Recovery Elevator

• RE 560: Stress Reduction That Works

  Today we have Dennis. He is 36 years old and lives near Vancouver, Canada. Dennis took his last drink on September 5th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – THE social app for sober people   There are some new alcohol-free options coming out. First is Wild AF created by Charlie Sheen and Luba Libations coming out of Wisconsin.   [03:20] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us an article about stress by Dr. Rebecca Harris   Most stress management advice gets it wrong. We're often told to focus inward and practice self-care like bubble baths, meditation and getting a massage. While these activities aren't harmful, they're missing something critical.   When we experience stress, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones. Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there's another key player: oxytocin. This is the connection chemical that is primed when we are stressed. Dr. Harris says that 58% of people stress out more when trying to control their stress. She says when researching workplace wellness programs, all of them fail to reduce stress with the exception of those programs that encourage employees to do charity or volunteer work. So, when you are feeling stressed, try finding a way to help someone else. Or a pet? Take a dog for a walk, or your neighbor's dog. Maybe it's the planet. Get a trash bag and walk up and down your road. Get on the phone with someone and don't talk about your problem but ask them how their life is going. The magic of an addiction is that it is trying to bring us back to our roots. When you start feeling the feels, start thinking not about how to make yourself feel better, but how you can make someone else feel better. [10:38] Paul introduces Dennis:   Dennis is 36 years old and lives outside of Vancouver, Canada. He is married and they have two kids and two dogs. For work, Dennis is a millwright working in industrial mechanics.   Dennis grew up with an alcoholic father. When he was younger, he was turned off by alcohol due to what it did to his family, but around age 15 he tried drinking and says it was a problem for him from the beginning. Some early experiences found him in precarious situations,   Dennis met his wife when he was 19 and they drank together until they had kids. His wife was able to cut back while Dennis was not. This put some stress on the marriage over time with his wife trying to give him reality checks that drove him to try and take breaks. Those would last nine or so months and then Dennis would think that he could moderate, but that never lasted long before he was back where he was or worse.   On the evening of September 5th, Dennis was very drunk and behaving poorly. Upon waking the next morning, Dennis passed out and cut his cheek. Instead of going to the hospital, he went to his tee time and played the worst round of golf ever, he says. He was dwelling on the incident and his drinking, realizing that he could not continue living this way.   The first week without alcohol Dennis just tried to stay busy while listening to other people's stories on the RE podcast. This helped him recognize that he couldn't do it alone and he began to burn the ships. This included a talk with his oldest son who told Dennis they were proud of him for wanting to get help.   After the first week, Dennis attended his first AA meeting. For the first time he felt proud of his decision to quit. He had a great conversation with his wife later when she told him she was proud of him. Dennis said since then his life has done a 180.   Dennis says this time he is doing more than just "not drinking". He is exercising, working on being more present, attending AA and relearning his hobbies without alcohol. His goal is to be a better father, husband and person – and just a better version of himself.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this.   RE on Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE Merch RE YouTube  

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• RE 559: Recovery Achieved

  Today we have Robyn. She is 49 years old from Columbia, SC and took her last drink on June 30th, 2020.   This episode brought to you by:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   We are planting the seed early and inviting you to join us for our 7th annual Restore course coming January 2026. Registration opens Monday, December 1st.   [02:39] Thoughts from Paul:   We have all heard the word recovery, but what does that mean? And does it ever end? Paul recently came across a line he likes that says, "If substance use or drinking no longer interferes with your ability to live a productive and loving life, then recovery has been achieved."   Using the logic of this line, Paul shares with us several ways that we can see if recovery has been achieved. Maybe you'll have to (or get to) attend meetings or chats for the rest of your life or maybe your recovery has already been achieved. So now what?   A simple answer is don't go back to drinking but in addition to that, sticking with the pack or community that helped you achieve recovery in the first place is a good start.   [07:54] Paul introduces Robyn:   Robyn is 49 and she lives in Columbia, SC with her husband, stepdaughter and two pit bulls. She is an office manager for a transportation company and enjoys reading, playing games and spending time with her family. Robyn was previously interviewed on episode 306.   Robyn grew up very shy and quiet and never really felt she fit in. The desire to rebel was building up and when she moved from Maine to South Carolina towards the end of high school, she viewed it as an opportunity to try new things including alcohol and other drugs.   After graduating high school, Robyn met someone and ended up getting married at the age of 18. She didn't realize the issues he had, and it was her first exposure to an abusive relationship with an addict.   Fortunately, she was able to escape that relationship but jumped right into another one that she considers her first real relationship. Their drinking looked normal for their age but over time, it started to create cracks in their relationship, and they split up soon after moving away from friends and family.   Feeling abandoned again and not knowing anyone, Robyn started going out and meeting people at bars alone after work. The relationships she had were with others who partied like she did, which helped her ignore the addictions that were creeping in. Her codependent nature found her feeling stuck in another abusive relationship, but over time she was able to start pulling away and made attempts to regulate her drinking.   After their break-up, Robyn began a close friendship with a friend from work. With his influence and help, she began to explore her traumas and started to organically cut back on her drinking as he rarely drank. They eventually began a relationship, and Robyn happily assumed the role of stepmother to his two children. She still drank, but it looked very different, and "mommy wine culture" made it seem ok.   After the sudden death of Robyn's mother, she took on the role of caretaker to her stepfather. This meant helping him with his grief and moving him closer to her. The drinking was beginning to become unmanageable. In September 2017, she discovered the upside of quitting drinking through a Google search that led her to Holly Whittaker and Annie Grace.   Upon discovering that going alcohol free could be a good thing, Robyn began to read a lot of quit lit and found podcasts. She told her husband about her struggles and felt a weight lift immediately. A few months later she joined Café RE and being part of a community was life changing. There were several stops and starts and she almost gave up quitting just before the announcement of the first Ditching the Booze course. That was the fuel Robyn needed to try again.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE on Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

