Love in Action

• Helping Leaders Embrace Authenticity and Purpose at Work with Dr. Jaime Goff

  Episode Recap This week on the podcast, I sat down with Dr. Jaime Goff — executive coach, therapist, and author of The Secure Leader. Our conversation goes deep into something many leaders feel but rarely explore: how our early attachment patterns quietly follow us into the workplace.    Dr. Jaime breaks attachment theory down into something extremely practical for leaders. At the core are two questions we all carry:  Am I worthy of connection? Can I trust others to show up for me?  Our answers tend to show up at work in three ways. One of those ways is that of a “secure leader”: Grounded, steady, and empowering — the hallmark of modern servant leadership.  Leaders who do the inner work of a Secure Leader create workplaces where people can flourish.    Guest Bio Dr. Jaime Goff is the founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC, where she specializes in helping leaders unlock their full potential through executive coaching, insightful workshops, and thought-provoking keynotes. Jaime holds a PhD in Couple and Family Therapy from Michigan State University and a graduate certificate in executive coaching from Southern Methodist University   Quotes:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”    Takeaways:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”    Timestamps:  00:02 Intro and podcast milestones  05:12 Meet Dr. Jaime Goff and her personal story  07:21 The “latchkey kid” upbringing and over-independence  10:55 Why she wrote The Secure Leader  13:26 Attachment theory explained  15:21 How unworthiness shapes controlling or approval-seeking leadership  18:50 Jaime’s aha moment as a young leader  21:34 Gaining awareness and deconstructing your story  24:07 Avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles  28:44 Trauma, triggers, and past patterns repeating at work  32:18 The cost of skipping inner work  37:49 First steps to becoming a secure leader  40:06 Where to take the Secure Leader style scan  41:37 Speed round  45:52 Jaime’s hope for more secure leadership  48:31 Leading with love and building self-worth  50:56 Final takeaway on moving slow to move fast  52:57 How to connect with Dr. Jaime Goff    Conclusion:  As we close this inspiring conversation, remember that real leadership begins within. When you commit to self-discovery, you build the foundation to lead others with empathy, purpose, and resilience. Growth is a lifelong journey where each step forward helps you make a positive impact on those around you. Lead with clarity, nurture meaningful connections, and watch your influence create ripples of transformation in your team and beyond.    Links/Resources:  Website (take the assessment)- https://drjaimegoff.com/   LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/   Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/   Email Dr. Goff: [email protected]       

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• Helping Leaders Embrace Authenticity and Purpose at Work with Jamie Goff

  Episode Recap This week on the podcast, I sat down with Dr. Jamie Goff — executive coach, therapist, and author of The Secure Leader. Our conversation goes deep into something many leaders feel but rarely explore: how our early attachment patterns quietly follow us into the workplace.    Jamie breaks attachment theory down into something extremely practical for leaders. At the core are two questions we all carry:  Am I worthy of connection? Can I trust others to show up for me?  Our answers tend to show up at work in three ways. One of those ways is that of a “secure leader”: Grounded, steady, and empowering — the hallmark of modern servant leadership.  Leaders who do the inner work of a Secure Leader create workplaces where people can flourish.    Guest Bio Dr. Jaime Goff is the founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC, where she specializes in helping leaders unlock their full potential through executive coaching, insightful workshops, and thought-provoking keynotes. Jaime holds a PhD in Couple and Family Therapy from Michigan State University and a graduate certificate in executive coaching from Southern Methodist University   Quotes:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”    Takeaways:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”    Timestamps:  00:02 Intro and podcast milestones  05:12 Meet Dr. Jamie Goff and her personal story  07:21 The “latchkey kid” upbringing and over-independence  10:55 Why she wrote The Secure Leader  13:26 Attachment theory explained  15:21 How unworthiness shapes controlling or approval-seeking leadership  18:50 Jamie’s aha moment as a young leader  21:34 Gaining awareness and deconstructing your story  24:07 Avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles  28:44 Trauma, triggers, and past patterns repeating at work  32:18 The cost of skipping inner work  37:49 First steps to becoming a secure leader  40:06 Where to take the Secure Leader style scan  41:37 Speed round  45:52 Jamie’s hope for more secure leadership  48:31 Leading with love and building self-worth  50:56 Final takeaway on moving slow to move fast  52:57 How to connect with Dr. Jamie Goff    Conclusion:  As we close this inspiring conversation, remember that real leadership begins within. When you commit to self-discovery, you build the foundation to lead others with empathy, purpose, and resilience. Growth is a lifelong journey where each step forward helps you make a positive impact on those around you. Lead with clarity, nurture meaningful connections, and watch your influence create ripples of transformation in your team and beyond.    Links/Resources:  Website (take the assessment)- https://drjaimegoff.com/   LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/   Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/   Email Dr. Goff: [email protected]       

