We Ride at Dawn (ish)

We’re back and we’re airborne, sort of. With the holiday weekend ahead we’re talking everything that’s wrong with air travel, starting with the TSA gaslighting us for two decades straight. Laptops out, laptops in, shoes on, shoes off, belt on, belt off, nobody knows the rules anymore, and somehow, we’ve all just accepted it. We’re also talking fellow passengers behaving like full-on criminals before the plane even leaves the gate, the unspoken marital warfare that is childcare at 35,000 feet, and the real debate on clapping when you land: is it only earned when it feels like a celebration of life, or are you out here clapping for a plane just doing its one job? Plus, the real question: if you clock something on the stranger next to you’s phone that says their “business trip” is not exactly business, do you say something? We have thoughts.

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This week, Camilla calls in the big (tanned) guns: Kyle K. He started as her Barry’s trainer/self-care guru, infiltrated her inner circle, and now—for better or worse—he’s part of yours.

Kyle promised to come in unfiltered and spill allll the tea. He delivered: Wellness. Witches. Workout lies. Exes. Revenge. The art of being petty. And the wildly specific things that can send him into an immediate spiral.Plus: the story behind Kyle K Quotes, the anonymously run Instagram account that’s been documenting—and leaking—the most outrageous things he’s said for years. It’s a real-life Gossip Girl—and Kyle is its favorite target.

Is it iconic? Correct. Is it mildly unhinged? Correct.Most importantly—he’s now here for YOU. Send in your self-care dilemmas. Kyle K is officially taking cases.

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Jessica and Camilla are back with round two of the Messy Mailbag, and this one gets personal. Camilla finally tells the story behind copying Jessica's glasses, and how her subscription... we mean, prescription, did her dirty. Then Jessica drops a bombshell: she might run for president, and Camilla's first duty as campaign manager is instating "Messy Margarita Mondays" as official policy. The girls debate which historical era they'd each be thriving in, dig up some 9-1-1: Nashville and Grey's Anatomy behind-the-scenes secrets that still crack them up to this day. Plus: on-set rituals, a secret handshake, and the diaper surprise nobody warns you about, but every boy mom can relate to. Keep the questions coming... this is only round two!

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We played Would You Rather and there is no coming back from some of these answers. A Moon flight vs. White House residency, loving what you’re great at vs. being great at what you love, Aliens vs. Zombies and then it gets unhinged in the best way. A few questions we genuinely could not finish answering out loud. There’s laughing so hard it turns into actual tears and Jessica may have blacked out. Camilla and Jessica did not hold back on this one.

Watch to see which questions broke us.

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Jessica's out, so Camilla brings her other, other half, husband Matt, for a spooky new spinoff called We Ride at Midnight(ish). First up is the real horror story of their family vacation to Hawaii, from a household-wide "shut up" ban gone wrong to Matt's relentless photo-taking, a stubbed toe ER visit, and the movie theater family from hell. Then things get genuinely eerie as Camilla unloads her research on alien conspiracy theories. What do aliens and Ancestry.com have in common? And a breakdown of the FOUR reported alien species. Equal parts marriage therapy, travel horror story, and UFO deep-dive, this one has it all.

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