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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Nina Badzin
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
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  • #143 - The Law of Rejection in Friendships with Harlan Cohen
    In this powerful episode of Dear Nina, I am joined by bestselling author Harlan Cohen to explore the truth about rejection, risk, and the myths we carry into adulthood about what friendship “should” look like. We dive into the Law of Rejection—a concept that can radically shift how you approach your relationships. Whether you're 18 or 88, accepting that we cannot control how others respond to our desire for friendship will serve you well. Friendship requires some risks, and knowing that rejection comes with the territory will allow you to take those risks.Whether you're always the planner, the first to text, or the one who feels left out of the group chat, this conversation will reframe your perspective and give you permission to stop taking every unmet friendship expectation so personally. Plus, you will love Harlan if you've never heard him before. He's the best, and he provided me a needed wake-up call around my own fears of rejection.TOPICS WE COVERED:Flipping our fears of being left out or let down in friendships into something more empoweringHow to stop testing your friends and start communicatingHarlan's “people, places, patience” formula for building connectionWhy putting yourself in “low-barrier” places is a lifelong strategy for connectionThe pressure we put on friends and ourselves to meet unspoken expectationsWhat to do if you're always the one initiating plansHarlan's full-circle roommate story that will make you smile and remind you that we never know what the other person in our "friendship narrative" is really thinking LINKS & RESOURCES:Harlan’s College Success Coaching Program Best First YearHarlan's episode with his freshman year roommateYou will love Harlan on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube!MEET HARLAN COHEN: Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts a popular podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  • #142 - Friendship, Phones, and The Problem of Distraction: Katherine Martinko
    What happens to our friendships when our phones are always within reach for us to "quickly check something" or "quickly answer a text?" It’s time to be honest about how available we are to everyone else while spending time with friends and how these distractions are harming our friendships. (I include myself in "we!") Is anyone else experiencing smart phone fatigue?I spoke with author, Katherine Martinko, whose book Childhood Unplugged and Substack newsletter, The Analog Family, focuses on how to take back our presence, one small shift at a time. This episode isn’t an anti-tech rant—it’s a nuanced conversation about building a life and fostering friendships offline with intentionality. We explore what’s lost when we let phones dominate our social time and what’s gained when we reclaim our attention and presence. All issues I need as much help with as anyone else!TOPICS WE COVERED:Screen time isn't just a kid issue—it's an adult problem, tooWhy undivided attention is one of the most generous gifts in friendshipBuilding a richer, more soul-nourishing life offline is the key to putting your phone down more often.Practical tips for reducing phone use during social gatheringsSmall changes that make a huge differenceWhy 7 minutes into a conversation might be the tipping point for going deeper (if you don’t pick up your phone!)What it really takes to “fix your analog life first”LINKS & RESOURCES:One of my favorite essays by Katherine: “Fix Your Analog Life First: It's a Prerequisite for Curbing Screen Time”Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious GenerationCal Newport’s work on digital minimalism and deep workSherry Turkle’s Alone TogetherErin Loechner’s The Opt-Out Family MEET KATHERINE MARTINKO: Katherine is a writer, editor, and speaker. She is the author of Childhood Unplugged: Practical Advice to Get Kids Off Screens and Find Balance (2023) and creator of a fast-growing Substack newsletter called The Analog Family. Katherine is a speaker on behalf of Jonathan Haidt's Anxious Generation campaign. She is a regular contributor to the Globe and Mail, Canada’s largest newspaper, and appears regularly on national radio, TV, talk shows, and podcasts, including CBC The National and Global TV. Katherine lives with her family in Ontario, Canada. See her website here.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  • #141 - The White Lotus Friendship Trio: Lessons for Your Real-Life Friendships: Rebekah Jacobs