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• RE 558: Nothing Gets Worse

  Today we have Josh. He is 48 years old, from Sarasota, FL and took his last drink of alcohol on September 23rd, 2023.   This episode brought to you by:   Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people.   This is the last week to sign up for Café RE during Sober October. For the next four days when you join, you will receive a free month!     [02:28] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul was having a talk with his good friend Dusty the other day and he mentioned that when he quit drinking, nothing got worse. Which leads us to the conclusion that everything got better?   This whole thing is complicated but also it isn't. We are sold a bundle of lies from big alcohol. It just takes time to get the message to all parts of us that when you quit drinking nothing will get worse. When you quit drinking, everything will get better. Finances improve, and we start to feel better about ourselves, just to name a few things.   The word alcohol in Arabic and other languages references alcohol as a spirit or living entity. Several languages in the East, alcohol is literally translated into "mind and body eating spirit". Nothing will get worse when you quit drinking, and to flip it, everything will get better when you're not consuming a body and mind eating spirit.     [08:45] Paul introduces Josh:   Josh is 48 and lives in Sarasota, FL. He is married with three children, he works in sales and marketing for a wellness company which he enjoys and for fun he enjoys cooking and spending time with his family.   Josh never had any alcohol until he was 20 years old. It wasn't an issue for him for a very long time until it began creeping up on him shortly before COVID. Josh says it was around this time that he was having issues with his job and found himself drinking around the clock in order to cope with it.     During COVID it only got worse. Josh says there was a lot of internal conflict around his drinking, and he says he was drinking more than he was sober and the alcohol was always corrupting him. It was hard for him to stop on his own as he had become physically dependent on it.   Josh's wife gave him an ultimatum after his first attempt at sobriety didn't work and told him to go to inpatient treatment or they were done. Josh went, didn't take it seriously and only stayed four of the ten days because he was able to convince a doctor to let him leave early. Everything in Josh's life was hanging by a thread when he left for a work trip in Italy that ended up being his rock bottom moment.   Josh drank on the flight over and did not stop after he arrived. He missed the work event and was admitted to the hospital that evening. When he awoke, he had lost his job and proceeded to drown his sorrows with whiskey and trazodone. Josh's wife had found out about him going to the hospital and came to Italy without Josh knowing. She and their friend (who was a nurse) found Josh on the floor of his hotel room without a pulse and saved his life. Josh feels that was divine intervention.   Upon returning home, Josh attended a 30-day inpatient treatment where his life changed. He met other men that were going through treatment at the same time that helped him learn new skills that would help shape his life going forward. Josh always had a hard time asking for help so learning to surrender in all ways has been important to his healing.   Josh began to learn what a gift being present can be after spending so much of his life running from things. Josh is actively working on healing his relationship with his family and friends and is also beginning to explore his spiritual side.   Josh's parting piece of guidance: surrender and you have to be willing to do the hard work.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

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• RE 557: Why the Drinking?

