Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

• #145 - Rules For Supporting Your Single Friends

  Meghan Keane, author of Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner, says one of the top complaints single people have about their married friends is that they feel like a problem to be solved. Another is that their dating lives are the sole focus of a married friend’s attention. Meghan joins me to unpack “singlism,” the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways society sidelines single adults. We discuss concrete steps couples can use to include their single friends, the reality of friendship after life transitions, and good basic social kindnesses everyone can use for ALL of their friendships. Whether you’re partnered or single, this conversation will sharpen your friendship skills and remind you that friends like to be asked about all aspects of their lives (not just their dating lives, their "mom life," their careers, and so on).HIGHLIGHTSHow singlism, a term coined by Dr. Bella DePaulo, is often based in myths and harmful stereotypesWhy singleness isn't something to be solved by a partnered friendsRules for married/partners friends when it comes to their single friends (don't treat dating life as entertainment, help with mundane life tasks, celebrate accomplishments, hang out one on one, include in larger plans).Why working through conflict is a sign of a deep friendshipWhat married people can learn from single people about maintaining strong social tiesLINKS & RESOURCESMeghan's book, Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life PartnerFind Meghan on Instagram @damekeaneWe referred to previous Dear Nina episodes with Dr. Marisa Franco, Gretchen Rubin, and Ruchi KovalMEET MEGHAN KEANEMeghan Keane is the founder and supervising editor for NPR's Life Kit, which brings listeners advice and actionable information about personal finances, health, parenting, relationships and more. She is responsible for the editorial vision of Life Kit, which aims to serve NPR's larger mission of public service. Prior to founding Life Kit, Keane was a producer for NPR's award winning podcast Invisibilia. There, she produced long form stories about understanding human behavior and the invisible forces that shape our lives. She reported stories about the intersection of positivity, grief, and Disneyland and another story about a woman obsessed with her daydream world. Keane is also a founding producer of NPR's TED Radio Hour, which has consistently been one of NPR's top podcasts since its debut. Keane holds a B.S. journalism degree from Emerson College and is a native of the Washington, D.C. area.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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• #144 - The Secret Power of Changing the Venue in Your Friendship: May Challenge

  Whether you’re hoping to upgrade a casual acquaintance, breathe life into a longstanding friendship, or accommodate a friend whose season of life recently shifted, a venue swap can work magic without big declarations or heavy planning.Welcome to the Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for May: Pick a newer friend or an old friend you'd like to feel closer to and initiate a change in where (or how) you hang out.Do you normally text, but never talk on the phone? Try a call! Do you walk once in awhile, but never go out for lunch? Suggest a new restaurant in town. I provide more ideas in the episode PLUS all the reasons why a venue change is so powerful for deepening new friendships and revitalizing old ones.Ready to try this powerful friendship "upgrade?" Hit play, choose your venue swap, and let me know how it goes!LINKS & RESOURCESJoin the Dear Nina Facebook Community to discuss wins and struggles from all the monthly challenges.Previous Monthly Challenges (Jan–Apr 2025) are all linked at dearnina.substack.com. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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• #143 - The Law of Rejection in Friendships with Harlan Cohen

  In this powerful episode of Dear Nina, I am joined by bestselling author Harlan Cohen to explore the truth about rejection, risk, and the myths we carry into adulthood about what friendship “should” look like. We dive into the Law of Rejection—a concept that can radically shift how you approach your relationships. Whether you're 18 or 88, accepting that we cannot control how others respond to our desire for friendship will serve you well. Friendship requires some risks, and knowing that rejection comes with the territory will allow you to take those risks.Whether you're always the planner, the first to text, or the one who feels left out of the group chat, this conversation will reframe your perspective and give you permission to stop taking every unmet friendship expectation so personally. Plus, you will love Harlan if you've never heard him before. He's the best, and he provided me a needed wake-up call around my own fears of rejection.TOPICS WE COVERED:Flipping our fears of being left out or let down in friendships into something more empoweringHow to stop testing your friends and start communicatingHarlan's “people, places, patience” formula for building connectionWhy putting yourself in “low-barrier” places is a lifelong strategy for connectionThe pressure we put on friends and ourselves to meet unspoken expectationsWhat to do if you're always the one initiating plansHarlan's full-circle roommate story that will make you smile and remind you that we never know what the other person in our "friendship narrative" is really thinking LINKS & RESOURCES:Harlan’s College Success Coaching Program Best First YearHarlan's episode with his freshman year roommateYou will love Harlan on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube!MEET HARLAN COHEN: Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts a popular podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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• #142 - Friendship, Phones, and The Problem of Distraction: Katherine Martinko