    It's a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (Dear Nina's assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.A big point that Rebekah and I agree on: Not all friendship triangles are bad! YES, even this particular trio has us defending friendship triangles. No friendship "shape" is good or bad. How individuals behave creates healthy or unhealthy friendships!WHITE LOTUS INSPIRED FRIENDSHIP ADVICE WE DISCUSSED:Think carefully before sharing information with a friend. (Kate telling Laurie about Valentin)Be vulnerable sooner than you think. (Laurie didn't have to wait until the last night of the trip.)Be direct, not passive-aggressive. And don't assume friends can read your mind.Apologize and accept apologies when they're genuineFriends don't always have to be on the same page about everythingGive your friends grace to mess up/ let some things go Friends are not necessarily mirrors of each otherAllow friends to change and growKnow the difference between gossip vs. genuine care and concernGive old friendships some of the fun, ease, and benefit of the doubt we give fresh, new friendships (Chelsea/Chloe vs. the trio of old friends)Don't a friend to meet every needTruth daggers hurt. You can be honest with your friends without being cruel.LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:You're the Only One I Can Tell by Deborah TannenEpisode 136: Your 3-5 Closest FriendsALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  • #140 - Celebrating Friends' Birthdays and Your Own Birthday: April Challenge
    The Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for April is about the sometimes tricky topic of friends' birthdays. The challenge itself is simple and the easiest so far in 2025. I'm encouraging listeners to actively seek out friends' birthdays so you don't have to rely on social media to know the date. Of course the next step is to acknowledge friends on their birthdays, again not only relying solely social media. The rest of the episode explores the emotional complexities surrounding birthdays, comparing how other friends' birthdays get celebrated, and why I believe in planning your own parties. While talking I realized we need a part two of this topic because I introduced many more questions than answers. I'd love to hear your thoughts and if celebrating friends' birthdays and your own brings up any feelings. I definitely shared some! Reach out any time at [email protected] or anonymously here. Find the past friendship challenges here. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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  • #139 - How to Start a Podcast: An introduction
    Welcome to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. I've been writing about friendship for over 10 years and podcasting about it for almost four. This episode on how to start a podcast might not be for you. So, send it to your friend who has been thinking about starting a podcast! I break down the process, explaining each aspect from concept, podcast art, music, format, equipment, recording, editing, hosting your episodes, marketing, realistic expectations for your friends' interest, realistic exceptions for how much a guest will share. All in less than 35 minutes! Links to everything I mentioned in the episode:My podcast strategy sessions: Here you go!Podcast art and episode graphics: Canva.com Basic equipment: Microphone, mic arm, headphones, Equipment I added later: mixer , camera, streaming light Recording, editing, and social media clips: Riverside.fmMy favorite editing software: DescriptSound cleanup: Auphonic.comA hosting suggestion(my first host)---BuzzsproutAnother hosting suggestion (my current host)--RedCircleOther hosting suggestions: Spotify for Creators, Substack ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is THE podcast for nuanced advice about managing the ups and downs of friendship. As seen in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Time Magazine, and elsewhere, listeners appreciate Nina's practical take on friendship issues. Are you the friend who ALWAYS reaches out first? Or is your friend more invested in the friendship than you are? Why didn't your friend text you back? How do you take a casual friendship to the next level? These questions come up no matter your age and background. Friendship is tricky, even for grownups. Since 2014, Nina Badzin has been fostering discussions about the nitty gritty of adult friendships with sensitivity and practicality in her friendship advice column. Friendship is an endless, timeless, fascinating topic, and the more anonymous letters she receives, the more she learns about being a better friend and having better friends. Nina loves hearing from readers and listeners. Her work on friendship is meant to be a conversation, and she hopes you will share your thoughts with her and with each other.CONNECT WITH NINA ON ALL THINGS FRIENDSHIP:"Conversations About Friendship" the Substack newsletter about friendship & more is at dearnina.substack.comInstagram & TikTok  @dearninafriendshipJOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group by searching "Dear Nina: The Group"All links: linktr.ee/ninabadzin
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