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Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

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Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
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  • Acceptance, Avoidance, and the Tolerations Between Them
    We’re revisiting a classic — and for longtime listeners, a foundational topic: the Tolerations List. These are the small, nagging things we put up with every day — the crooked picture, the squeaky door, the wrong clock time — that quietly drain our focus and energy. Pete and Nikki first talked about tolerations all the way back in episode 106, and a decade later, they’re still finding new lessons in this deceptively simple coaching exercise.In this episode, they explore how tolerations evolve over time and how ADHD brains are especially vulnerable to letting them pile up. Nikki brings fresh perspective from her early coaching school days, where the idea originated as a way to identify and release mental clutter. They dive into how tolerations become invisible over time — from broken stove knobs and unpainted bathrooms to window coverings that never got ordered. Together they unpack the emotional undercurrent of these seemingly minor annoyances: why we live with them, how we rationalize them, and what it means to decide which ones are worth fixing versus simply accepting.They also revisit one of their most endearing long-running debates: is it a toleration or a project? From broken dishwashers to cluttered garages, they draw the line between avoidance, acceptance, and intentional deferral. And, in true ADHD fashion, they discuss how everything feels urgent — until you realize that not everything is.By the end, Pete and Nikki offer a practical guide to managing tolerations using the GPS Planning color system: identifying red (urgent), green (important), and blue (non-urgent) tasks, and intentionally tackling the ones that genuinely lighten your cognitive load. You’ll learn how to make the invisible visible, how to reclaim small pockets of energy, and how to let go — compassionately — of the things that no longer deserve your bandwidth.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:23) - Support the Show on Patreon! (02:50) - Tolerations (21:53) - Tracking and Prioritizing Tolerations ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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  • The Introvert’s Guide to Finding Your People with Ky Wescott
    This week, we’re talking about what it means to be both introverted and ADHD, and how those two identities can collide—or beautifully harmonize—when you finally understand yourself. Our guest is Kyrus Keenan Westcott, better known as Ky, the creator behind The Vibe With Ky. With more than 1.5 million followers across TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, Ky has become a leading voice for ADHD awareness, mental health, and the art of adulting without apology.Ky joins Pete and Nikki to share his story of a late ADHD diagnosis at age 35—how it reshaped his understanding of his past, and how he processed it through stages of grief, anger, and acceptance. We talk about what it means to find peace after years of wondering, “If I had only known sooner.”Then we dig into introversion. Ky helps us debunk the myths—no, being an introvert doesn’t mean you hate people, and it’s not the same as social anxiety. It’s about energy: how you spend it, how you recover it, and how to protect it through healthy boundaries. From managing “introvert guilt” to learning the beauty of traveling solo and saying no without shame, Ky brings humor and humanity to the experience of living quietly in a loud world.Oh, and yes—there’s Gilmore Girls talk. Plus, Ky reveals his brand-new fragrance collaboration: “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”, a cherry-pie-and-cinnamon scent honoring the spirit of adult ADHD.If you’ve ever wrestled with the feeling that you’re “too quiet,” “too tired,” or “too late,” this episode will remind you that your timing and your energy are perfect—just the way they are.Links & NotesWhy Did I Walk Into This Room? collaboration with The Vibe With KyThe Vibe With KySupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:40) - Introducing Kyrus Keenan Wescott (11:42) - Introversion (36:14) - Ky's ADHD Fragrance! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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  • The Cycle of Accountability: Reclaiming Presence with Dr. Nachi Felt
    When Dr. Nachi Felt first joined us, he introduced two big ideas that stuck with a lot of listeners—the Cycle of Ambiguity and the Cycle of Agency. Those conversations gave language to what so many of us experience every day with ADHD: the frustration of getting stuck, and the relief that comes when we finally start moving again.This time, Nachi is back to take the next step forward with something new: the Cycle of Accountability. It’s not about guilt or discipline or “holding yourself to higher standards.” It’s about what happens when you stop treating accountability like punishment and start seeing it as connection—to your values, to your sense of purpose, to the people who matter to you.Together, we dig into how meaning drives motivation for ADHD brains, why avoidance feels so sneaky and familiar, and how the smallest acts of self-acceptance can spark real change. Along the way, Nachi talks about trauma, growth, and what it means to finally believe that you matter enough to take ownership of your own story.Links & NotesClearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt • Sign up and get the introduction to the new book right now!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:12) - Support the Show: Https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:04) - Introducing Dr. Nachi Felt (04:08) - The Cycle of Ambiguity (22:10) - The Cycle of Accountability (44:21) - Clearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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  • Future You is Counting On You with James Ochoa