  What happens to our friendships when our phones are always within reach for us to "quickly check something" or "quickly answer a text?" It’s time to be honest about how available we are to everyone else while spending time with friends and how these distractions are harming our friendships. (I include myself in "we!") Is anyone else experiencing smart phone fatigue?I spoke with author, Katherine Martinko, whose book Childhood Unplugged and Substack newsletter, The Analog Family, focuses on how to take back our presence, one small shift at a time. This episode isn’t an anti-tech rant—it’s a nuanced conversation about building a life and fostering friendships offline with intentionality. We explore what’s lost when we let phones dominate our social time and what’s gained when we reclaim our attention and presence. All issues I need as much help with as anyone else!TOPICS WE COVERED:Screen time isn't just a kid issue—it's an adult problem, tooWhy undivided attention is one of the most generous gifts in friendshipBuilding a richer, more soul-nourishing life offline is the key to putting your phone down more often.Practical tips for reducing phone use during social gatheringsSmall changes that make a huge differenceWhy 7 minutes into a conversation might be the tipping point for going deeper (if you don’t pick up your phone!)What it really takes to “fix your analog life first”LINKS & RESOURCES:One of my favorite essays by Katherine: “Fix Your Analog Life First: It's a Prerequisite for Curbing Screen Time”Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious GenerationCal Newport’s work on digital minimalism and deep workSherry Turkle’s Alone TogetherErin Loechner’s The Opt-Out Family MEET KATHERINE MARTINKO: Katherine is a writer, editor, and speaker. She is the author of Childhood Unplugged: Practical Advice to Get Kids Off Screens and Find Balance (2023) and creator of a fast-growing Substack newsletter called The Analog Family. Katherine is a speaker on behalf of Jonathan Haidt's Anxious Generation campaign. She is a regular contributor to the Globe and Mail, Canada’s largest newspaper, and appears regularly on national radio, TV, talk shows, and podcasts, including CBC The National and Global TV. Katherine lives with her family in Ontario, Canada. See her website here.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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• #141 - The White Lotus Friendship Trio: Lessons for Your Real-Life Friendships: Rebekah Jacobs

  It's a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (Dear Nina's assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.A big point that Rebekah and I agree on: Not all friendship triangles are bad! YES, even this particular trio has us defending friendship triangles. No friendship "shape" is good or bad. How individuals behave creates healthy or unhealthy friendships!WHITE LOTUS INSPIRED FRIENDSHIP ADVICE WE DISCUSSED:Think carefully before sharing information with a friend. (Kate telling Laurie about Valentin)Be vulnerable sooner than you think. (Laurie didn't have to wait until the last night of the trip.)Be direct, not passive-aggressive. And don't assume friends can read your mind.Apologize and accept apologies when they're genuineFriends don't always have to be on the same page about everythingGive your friends grace to mess up/ let some things go Friends are not necessarily mirrors of each otherAllow friends to change and growKnow the difference between gossip vs. genuine care and concernGive old friendships some of the fun, ease, and benefit of the doubt we give fresh, new friendships (Chelsea/Chloe vs. the trio of old friends)Don't a friend to meet every needTruth daggers hurt. You can be honest with your friends without being cruel.LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:You're the Only One I Can Tell by Deborah TannenEpisode 136: Your 3-5 Closest FriendsALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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