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• Helping Leaders Embrace Authenticity and Purpose at Work with Jamie Goff

  This week on the podcast, I sat down with Dr. Jamie Goff — executive coach, therapist, and author of The Secure Leader. Our conversation goes deep into something many leaders feel but rarely explore: how our early attachment patterns quietly follow us into the workplace.    Jamie breaks attachment theory down into something extremely practical for leaders. At the core are two questions we all carry:  Am I worthy of connection? Can I trust others to show up for me?  Our answers tend to show up at work in three ways. One of those ways is that of a “secure leader”: Grounded, steady, and empowering — the hallmark of modern servant leadership.  Leaders who do the inner work of a Secure Leader create workplaces where people can flourish.    Bio Dr. Jaime Goff is the founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC, where she specializes in helping leaders unlock their full potential through executive coaching, insightful workshops, and thought-provoking keynotes. Jaime holds a PhD in Couple and Family Therapy from Michigan State University and a graduate certificate in executive coaching from Southern Methodist University   What if the way you were raised is quietly shaping the way you lead today? In this episode, Marcel Schwantes sits down with Dr. Jamie Goff, psychotherapist, executive coach, and author of The Secure Leader, to explore how attachment theory, trauma, and our earliest relationship patterns influence our leadership style. Jamie reveals why even high-performing leaders can fall into controlling behaviors or approval-seeking patterns, and how doing the inner work of self-awareness and emotional regulation can transform anyone into a secure, grounded, people-first leader.  Summary:  Dr. Jamie Goff joins the show to explain how childhood attachment, emotional wiring, and early relational experiences shape the stories leaders live out today. She breaks down avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles and shares how her own upbringing led to over-independence, self-protection, and control until a courageous team member helped her see her blind spot. Jamie details why trauma, triggers, and old patterns resurface in the workplace and offers practical steps for becoming a more secure leader, including self-awareness, deconstructing your inner story, and practicing emotional self-regulation. Her message is simple: leaders can change, and secure leadership is both learnable and transformational.  Quotes:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”  Takeaways:  “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”  “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”  “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”  “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”  “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”  Timestamps:  00:02 Intro and podcast milestones  05:12 Meet Dr. Jamie Goff and her personal story  07:21 The “latchkey kid” upbringing and over-independence  10:55 Why she wrote The Secure Leader  13:26 Attachment theory explained  15:21 How unworthiness shapes controlling or approval-seeking leadership  18:50 Jamie’s aha moment as a young leader  21:34 Gaining awareness and deconstructing your story  24:07 Avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles  28:44 Trauma, triggers, and past patterns repeating at work  32:18 The cost of skipping inner work  37:49 First steps to becoming a secure leader  40:06 Where to take the Secure Leader style scan  41:37 Speed round  45:52 Jamie’s hope for more secure leadership  48:31 Leading with love and building self-worth  50:56 Final takeaway on moving slow to move fast  52:57 How to connect with Dr. Jamie Goff  Conclusion:  This conversation reminds us that leadership is fundamentally an inside job. Blind spots are not signs of failure but evidence that we are human, shaped by patterns, histories, and motives we do not always see. By understanding identity shifts, naming our traits and emotional patterns, and getting honest about what truly drives us, we gain more choice in how we show up. Rather than chasing dramatic transformation, Marty urges leaders to embrace small, focused behavioral changes—asking more questions, listening longer, or dialing down an overused strength. Over time, those small tweaks compound into deeper authenticity, healthier relationships, and more effective, human-centered leadership.    Links/Resources:  Website (take the assessment)- https://drjaimegoff.com/   LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/   Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/   Email Dr. Goff: [email protected]       

