (w/Blake Boyer) 
Spotify or Apple

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb sits down with Jonathan Brush, CEO of Unbound and a foster and adoptive dad of eight, to discuss how to help young adults—especially those not pursuing a college degree—successfully transition into adulthood and thrive. The conversation addresses the unique challenges facing children from the foster care community, such as trauma and learning gaps, by focusing on resilience, practical career opportunities in a questions-based economy, and the necessity of high expectations paired with endless patience. Jonathan reframes success as "thriving" and offers guidance on understanding the "creation of value" in the workplace and the irreplaceable power of community.
 
About the Guest
Jonathan Brush is the President and CEO of Unbound. As a first-generation homeschool graduate and a foster and adoptive dad of eight, he is passionate about preparing young adults for life and has spoken on the subject for over a decade.
 
In This Episode
Defining success as “thriving” (living a meaningful, important life) rather than fame, fortune, or power.
Exploring non-college career options in business (marketing, sales, technology/AI) and the trades (welding, plumbing, electrician).
The shift from an "answers-based" paradigm to a "questions-based" paradigm in the modern job market, emphasizing the ability to quickly and effectively master complicated information (QE MCI).
Why the inherent resilience and survival skills of foster children are valuable assets in the current market.
Setting the “high expectation” that young people can thrive, combined with “infinite patience” to help them achieve it.
Understanding work as the “creation of value” by showing up, working hard, treating others well, and “thinking like an owner”.
How to cultivate natural curiosity and the ability to ask better questions by looking for “the game being played underneath the game”.
The critical role of community in driving careers and the willingness to open your home despite imperfections.
  Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative
Learn more about what at TFI Advocate does