Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

• 236. “She spent $5K behind my back. How can I trust her?”

  Alex (34) and Jackie (33) have been married for 11 years, raising four young kids while navigating a financial dynamic that’s been strained for nearly as long. Alex is meticulous and cautious — he’s tracked every expense since 2016 — while Jackie follows her instincts and believes God will provide. But when she secretly enrolled in a $5,000 coaching program and later pushed for a $16,000 photography course, Alex’s trust shattered. Now he feels like he’s carrying the entire financial load, while Jackie feels discouraged and untrusted. Their arguments spill into daily life, even in front of their kids. Can Ramit help them rebuild trust, confront their conflicting money beliefs, and finally create a system that brings peace instead of panic? In this episode we uncover: • Why Alex has tracked every dollar since 2016—and how control became his default coping strategy • Jackie’s belief that “money will come” and the role faith plays in her financial decisions • How a secret $5,000 coaching purchase shattered Alex’s sense of safety • The emotional toll of raising four young kids while constantly feeling financially behind • How Jackie’s childhood of scarcity and inconsistent money messages shaped her impulse-driven spending • How Alex’s upbringing around saving, stability, and tithing taught him to equate control with security • Why relying on miracles and unexpected windfalls creates a fragile financial foundation • Jackie’s desire to feel heard, supported, and validated—instead of managed • Why Alex feels lonely and burdened in the role of financial gatekeeper • How a shared money system can shift them from crisis-mode to long-term partnership • The first steps they take toward rebuilding trust, financial clarity, and a plan they can both commit to Chapters: (00:00:00) “Do you trust each other?” (00:17:40) “We had $300 and no plan” (00:29:15) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:37:15) “If we just made more, everything would change” (00:50:52) “I wasn’t taught to dream — just to survive” (00:58:53) “Hope isn’t a financial strategy” (01:07:33) “I want the positive behavior without the crisis” (01:16:36) “The house is on fire” (01:29:07) “That changes everything” (01:36:56) Where are they now? Alex and Jackie’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Gusto | Try Gusto at https://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 30% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching. Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 235. "Can we pay off this debt faster?" (Part 2)

  Imani (52) and Michael (65) return for Part 2—and this time, Ramit pushes them to find out how fast they can turn things around. After years of miscommunication, mounting debt, and emotional exhaustion, they’ve finally started tackling their finances together. But when Facet’s retirement scenarios reveal how long their money will really last, they’re forced to confront new tradeoffs: spend less now, retire later, or change their lifestyle entirely. Can Michael step up and lead? Can Imani release control and start dreaming again? Or will their old habits slow their progress before it even begins? A special thanks to Facet for sponsoring this episode. Right now, Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members. And if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days, they’ll add $300 to your brokerage account. Head to facet.com/ramit to see which membership—Core, Plus, or Complete—is right for you. (Ramit is not a member of Facet, and he has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome.) In this episode we uncover: • Why Michael finally decides to take ownership after decades of financial avoidance • The moment Imani says she’s “tapping out” if things don’t change • How they discover Michael’s electronics obsession is more than clutter—it’s avoidance • The shocking realization that their debt payments eat up one-third of their take-home pay • How selling off $7,000 of electronics became the turning point for their marriage • What it felt like for Imani to finally let go of control and let Michael lead • Why teamwork and a clear plan helped them pay off $6,000 in just four weeks • How both partners confront what “enough” really means • The couple’s new shared dream: retiring abroad and living a simpler, freer life Chapters: (00:00:03) “I’m angry at Michael, I’m angry at myself” (00:18:03) “I’ve lost the ability to dream” (00:34:45) “It’s gotta work” (00:40:17) “I got the fever to start selling stuff” (00:51:47) “I could see the cloud starting to separate” (01:06:29) “I feel excited, inspired, energized” (01:22:39) Where are they now? Imani and Michael’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Wispr Flow | Voice-to-text AI that turns speech into clear, polished writing in any app. Try it for free at https://wisprflow.ai/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and up to 50% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 234. "We have $100k+ in debt. Will we ever enjoy life?" (Part 1)