  Today we have Lauren. She is 44 years old from Arroyo Grande, CA and took her last drink on April 26th, 2021.   This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored   Tonight, our four-week mindfulness course starts in Café RE at 7:30 EST. This is our fourth year doing the course and you're going to learn a lot about how to sit with those thoughts in the head. Specifically, the ones that tell you it's a good idea to drink and how to let them pass.   Paul's next book Dolce Vita will be coming out soon. Once we have a launch date, you all will be the first to know.   [03:22] Thoughts from Paul:   Why the drinking? Well, the better question is why the excess drinking? Why do you drink before you meet up with friends and continue drinking afterwards? Why do you drink after you tell yourself you're not drinking today? We may never 100% know why, but it's a good idea to have a simplified mission statement that you tell yourself when you feel the urge to drink.   A key to recovery is discovering the purpose that excessive drinking serves, the why. And then another important key is finding healthier ways to fill the role alcohol was playing. Paul shares that the fourth step of AA played a very helpful role in him learning his "whys".   Paul encourages listeners to explore within them what it is driving the drinking and then explore what makes them smile without the alcohol and do more of that.   [7:33] Paul introduces Lauren:   Lauren is 44 and lives in Arroyo Grande, CA. She is married and they have a 17-year-old son, a dog and a cat. Lauren works in public affairs and communications for a local college and for fun, they enjoy spending time on their boat at lakes.   Lauren had her first drink at a party when she was 16. She says she didn't go to a lot of parties so was excited when she was invited. Lauren was upset about something before going and had already made the plan to get drunk in order to change the way she was feeling. In college is where Lauren says her drinking really ramped up. The parties were fun, and Lauren would binge drink on weekends but did not drink during the week.   After graduation, Lauren began working as a TV news producer where drinking during the week became normal. It was around this time that Lauren met her husband. When he got a job out of town, Lauren chose to go with him and soon after became pregnant.   Lauren didn't drink while she was pregnant but definitely missed it. They had no support since they moved to a new place. After the baby came, Lauren started drinking again and this time it wasn't for fun, it was to cope. She made attempts to moderate, but the goalposts kept moving. When her husband confronted her about her drinking, she defensively began to hide it.   COVID came and Lauren says she lost accountability by not being able to go to work. Her first drinks would come earlier in the day and before long she was starting her mornings with a shot of vodka.   She kept her concerns about her drinking to herself, but it was starting to show enough for her husband to stage an intervention with her family. Lauren agreed to go to treatment and stayed for 40 days with an outpatient program afterward. For the first time, Lauren didn't feel alone and was determined to make sobriety work.   The first year of recovery, Lauren avoided anything that would jeopardize her sobriety and began acquiring tools to keep her sober. She read books, listened to podcasts, began exercising and found a therapist. By year three she had more confidence: went back to school and took on more responsibilities at work.   Since quitting drinking Lauren says that her family is closer than ever. Presence, patience and gratitude are huge things in Lauren's life now.   Lauren's parting piece of guidance: just try.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

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• RE 556: Accountability is Real

  Today we have Sue. She is 54 years old from Stewartville, MN and she took her last drink of alcohol on May 9th, 2023.   This episode brought to you by:   Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Next Monday, October 20th, we start our four-week mindfulness course in Café RE. It starts at 7:30pm Eastern and we hope to see you there!   [02:36] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that while visiting his parents in Colorado, he lost his wallet at a park. Thankfully, a high school friend's mom ended up being the one that found it. When he picked it up from her, she told him that her son is recently sober and gave Paul his phone number to reconnect.   Paul had recently tried to rejoin the fantasy football league he had previously been a part of and was denied re-entry. This brought up huge feelings of rejection reminiscent of his childhood. While on a retreat with his sober friend in Mexico, Paul found himself dwelling on the negative emotions when he caught himself looking at a beer a fellow diner was having. The thought that "one or two beers would make you feel better" came over him, but then he looked at his newly sober friend and reflected on the great talks of sobriety that they had shared, and the thoughts went away.   Reeling from this, Paul went outside, shook his head a few times and then was filled with a warm embrace by the universe knowing that his lost wallet put him in Mexico with his sober friend and everything ended up alright.   [07:36] Paul introduces Sue:   Sue is 54 years old and has two adult children and one granddaughter. She works as a housekeeper for a hospital at the Mayo Clinic and for fun she loves nature, animals, hikes, jet skiing, kayaking and birdwatching.   Sue's parents were both daily drinkers. Sue would sip her dads beer because she thought it was cool, but her first real drinking experience was when she stole some sloe gin from her parent's pantry at age 13 or 14.   In her teenage years she began to party a lot on the weekends. Sue was a shy girl, and drinking helped her open up and gave her the attention she craved. Her grades in school began to suffer because she was skipping a lot and Sue ended up unable to graduate.   Sue never thought her drinking was a problem even after getting in trouble for underage drinking. Her boyfriend was abusive, but due to her craving for love and attention, Sue kept going back to him. After a long breakup, he returned wanting to reunite, claiming he had changed. Soon Sue became pregnant, got married, quit drinking and focused on having a family.   Sue enjoyed being a mother. Her husband worked a lot, so she did a lot of the parenting on her own while working a full-time job. As the kids got older and were home less, Sue began to drink more. She tried to hide her drinking, but her kids began to notice. Sue and her husband were fighting a lot and eventually had a messy divorce in which her husband got custody, which was very hard on Sue.   Sue got remarried in 2015 and while she cut back a little, her husband started calling her out on how often she was drinking. This led to her hiding her drinking again and several hospitalizations over the next few years.   In 2017, after a hospitalization, Sue was able to get sober with the help of AA. She says complacency led to relapses. Her children had cut her off and there were multiple inpatient and outpatient attempts but nothing stuck until May 9th, 2023.   Sue says the difference this time is that she fully surrendered and is doing this for herself and not others. She checked herself Hazelden and dug into the work of loving herself again. She still stays active with that community and her AA group. Sue says her  spirituality comes from nature and her belief in prayer and hope.  She has been able to reconnect with her children over the past year and has plans to become a peer recovery specialist.   Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

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