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• How to See What’s Holding You Back as a Leader with Martin Dubin

  Episode recap     In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Martin Dubin — a clinical psychologist turned entrepreneur and executive coach — to unpack the blind spots that quietly sabotage leaders. Marty’s journey from therapy rooms to boardrooms shaped his book Blindspotting, where he helps executives see what they can’t see about themselves. We dug into why even the smartest leaders miss their own patterns, how to build self-awareness without beating yourself up, and why humility and small shifts matter more than big transformations.    Key Insights:  Blind spots aren’t flaws — they’re unseen patterns. Marty explained how our minds naturally focus on familiar territory, leaving some behaviors invisible to us. Six areas to watch: identity, motives, traits, emotions, intellect, and behavior — all interconnected layers that shape how leaders show up.  Awareness beats overhaul. Growth happens through small, intentional adjustments, not massive self-reinventions.  Humility is the gateway to insight. The best leaders don’t try to be perfect — they stay curious about what they might be missing.  Self-awareness drives effectiveness. Understanding your motives and emotional triggers helps you lead with more clarity, empathy, and confidence.  BIO:   Martin Dubin is a clinical psychologist, serial entrepreneur, business coach, and adviser to C-suite executives and Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. He founded several companies, including a multimillion-dollar health care company where he also served as CEO. A former coach at the Center for Creative Leadership and a partner at talent firm RHR International, he worked directly with hundreds of C-suite senior executives from Fortune 500 companies and with Silicon Valley venture capital firms and their portfolio companies.    Quotes:   “Self-awareness is the single most important tool of your leadership.” “You are the tool of your leadership, so the better you know yourself, the better you lead.” “Your greatest strength becomes a blind spot the moment you overdo it.” “Stress narrows your motives, so you default to survival instead of wise leadership.” “Real change in leaders comes from small tweaks, not dramatic transformation.”    Takeaways:  Name your core strengths, then ask what happens when you are too much of that strength to uncover likely blind spots. Notice when your role has changed but your identity has not and ask if you are still leading like your old job. Pay attention to emotional overreactions after meetings; they are clues to motives or values you may not fully understand. Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room and start asking more questions to draw out the intelligence of your team. Focus on small, intentional behavioral changes rather than chasing a complete personal transformation.    Timestamps:    [00:00] Marcel’s intro: why what used to work in leadership suddenly stops working [02:40] Marty’s story from clinical psychologist to entrepreneur to executive coach  [07:20] The spark behind Blind Spotting and why entrepreneurs reveal raw blind spots  [09:06] Why is it so hard for leaders to see their own blind spots  [11:31] The six blind spot areas and the “target” model are explained  [13:15] Identity blind spots and the pain of transitioning into new roles  [16:12] Traits, emotions, and intellect as hard-to-change parts of our wiring  [20:37] Emotional blind spots, EQ, and using feelings strategically at work  [22:41] Different kinds of intellect and how over-reliance on smarts backfires  [27:49] Motives at the center: power, achievement, affiliation, and values  [32:30] How stress distorts motives and narrows our leadership choices  [33:16] A simple exercise to find blind spots by adding “too” to your strengths  [34:17] Why sustainable growth comes from small behavioral tweaks, not wholesale reinvention  [35:13] Speed round: what makes Marty smile, big life lessons, and hopes for the future  [37:45] Leading with love by accepting yourself and using what you have  [38:16] Final takeaway: start somewhere small and let self-awareness do its work    Conclusion:    This conversation reminds us that leadership is fundamentally an inside job. Blind spots are not signs of failure but evidence that we are human, shaped by patterns, histories, and motives we do not always see. By understanding identity shifts, naming our traits and emotional patterns, and getting honest about what truly drives us, we gain more choice in how we show up. Rather than chasing dramatic transformation, Marty urges leaders to embrace small, focused behavioral changes—asking more questions, listening longer, or dialing down an overused strength. Over time, those small tweaks compound into deeper authenticity, healthier relationships, and more effective, human-centered leadership.    Links/Resources:  Website: https://www.martindubin.com/    Blind Spotting assessment and resources: https://www.blindspotting.com/   Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DRZFK8J6?tag=bk00010a-20&th=1&psc=1&geniuslink=true  

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• Discover How to Unlock a Brighter, Happier, Bolder You with Dr. Paul Zak

  Today’s episode is made possible by TerraSlate. TerraSlate Waterproof Paper is waterproof, rip-proof, and recyclable — no more laminating sheets, and no more wasted paper. TerraSlate prints through any standard laser printer and can be written on with a regular ballpoint pen. Powered by 100% renewable energy and recently named a Denver Broncos Small Business Partner, TerraSlate combines durability with sustainability. From ocean dives to mountain summits, it’s trusted by the NFL, the U.S. military, and Michelin-starred restaurants to perform when nothing else does. If your work matters, make it last.  Visit TerraSlate.com and make your ideas indestructible.    Episode Recap:  In this Love in Action episode, Marcel sits down with neuroscientist and author Dr. Paul Zak to unpack what truly makes us happy—and how love, connection, and neuroscience intersect to create thriving workplaces and healthier lives. Drawing on research from The Little Book of Happiness and his company, Immersion Neuroscience, Zak reveals how happiness isn’t just a feeling—it’s a measurable state shaped by our relationships, daily choices, and leadership behaviors.   Bio:   Paul Zak is a distinguished university professor at Claremont Graduate University. His research has taken him from the Pentagon to Fortune 50 boardrooms to the rainforest of Papua New Guinea. He is ranked among the top 0.3 percent of most cited scientists, with over 200 published research articles. His lab and company, Immersion Neuroscience, help people live longer, happier, and healthier lives.    Quotes:  "Vulnerability is one of the best ways to build bonds with people, whether in your family, your circle of friends, or your professional team and organization. Vulnerability teaches them that you are approachable and that you need others to help you develop answers and embrace feedback." "The more you go in an organization, the more people you lead, the more you become a role model. You're also visible as a role model to people you do not interact with daily, both inside and outside your organization."  "If the map differs from the terrain, go with the terrain. This means assessing the situation in real time, getting inputs from every team member on that special assignment, and making a new plan, which hopefully is a winning plan." Takeaways: ·Reflect on Your Leadership Style: Take 10 minutes to write down how you respond to mistakes and feedback. Are you open to vulnerability, or do you default to defensiveness? Identify one behavior you can adjust to build trust with your team. ·  Build Genuine Connections: Schedule one conversation this week with a team member to learn their personal or professional story. Ask questions that show you care about their perspective and challenges. ·Challenge Long-Held Beliefs: Identify one assumption you rely on when making decisions. Ask yourself, “What if this isn’t true?” and explore how adapting your approach could improve outcomes.  Practice “Fearless Learning”: Pick a recent setback and outline what went wrong without assigning blame. Write down one concrete action to improve your approach next time. Create a Commitment Plan: Draft a one-page outline with three areas to focus on: how you’ll lead yourself, lead your team, and lead your organization. Revisit it regularly to stay aligned with your goals. Timestamps: [00:00] Introduction & Why Happiness Matters [04:00] The Science Behind Social Connection [08:00] Redefining Happiness for Introverts [10:00] The 45 Cardinal Virtues Explained [12:00] The Six App and Measuring Key Moments [17:00] How the Brain Creates Happiness [19:00] Longevity and Social Bonds [20:00] Love vs. Fear in Leadership [24:00] Oxytocin, Trust, and Connection [30:00] Healing Division Through Empathy [33:00] Emotional Fitness and Therapy [36:00] Building Happy, Sustainable Organizations [38:00] Personal Lessons & Reflections [44:00] Leading with Love and Practical Kindness [45:00] Final Takeaways & Resources   Conclusion: To thrive in today’s demanding world, leaders must embrace human-centric leadership. Great leadership starts with self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. By fostering empathy, encouraging open feedback, and seeing vulnerability as a strength, leaders create environments where teams feel valued and empowered. Practicing fearless learning—letting go of rigid assumptions—enables leaders to adapt and guide their organizations through uncertainty. Ultimately, the most effective leaders prioritize authentic relationships, inclusion, and continuous growth, ensuring their teams can innovate, collaborate, and succeed while building cultures that endure beyond immediate challenges.   Links/Resources: Website: https://www.getimmersion.com/  Download the SIX app here: https://your6.com/  Book: https://a.co/d/9IIYijt  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-j-zak-91123510/

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