  Imani (52) and Michael (65) have been married for 24 years—and they’re drowning in nearly $126,000 of consumer debt despite earning over $250,000 a year. Imani, a disciplined attorney who tracks every dollar, feels trapped by Michael’s unchecked spending on electronics and his laid-back approach to money. She dreams of travel, freedom, and a life that finally feels generous, while he insists everything’s fine as long as the bills get paid. With resentment growing and Imani nearing her breaking point, Ramit challenges them to face the truth: Can they pay off their debt, rebuild trust, and start enjoying life again—or are they too stuck in old patterns to change? A special thanks to Facet for sponsoring this episode. Right now, Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members. And if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days, they’ll add $300 to your brokerage account. Head to facet.com/ramit to see which membership—Core, Plus, or Complete—is right for you. (Ramit is not a member of Facet, and he has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome.) In this episode we uncover: • Why Imani regrets combining finances after 20 years of marriage • How Michael’s promise to “put the money back” reveals a lifetime of avoidance • The stark contrast between Michael’s military discipline and total lack of structure at home • What happens when one partner outgrows the other in ambition, discipline, and self-development • Why Imani admits she’s embarrassed to be in massive debt at her age • Michael’s habit of buying cars and electronics to celebrate milestones • How their $268,000 income still leaves them feeling broke, anxious, and behind • Why Imani clings to control and spreadsheets while Michael tunes out completely • How both partners confront the question: Can they rebuild trust and create structure before it’s too late? Chapters: (00:00:00) “Did you go to Best Buy again?” (00:17:34) “I don’t think I’ve ever planned anything in my life” (00:24:43) “Every time we had a kid, he bought a car” (00:36:48) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:44:33) “We make way too much to be this stressed about money” (00:56:21) “I don’t want to do life by myself” (01:10:51) Can a couple this far apart still find common ground? This episode is brought to you by: Gusto | Try Gusto at https://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Notion | Try Notion, now with Notion Agent, at https://notion.com/ramit Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box — PLUS free Croissants in every box — at https://wildgrain.com/ramit LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Links mentioned in this episode • Join my Money Coaching program for monthly help: https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 233. “I save while she spends on vacations. Is this fair?”

  Samantha (36) and Kevin (41) have been together for seven years, but their financial lives couldn’t look more different. He’s a high earner with $800,000 in investments and a paid-down mortgage. She’s still carrying student loans, car payments, and lingering shame about being “behind.” While Kevin saves methodically for the future, Samantha prefers to spend on experiences—especially travel—leaving him questioning whether their financial priorities will ever align. Beneath the surface, neither of them has truly learned how to talk about money without shutting down. Can Ramit help them move from avoidance and resentment to shared goals and real plans for the future? A special thanks to Ultraspeaking, who worked with Samantha and Kevin to help them communicate more effectively as a couple. Ultraspeaking is the fastest and most effective way to become a great communicator. Learn more here. In this episode we uncover: • Why Samantha believes she’ll never be “financially good enough” for Kevin • How their shared avoidant tendencies have allowed them to avoid financial planning for years • How their unspoken expectations around “fairness” create tension • Samantha’s logic for not paying rent or mortgage • How Kevin’s quiet resentment built up after Samantha didn’t use the housing savings to pay down debt • The real cost of their “guilt-free” spending, including $15,000/year on vacations • Why Samantha still feels broke, despite earning $148,000 a year • Samantha’s fears about not meeting Kevin’s expectations in retirement • The stark contrast between their savings: Samantha has one month of expenses, Kevin has six • How Samantha inherited a “spend it if you have it” mindset from her parents • Kevin’s fear of loss from divorce and why he avoids fully committing financially • The role of therapy in helping them rebuild communication and trust Chapters: (00:00:00) “I’ll never be financially good enough for Kevin” (00:13:39) “I feel like I have no say because he owns the house” (00:27:08) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:37:44) “I still feel like I’m only making $50,000” (00:43:59) “Money burned a hole in my pocket” (01:03:09) “That’s the bed I made and I will lie in it” (01:08:25) “Closing doors is hard…but staying stuck is harder” (01:15:59) “It’s not about catching up — it’s about building together” (01:37:50) Where are they now? Samantha and Kevin’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: NetSuite | Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://netsuite.com/ramit Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

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• 232. “My husband gives me an allowance. I feel like a child.”

  Edward (38) and Ellen (30) live in Hawaii with their young daughter and a new baby on the way. With a net worth of over $2 million, their finances look strong on paper, but behind the scenes, their marriage is strained by control, fear, and trust issues around money. Edward manages every dollar, while Ellen has to ask for “permission” to spend, even on basic everyday items. He believes tight control protects their future, making her feel more like a child than a partner. As Edward grapples with his deep fear of losing everything, Ellen wants to step into her own financial power. Can they learn to trust each other and build a partnership where both voices are heard, or will control and fear continue to drive their financial decisions? In this episode we uncover: • Why Ellen calls their financial dynamic “like asking my dad for permission” • How Edward’s fear of poverty leads to hyper-control over their money • Why Edward compares their finances to the top 1% • Ellen’s $8,000 home birth decision • How Ellen avoids learning their finances to sidestep arguments • The emotional legacy of Edward’s childhood poverty and Ellen’s early financial security • Their definition of a “traditional marriage” • Why they fight about $20 face cream despite earning $28K/month • The weight of Edward’s “provider” identity • Their Hawaii “dream home” vs. the financial pressure it created • Their shared craving for safety and control • Ellen’s realization that she’s been playing financial defense instead of building real skills • Edward’s hope to teach their daughter financial independence Chapters: (00:00:00) “It feels like I’m asking for permission” (00:16:10) “I’m in charge of the budget” (00:23:09) “I had just come into a million dollars” (00:34:29) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:51:41) “I don’t think he trusts me at all” (00:56:49) “I will never be poor again” (01:07:01) “When do we get to live like we’re wealthy?” (01:17:38) “I shrink myself to please him” (01:39:10) Where are they now? Ellen and Edward’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you make good money but you haven’t taken a real vacation in years, I want to talk to you. I'm casting couples for a special episode of the podcast. Apply this week only at iwt.com/apply.

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