Blended Family Breakthrough

If you’ve ever watched your child’s mood shift the moment they step into a handoff…
Or felt the sting of being kept at arm’s length for reasons you can’t explain… 
You’re not imagining it. 
In blended families, kids often carry emotional burdens they were never meant to hold.
In this episode, we name two of the most common “under-the-surface” struggles: loyalty binds (when a child feels torn between a bio parent and a stepparent) and parental allegiance (when a child feels pressure to align with one parent over the other). We share real-life stories, including the quiet pain behind the rejection of a stepparent's sweet gesture, and the way a joyful moment can suddenly collapse into guilt after a call with the other parent.
But we don’t stop at awareness. We give you a plan. We’ll help you slow down, step into your child’s shoes, and create emotional safety. We’ll help step-parents stay hopeful and keep expectations realistic. And we’ll challenge bio parents to protect their kids from adult tension by choosing the neutral zone (where curiosity lowers the temperature and kids are freed to love without feeling responsible for anyone’s emotions).
The win isn’t perfect co-parenting or flawless moments.  It’s this: kids get out of the middle, pressure starts to lift, and your home has room for trust, connection, and peace to grow. 
You’ll Discover:
The difference between a loyalty bind and parental allegiance, and how each one shows up in real life. 
How emotion coaching helps your child process hard feelings without forcing apologies or rushing an unrealistic "fix".  
What step-parents can do to cope with rejection (and why “crockpot bonding” protects your heart and builds trust over time). 
The subtle ways parents accidentally tighten the bind and what to say/do instead to keep kids free to love everyone in both homes. 
How to find and stay in the neutral zone when insecurity, fear, jealousy, or discomfort hits. 
 Resources from this Episode:
Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships by Patricia Papernow
Episode 222.  Step-by-Step Guide:  Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse (part 1 of 2)
Episode 72. The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 159. How to Stay Hopeful as a Stepparent When You're Continually Rejected and Hurt
Episode 161.  How do Healthy Parent/Child Roles Help Avoid the Pitfalls of Parentification? [with Ron Deal & Lauren Reitsema]  
Episode 210.  Is your child pulling away?  Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and Love
Episode 211.  8 Warning Signs Your Ex Is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and Mind
Ready for some extra support?
We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Resources
Last week's episode :
Episode 228. How 4 Simple Steps Can Transform Your Family's Struggles into Amazing Wins This Year 
Moving Beyond Fear:
Episode 50: How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want 
Episode 147: Do Sensitive Conversations end up creating conflict in your relationship?
Episode 179. Conquer Fear and Embrace Your Blend with Confidence and Clarity
Episode 98. Is fear of being vulnerable keeping you from loving your spouse wholeheartedly?
Coping with Impatience:
Episode 105. What powerful traits do you need to successfully blend and stay united?
Episode 89. Feeling Stuck in the Change Process?  Change Isn't the Issue - Transition Is
Episode 72. The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships
Episode 159.  How to Stay Hopeful as a Stepparent When You're Continually Rejected and Hurt
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs & Excuses:
Episode 120. 3 Valuable Lessons That Saved Our Marriage and Blended Family
Episode 165. How important is your mindset when it comes to blended family life?
Episode 217. Feeling Overwhelmed and Powerless?  How to Regain Hope with Tools that Heal [with EJ & Tarah Kerwin]
Episode 51. Overcoming Discouragement
Managing Emotional Pain:
Episode 187. Basics for Blending:  How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress
Episode 202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]
Episode 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences
Episode 107. 3 Disheartening Realities That No Couple Want To Go Through - But We all Have To
Embracing the Lone Ranger position:
Episode 209. Breaking Free from Self-Doubt: 5 Habits to Build Confidence and Trust in Yourself
Episode 215. Does Your Relationship Feel Hopeless?  Why Giving Up Might Not Be the Answer
Episode 65. 6 Simple Steps for Inviting Your Spouse to Get Help With You
Episode 138. How Relational Dysfunction Plagued Our Marriage and How We Finally Broke Free
Ready for some extra support?
Schedule your FREE coaching call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Those of us facing the common challenges of blending often feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or discouraged. It’s easy to drift into survival mode and settle for “not that bad.”
In this episode, we'll share a clear plan to move forward in a simple way that's not about the pressure of big, dramatic New Year's resolutions.  
Here's the truth: transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and there are no easy fixes to the complex dynamics stepfamilies face. But change can happen with small, faithful shifts practiced over time. 
You'll Discover:
The difference between information vs. transformation and why “insight without action” keeps couples stuck 
How to set process goals (not vague intentions), and capture the “gold nuggets” you want to apply to your family's current struggles 
How to “work your plan” and experience real WINS in 2026!
Resources from this Episode:
CLICK HERE to schedule your FREE coaching call with us
CLICK HERE to learn more about the Blending Together Community
Find your Focus & Choose your Path:
Bonding:
For specific episodes on building healthy Bonds, CLICK HERE
Building Love Together in Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman
Understanding Kids' Perspectives:
For specific episodes to gain insight & support your kids, CLICK HERE
In Their Shoes: Helping Parents Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce by Lauren Reitsema
Safeguarding your Relationship / Marriage:
For specific episodes to grow a deeper connection and reduce conflict, CLICK HERE
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts: Nine Questions to Ask Before -- and After -- You Remarry by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrot
Parenting  & Stepparenting:
For specific episodes to develop your parenting partnership and align family expectations, CLICK HERE
Stepparenting:  Keeping It Sane by Dr. Charles Fay
Parenting Under Fire: How to Communicate with Your Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant Child by Dr. Amy J.L. Baker
Effective Co-Parenting:
For specific episodes to discover best practices and improve cooperation between homes, CLICK HERE
CoParenting Works!  Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce By Tammy Daughtry

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We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share
Ready for some extra support?
We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call
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Do you ever spend time reminiscing?
We seem to think back a lot from our current empty next vantage point.  It can be great to recall some of those funny moments in our history.  And it's meaningful when we recount the tough seasons we've endured together as well.
As we head into the holidays, we thought it would be fun to pull an interview with our kids out of the archives. So, in this episode, you'll listen in on a conversation with our family reminiscing over some of the ups and downs of our Holiday experiences over the past 20+ years. 
We wonder if it might stir up a bit of hope for your own future as you hear the authenticity straight from all three of our adult children.  We've experienced some high points and low points as a family over the years — and your family will too.  But as you navigate it together, we believe you can experience closeness, gratitude, and joy as a family.  We hope our discussion blesses you this season.
In this episode, you'll discover how our kids answered these questions as they share their holiday experiences living in our blended family:
What are your favorite memories (including funny ones)?
What might have been a negative experience for you?
What things made you feel sad, annoyed, or frustrated?
What are you grateful for?
What do you wish we (as parents) might have done differently?
PLUS you'll catch some of their encouragements for YOU!
Resources from this Episode:
Episodes that focus on Kid's Perspectives:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/podcast/category/Kid%27s+Perspectives/#filter
Episode 71: How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
Episode 10. 8 Practical Tips for a Successful Holiday Season
Episode 149. How to "Blend" Holiday Traditions and Create Meaningful Connection this Season 
Episode 151. What Has The Potential to Steal Your Joy - And How You Can Hold Onto It  (Part 1)
Episode 171.  How to Experience More Fun, Connection, and Joy this Holiday Season [with Rich and Stacy] 
Episode 173. Expert Guidance for Holiday Success [with Lauren Reitsema & Joneen Mackenzie]
Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide:  Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse
Episode 224. Holiday Negotiations That Work:  5 Tips to Reduce Tension and Disappointment  
Ready for some extra support?
We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession