Mom and Mind

• 453: Next-Gen Doulas: Mentorship in a Changing Maternal Healthcare Landscape with Jacquelyn Clemmons

  Today’s guest shares her work in mentoring the next generation of doulas and helping maternal healthcare professionals balance the heart of their work with sustainable business practices. We also discuss Medicaid, systemic barriers to care, and systemic barriers that prevent some populations from accessing doula services. Join us to learn more! Jacquelyn Clemmons is a veteran birth and postpartum doula, trainer, and mentor with over 20 years of experience serving diverse, intercultural families. She is the author of A Doula's Guide to Improving Maternal Health for BIPOC Women  and is the producer of the short film, Jazz and the Blues. Jacquelyn is a leading advocate for culturally competent care and a passionate supporter of doula services for all women. Through her Intrinsic Doula Design™ framework, she empowers doulas to build authentic, thriving businesses while transforming the families they serve.  Show Highlights: Jacquelyn’s journey into doula work Jacquelyn’s framework, Intrinsic Doula Design™  The shift in doula work in 2020 Understanding the basics of business development is a big piece of doula work. The importance of a sustainable pricing model from the beginning Jacquelyn’s work as an advocate in Oregon Sustainable doulas help to stimulate local economies. Medicaid reimbursements for doula care are up to $3500 in the state of WA, which is leading the way. (OR and CA are close behind.) Hospitals’ greed—-watch out for it! What can you do? Advocate for yourself by always asking, “Can you please document that in my chart?” (Hospitals speak the language of liability.) Jacquelyn’s film project, Jazz and the Blues (See the trailer at okionu.app.) The need for comprehensive support for families, even those with good family support Jacquelyn’s book, A Doula's Guide to Improving Maternal Health for BIPOC Women  A well-matched doula can be a strong support for maternal mental health. The need for cultural respect and well-matched core values Resources: Connect with Jacquelyn Clemmons: Website, Instagram, and A Doula's Guide to Improving Maternal Health for BIPOC Women  Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 452: Behind The Sessions: 2 am Pep Talk Pt. 4 - Hope For the Morning

  This is the final episode of the 4-part series, 2 am Pep Talks. You can check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 by clicking these links. Today’s episode is all about hope! It is essential to understand that this season of early morning wake-up times will pass. Sleeping through the night again will happen for you, even though you may wonder now if you will ever sleep enough to feel like yourself again. A perinatal mood and anxiety disorder can increase the likelihood of thoughts filled with self-judgment, negativity, and hopelessness. Having to attend to the middle-of-the-night details of infant care can, even without PMADs, leave you feeling wrung out, tired, and isolated. It’s hard to maintain hope that this phase will shift when you are in the middle of it. Believe me, with time, practice, and support, everything will get easier, but it’s often difficult to see through to the other side. Join me for today’s discussion. Show Highlights: Identify one thing you are looking forward to in the morning–even if it’s just that first cup of coffee! Nighttime care can feel monotonous and never-ending. Look at all the things you’ve learned! Take encouragement from other moms who can validate your experiences. Learn to validate your own feelings. Resilience and growth are yours to claim and honor. Tips for that middle-of-the-night time: Use visualizations and affirmations. Assure yourself that you are learning, shifting, and growing. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing better than you think! Resources: Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 451: Maternal Ambivalence: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood with Margo Lowy, Ph.D.

  Today’s topic centers around a book written by my guest, Dr. Margo Lowy. She has researched and written about maternal ambivalence, including how to understand it and why it remains a taboo subject. We will discuss destigmatizing uncomfortable feelings and normalize the understanding that motherhood is not “all or nothing.” We’ll cover the darker emotions of anger, guilt, and resentment, and we'll refute the myth of “the perfect mother” and recognize that motherhood can be viewed in different ways. Join us to learn more! Dr. Margo Lowy is a psychotherapist specializing in mothering. She is the author of Maternal Ambivalence: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood and her previous book, The Maternal Experience: Encounters with Ambivalence and Love. Dr. Lowy earned her doctorate from the University of South Wales in Sydney, Australia, and she has spoken on maternal ambivalence at universities and in media interviews worldwide. She is a columnist for Psychology Today, a member of PEN America, and a former advisor to the founder of the Australian Jewish Fertility Network (AJFN). As a mom of three adult children, she makes her home in NYC with her husband.  Show Highlights: Understanding maternal ambivalence and ALL the associated emotions Motherhood, at its essence, involves complicated feelings. Unrealistic expectations of mothers In motherhood, we ONLY learn by making mistakes and repairing them. Mothering means we make mistakes and learn from them. Perfection is an impossible, rigid goal; we need humor and laughter in motherhood. Children seeing us encounter challenges and NOT being perfect Importance of discernment in social media messages Finding your team and community Emulating our mothers vs. finding our own mothering style  When it’s hard to give yourself a pat on the back Understanding the value of difficult emotions Indicators of maternal ambivalence An example of advocating for YOUR motherhood journey Dr. Lowy’s practical advice to mothers Resources: Connect with Dr. Margo Lowy  Website, Instagram Dr. Lowy’s Books  Maternal Ambivalence: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood The Maternal Experience: Encounters with Ambivalence and Love Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 450: Personal Story and Insights on Queer Family Building, Infertility and Trauma

  I’m honored to interview Jaimie Kelton for today’s episode. She shares interesting parts of her journey as a queer parent, discusses elements of queer family building, and opens up about her three-year infertility journey as a queer woman. Her motherhood story includes birth trauma and postpartum anxiety. As a podcast host, Jaimie explains how hearing from the guests on her show has helped her on her healing journey.  Jaimie Kelton hosts The Queer Family Podcast, an award-winning show that uplifts and normalizes LGBTQIA+ families by sharing real, candid, and often hilarious stories about queer family building. She is a Webby Honoree and was named one of GO Magazine’s “100 Women We Love.” Jaimie has also been named one of Podcast Magazine’s “Top 50 Moms in Podcasting.” Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, People, Parents Magazine, and more. She is the co-author of If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We've Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family. A longtime performer, queer mom, and outspoken advocate, Jaimie brings humor and heart to every conversation about parenting, visibility, and justice for LGBTQ families.  Show Highlights: Jaimie’s family-building journey for her and her wife to have two children, making a lot of decisions quickly The logistics of each of them carrying a child, which meant multiple IUI and IVF cycles for Jaimie to get pregnant Switching doctors and clinics: why it was refreshing to change things up Differences in clinics for LGBTQIA+ families and non-LGBTQIA+ families Jaimie’s philosophy of “gay drafting”and how it works for queer families The not-so-simple process of filling out paperwork for their babies’ birth certificates Jaimie’s relatively easy pregnancy and the traumatic birth of her son via emergency C-section Postpartum struggles with severe anxiety and fears about her son dying Feeling “out of control” and stuck when you know you should be grateful Parenting with “a little more than normal” worry and fears Jaimie’s podcast topics, which allow her to learn and experience healing from hearing other people’s stories Resources: Connect with Jaimie Kelton: Website, Instagram, TikTok, The Queer Family Podcast, and If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We've Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 449: Behind the Sessions: 2 am Pep Talk, Part 3: Middle-of-the-Night Self-Care

  In Part 1 of this series, we discussed how heavy and burdensome things can feel in the middle of the night when you are alone with your baby, struggling to function and feeling exhausted.  In Part 2, we ventured into what it’s like when anxiety and intrusive thoughts pop up in the middle of the night. Today’s focus is on the importance of taking care of YOU, even in the middle of the night. You could feel “touched out” and overwhelmed, forgetting that you need self-care, too. You need to actively and intentionally have a plan. Let’s explore this topic further! Show Highlights: Your options in the middle of the night may be limited.  Think ahead and plan for water/snacks while taking care of the baby. Have them available nearby. Consider your personal comfort: blankets, socks, a sweater, or a small fan Plan for other options for music/noise besides doom-scrolling on your phone. After tending to the baby's needs, do some gentle stretches to help your neck, shoulders, and arms relax and release tension. “Are there small do-able things I can do to inject a little more self-care and attention into that hour or so in the middle of the night?” The magic in a slow, deep breath in and out to regulate your nervous system Feeling physically tired and “wired” at the same time Self-care is NOT selfish! Enlist your partner to help—before bedtime. (Dr. Kat shares tips about asking for help in the right way.) If you have that feeling of dread about the middle of the night, find one thing that brings you comfort and calm; add it into your middle-of-the-night practice. Consider using affirmations and meditation for grounding and self-compassion. Give yourself the same kindness that you would give to a friend.  Resources: Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media, including Instagram, Facebook, and other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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