The Art of Manliness

The modern idea of retirement was built on a bet that turned out to be wrong. It assumed people would spend most of their lives working and only a relatively short period of time retired. Instead, many Americans now reach 65 healthy, active, and with an entire third of their life ahead of them. Yet we're still using a retirement model designed for a world in which old age was shorter and fewer people expected decades of life after leaving the workforce.
My guest says that outdated assumption creates some unfortunate unintended consequences. It causes people to stress excessively about money, postpone meaningful experiences with family and friends, and sometimes sacrifice the very things that make life worth living in the first place. He argues that by rethinking retirement — not necessarily eliminating it, but reimagining it — we can enjoy more of our lives now while actually feeling more secure about the future.
His name is Derek Coburn, and he's a financial advisor and the author of Let's Retire Retirement. Today on the show, Derek explains why the traditional retirement model came about, why it may no longer make sense for many people, and how working even a few years past 65 can dramatically change the math of retirement planning. We also discuss the surprising psychological challenges many people face after they stop working, why purpose matters more than leisure, and how thinking differently about retirement can free you up to spend more time on what matters most right now — whether that's traveling, strengthening your marriage, or making the most of the limited summers you have left with your kids.

Connect With Derek Coburn
Derek's website (including his retirement calculator)
Derek on IG

0:00 - Introduction
1:22 - The Outdated Origins of Retirement (Bismarck's 1889 Social Insurance Plan)
4:12 - Why the Traditional Retirement Model Creates Stress and Anxiety
6:13 - The "Arrival Fallacy" — Why Retirement Isn't What You Think It Will Be
8:42 - The Psychological Crisis of Stopping Work Cold Turkey
11:05 - The Math: How Working 10 More Years Cuts Your Savings Requirement by 96%
13:21 - Enjoying Life NOW Instead of Deferring It to Retirement
14:22 - Maximizing the Limited Summers You Have with Your Kids
19:48 - Sponsor Break
20:07 - What If You Hate Your Job? Find One You "Don't Hate"
22:37 - Side Hustles as an On-Ramp to Work You Love
24:09 - Physical Jobs and Mandatory Retirement — What Then?


See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We all want two things that can seem at odds with each other: to be our own person and to belong. We want to stand apart from the crowd, but we also want to be connected to it. When that balance gets out of whack, we either lose ourselves in tribalism or drift into isolation.
My guest today says many of the problems in modern life stem from our inability to hold these two impulses in tension. His name is Luke Burgis, and he’s the author of The One and the 99: Forging Identity in the Age of Social Contagion. Today on the show, Luke explains how becoming a true individual can give you the strength to be a part of a community. We discuss the difference between a solid self and a pseudo self — and what role families and rites of passage can play in moving us toward one or the other — why modern politics feels like a dysfunctional family, the dangers of performative religion, and much more.
Resources Related to the PodcastLuke’s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:
Episode #714: Why Do We Want What We Want?
Episode #910: Thick Desires, Political Atheism, and Living an Anti-Mimetic Life
The True Believer by Eric Hoffer
Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L’Amour
AoM Podcast #1,025: The Life and Legacy of Louis L’Amour
AoM article with L’Amour’s weekly to-do lists
AoM article and podcast about C.S. Lewis’ The Abolition of Man and the idea of objective value
The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich
The Quest for Community by Robert Nisbet
AoM Podcast #847: Overdoing Democracy
AoM Podcast #1,010: How to Resist Group Anxiety and Become a Differentiated Self
AoM Article: Becoming a Well-Differentiated Leader
Dying Breed article: A New Kind of Monasticism — The Power of Community to Shape the Soul
The Rule of St. Benedict

Connect With Luke Burgis
Luke’s website

Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/MANLINESS

Timestamps
0:00 Introduction
0:54 Guest Intro: Luke Burgis & The One and the 99
4:48 The Parable of the Lost Sheep & the Book's Framework
10:17 Defining the Self (vs. Identity & Soul)
14:37 The Pseudo Self Explained
19:40 How to Develop a Solid Self
25:35 Louis L'Amour & Education for a Solid Self
28:18 Curiositas vs. Studiositas (Ordered vs. Disordered Knowledge)
44:30 Tribalism, Politics, & the Pseudo Self
45:08 How Undifferentiation Fuels Political Dysfunction
51:13 Religion, Performative Piety & the Digital World
54:15 What Monasteries Teach Us About Community & Solid Selves