    We love to say it: “Your future self will thank you.” It’s a mantra for hopeful planning, a reminder that the effort you put in now will pay off later. But for people with ADHD, that phrase can land like a challenge you keep failing to meet — because the gap between Now You and Future You can feel impossibly wide.This week, we welcome back our friend James Ochoa, licensed professional counselor, author of Focused Forward, and creator of the new reflective tool 11Q Your ADHD. Together, we’re digging into what makes long-term planning feel so fraught for ADHD brains — and how we can reconnect with the version of ourselves we’re trying to help.We’ll talk about the emotional weight of goal-setting, how perfectionism sabotages progress, and why redefining responsibility as self-support — not pressure — changes everything. James highlights how planning isn’t about control or productivity; it’s about compassion. When you treat “future you” like someone worth caring for, you create the emotional safety that makes real progress possible.We also explore practical scaffolding: tools, community, and systems that “have your back” when motivation dips — because ADHD management isn’t a solo project. Whether you’re learning to forgive past missteps or just trying to make tomorrow a little easier, this conversation will help you find hope and grace in the small choices that compound over time.And stay tuned — James introduces his new project, 11Q Your ADHD, a reflective experience designed to help you strengthen your internal guidance system and cultivate a kinder, more curious relationship with yourself.Future You isn’t a stranger. They’re someone you can start taking care of — today.Links & Notes11Q Your ADHD - Free Vision Exercise | James OchoaSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:59) - Support the Show at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (01:43) - Unapologetically ADHD is OUT! (02:54) - Introducing James Ochoa (05:13) - Visualizing Your Future Self (16:06) - A Sidebar on Trust (38:19) - 11Q Your ADHD ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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  • From Shame to Strategy: Alan Brown on Advocacy After Diagnosis
    In 1992, a struggling advertising executive in Manhattan walked into his Upper East Side doctor's office with what he thought might be a revelation. His boss had just been diagnosed with ADHD, and the symptoms—the scattered thinking, the time that evaporated, the constant feeling of running to catch up—sounded eerily familiar. The doctor listened, nodded, and delivered his professional opinion: "ADD is a myth created by the media. You just need to do more crossword puzzles."Alan Brown took that advice seriously. For five years, he became exceptional at the New York Times crossword puzzle—almost able to complete the notoriously difficult Saturday edition. His ADHD, however, remained completely uncured.This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Alan Brown—now known as the ADD Crusher—returns after nine years to unpack a question that haunts nearly everyone with ADHD after diagnosis: Now what?Because here's what nobody tells you: getting diagnosed is the easy part. The hard part is learning to ask for what you need without drowning in shame. The hard part is figuring out how to advocate for yourself when the very act of asking feels like admitting defeat.Alan walks us through a discovery that transformed his career: the moment he refused a shared office space and, instead of being fired or labeled difficult, ended up with a private office overlooking lower Manhattan. It wasn't magic. It wasn't luck. It was understanding something fundamental about advocacy that most people miss entirely.The conversation reveals two deceptively simple mindset shifts that unlock the door to effective self-advocacy. The first: replacing "I suck at this" with "I'm trying." The second: swapping "I should be able to" with "I am willing to." These aren't just feel-good affirmations—they're the difference between staying stuck and making progress.But there's a deeper pattern here in the concept of "expansionist thinking"—the ADHD superpower of seeing connections and possibilities everywhere—and how it becomes weaponized against us. One small failure explodes into "I suck at everything." One unmet expectation spirals into complete self-doubt. Understanding this pattern is the first step to interrupting it.Throughout the conversation, a central question emerges: When are you at your best? Not when do you think you should be at your best. Not when does everyone else seem to be at their best. When are you actually, genuinely at your best? Answer that question honestly, and you've identified every accommodation you'll ever need.Alan shares his upcoming presentation at the ADHD conference in Kansas City—"Ten Simple Mindset Shifts for More Doing and Less Stressing"—and offers his free ebook at ADDCrusher.com: "Five Things We're Doing Every Day That Make Our ADHD Worse."Because it turns out the real question isn't whether you deserve accommodations. The real question is: what becomes possible when you finally ask for what you need?Links & NotesADDCrusher.comInternational Conference on ADHD 2025Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:09) - Support the show by becoming a Patron today! (02:07) - Introducing Alan Brown (02:39) - ADHD Advocacy (09:43) - The Meta Shame of Self-Advocacy (13:23) - Mindset (33:12) - How do you know what to ask for? (43:16) - Find Alan ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright offer support, life management strategies, and time and technology tips, dedicated to anyone looking to take control while living with ADHD.
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