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Life rarely unfolds according to plan. A relationship implodes. A move or job change doesn't work out. Or you simply fail in a goal you've set for yourself.
My guest has spent almost two decades researching and field-testing how to get back on track when smaller slip-ups and larger upheavals knock you off course. His name is Steve Kamb, and he's the founder of Nerd Fitness and the author of How to Try Again: An Approachable Guide to Navigating Chaos and Making Change THAT STICKS. Today on the show, Steve shares practical principles for dealing with life's frustrating and demoralizing setbacks. We discuss why sometimes the best move is to pause rather than push harder, how to accept reality without resigning yourself to it, why treating change as an experiment can help you beat paralysis and take action, why you should treat consistency with your goals the way you do showering, and more.
Resources Related to the Podcast
Steve's previous appearances on the AoM podcast:
Episode #42: Level Up Your Life With Nerd Fitness & Steve Kamb
Episode #170: Level Up Your Life
Steve's AoM guest posts:
Don’t Be That Guy: The Taxonomy of Lousy Male Friends
How Superheroes, Movies, and Video Games Taught Me to Conquer Fear
Nerd Fitness
Museum of Failure
Sunday Firesides: Good Times Are Not Around the Corner (And That's Great News!)
Sunday Firesides: Treat Life Like an Experiment
"Lightning Fields" by the Killers

Connect With Steve Kamb
Steve's website
Steve on IG
Steve on LinkedIn
Steve on Substack

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Walking is one of the most powerful health tools we have. It improves cardiovascular fitness, boosts mood, sharpens cognition, and can even be a predictor of how well you'll age. But all those benefits depend on something we rarely think about until it starts hurting: our feet.
For many of us, walking is so automatic that we never consider the mechanics that make it possible. Yet the way we move, the shoes we wear, and the strength of the muscles in our feet can have a profound impact on how comfortably and efficiently we walk. When something goes wrong at our physical foundation, the effects can ripple upward, leading to pain not just in the feet, but in the knees, hips, and back.
My guest today is Dr. Milica McDowell, a physical therapist and the co-author of the new book Walk. Today on the show, Milica explains why walking speed may be a hidden vital sign, what gives you your signature walking style, and how to spot and address injury-inducing inefficiencies in your gait. We then talk about feet: whether you should worry about pronation, how to rehab plantar fasciitis — and no, it's not stretching — the best kind of shoes to wear, and much more.

Resources Related to the Podcast
AoM Article: Solvitur Ambulando — It Is Solved By Walking
AoM podcast episode with Manoush Zomorodi
AoM Article: I Started Taking a Walk Every Morning. Here’s What Happened to My Health
AoM Article: 20 Rules for Walking
AoM podcast episode with Matt Fitzgerald
Altra shoes
Vivobarefoot
Lems shoes (this is the pair Brett wears)
Tyr weightlifting shoe
Injinji toe socks
Toe spacer
Study on calf raise standards
Connect With Milica McDowell
Milica's website
Milica on IG

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Note: This is a rebroadcast.
A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world.
Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage.
My guest today didn’t want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he’s the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing “The Day Your Son Leaves Home” exercise. We then discuss how old Jon’s son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a “severing dinner” with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the “5 Shifts of Manhood.” Jon shares how moving his son’s focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son’s journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world.

Resources Related to the Podcast
AoM Article: The Importance of Fathers
AoM Article: The Importance of Male Rites of Passage
AoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the World
AoM Article & Podcast: Man’s Need for Ritual
AoM Series on the origins, elements, and future of manhood
AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in Mind
AoM Article: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up Well
James Hollis
AoM Article: Carry the Fire
Art of Manliness’ Carry the Fire Zippo Lighter
AoM Article: What Is Manliness?
AoM Podcast #527 With Richard Rohr
The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip and Dan Heath
The Way of Men by Jack Donovan
AoM Podcast #49 With Jack Donovan
AoM Series on the Four Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know
AoM Article: 80+ Quotes on Men & Manhood
Connect With Jon Tyson
Primal Path
Jon on Twitter
Jon on IG

0:00 Introduction
0:29 Guest Introduction: John Tyson & The Intentional Father
2:28 The Research on Fatherless Boys
4:54 What Men Lack Without a Rite of Passage
8:37 The "Day Your Son Leaves Home" Exercise
10:47 Building an Asset Map & Community of Fathers
13:37 The Severing Dinner with Mom
17:10 The Beach Initiation Ceremony at Age 13
20:42 Taking Your Son Back to Your Roots
28:14 The Five Shifts of Manhood
31:52 Daily Morning Talks, Books & Movies
42:32 Good Man vs. Good AT Being a Man
46:28 The Archetypes: Lover, Leader, Warrior, Brother, Sage
50:01 The Life Arc Interview
56:03 The Gap Year as the Ordeal
1:01:16 The Capstone Ceremony on the Camino de Santiago
1:04:44 Doing Something Similar for His Daughter
1:09:09 Key Principles Any Dad Can Start With Today
That's 17 — let me trim to the 12 most distinct:
0:00 Introduction & Why Rites of Passage Have Disappeared
2:28 The Research on Fatherless Boys
4:54 What Men Lack Without a Rite of Passage
8:37 The "Day Your Son Leaves Home" Exercise
13:37 The Severing Dinner & Beach Initiation Ceremony
20:42 Taking Your Son Back to Your Roots
28:14 The Five Shifts of Manhood
31:52 Daily Talks, Books & Movies
42:32 Good Man vs. Good at Being a Man
50:01 The Life Arc Interview
56:03 The Gap Year as the Ordeal
1:01:16 The Capstone Ceremony & Key Principles for Any Dad

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.