WTF is on my Mind?!

I've been sitting with a theory for a while now: that dissociation isn't just what happens to survivors; it might be the actual cornerstone of narcissism itself. Not just what a narcissist does to the people around them, but something disconnected inside of them too, from their own shame, their own actions, maybe their own humanity.

Watch Narcissist's Playbook: https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io
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Dr. Heather Berlin: https://www.heatherberlin.com

Dr. Heather Berlin was one of the experts featured in Narcissist's Playbook, and she joined us for our launch weekend, July 24th to 26th, for a live Q&A that left me with a lot of unfinished thoughts I couldn't stop turning over. So I brought her back to dig in a little deeper.

We get into what dissociation actually is, why some narcissists can pass a polygraph while telling a bold lie because they've come to genuinely believe it, and why some seem to see other people less as people and more as objects, tools, even less than that. We also talk about the difference between refusing to look inward and being unable to, whether some of this is decided early in life or wired in from birth, and why the people who seek power the most are so often the ones who should have it the least.

Dr. Heather Berlin is a neuroscientist and clinical psychologist, and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Her research explores the neural basis of trauma and dissociation, with a particular focus on the insula, the brain region tied to body awareness, and on depersonalization, the clinical term for the numbness and disconnection so many survivors describe. She's also a well-known science communicator, hosting PBS NOVA's Your Brain and appearing regularly on StarTalk with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Her new book, The Fine Art of Losing Control, is available for pre-order now.
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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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Narcissist's Playbook is out now and available to rent at https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/

From July 24th to 26th, we held our Narcissist's Playbook launch weekend, and Dr. Ramani Durvasula was one of our featured speakers. I got to sit down with her for this conversation, and this time we didn't talk about the narcissists. We talked about the survivors and the road back to themselves. PLEASE NOTE THE EMAIL MENTIONED IS NOT AVAILABLE NOW. THAT WAS ONLY FOR THE LIVE WEEKEND.

We get into the fog, that disorienting space where you finally start to see the pattern but don't trust your own memory anymore. Dr. Ramani explains why time itself feels lost in these relationships, and why self blame shows up first, before anger, as a survival mechanism rather than a personal flaw. We talk about the fantasy people hold onto and the fear underneath it, and about grief, not just for the relationship, but for the person you were before it.

Then we open it up to audience questions, covering narcissists at work, grieving a narcissistic parent, custody battles, trauma bonding, and how to leave when someone threatens to hurt themselves if you do.

Narcissist's Playbook is out now and available to rent at https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/
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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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Dr. Jamie Zuckerman and I sat down to talk about our film, Narcissist's Playbook.
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
Dr. Zuckerman is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, and she's seen the film. In this conversation, we get into why my team and I spent five years making it, my own experience in NXIVM, and how it shaped this project, and why we brought self-aware narcissists into the film alongside survivors and clinicians. Dr. Zuckerman brings the clinical side of it too: why narcissistic patterns are so predictable across every kind of relationship, and why that predictability is actually what makes healing possible.

We also get into the resistance this film has faced getting out into the world, why we chose to go independent and survivor-funded instead of through Hollywood, and what's ahead for the release.

Narcissist's Playbook Release Schedule:
July 17 | Early Donor Access
July 24-26 | Official Launch Weekend
July 29 | General Rental Release

Learn more or donate at www.narcissistsplaybook.com
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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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This is episode 12 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it.
Gaby Petris Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@UCvHpiQAiTKxoodufKO5_Viw

The text messages continue. This episode is mostly Jade Alectra’s, and what you're going to see is her mind and her instincts getting dismantled in real time. The sequence involving pillows alone is a masterclass in how intermittent reinforcement works. She's given a task, she does it, the instruction changes, she corrects, he criticizes the correction, then pivots to accusing her of performing. There is no way to win. By design.

But we start before that, with a group chat Jade wasn't even in. Before she's properly settled, Bentinho is already coaching the inner circle on how to perceive her, manage their doubts about his interest in her, and frame what he's doing as spiritual work. One of the reasons he wanted her there? Her connection to someone with tens of millions of social media followers. She didn't find out this chat existed until months after she left.

Then there's the line. In his own words, to his inner circle: "I may f*ck one into freedom and patiently ignore the other into freedom for years." Not interpretation. Not out of context. A spiritual teacher describing his methodology.

There's also a moment where Jade reveals he never disclosed he had herpes, and the group discusses how the inner circle was essentially mobilized to keep him calm enough that a cold sore wouldn't erupt on camera. Keilan points out the obvious: if Bentinho is a fifth-density being who can alter his body with his thoughts, why does he need everyone around him managing his stress levels?

We also get into the question of Cory, how deeply enmeshed she is, what it would take for her to get out, and whether that's even possible without him being removed from the picture entirely.

This is still just a fraction of what exists. More is coming.

The invitation to Bentinho, to Cory, to Kars, to anyone in leadership who wants to make the case publicly and on the record, remains open.

Inst@Guru is part of the podcast WTF Is On My Mind, available on YouTube and all podcast platforms.
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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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Silvana was working at Gaia, deep in a healing process, surrounded by a spiritual community, when she was introduced to Bentinho Massaro through what looked like an ordinary birthday dinner. Within days, there was a yoga class, tacos, a hot tub, truth or dare, and a text message she describes as the most manipulative thing she has ever read in her life.

She didn't fall for it. But in this episode, she explains exactly how close she came, and why.
Silvana's story is different from the ones you've heard so far in this series. She's not a survivor of what Bentinho did to Jacqueline, or Jade, or Keilan. She saw it coming, named it, and walked out. What she has to say about how it works, and who it targets, and what actually protects people, is one of the most clear-eyed accounts we've heard in this entire investigation.

Also in this episode: Bentinho's infamous "spiritual" text message, read aloud and taken apart line by line. An NDA requested the morning after a party. And Silvana's final thoughts on rage, responsibility, and why women in spiritual spaces deserve so much better than what they're being sold.

This is part of the ongoing Inst@Guru investigation into Bentinho Massaro, a Dutch spiritual influencer covered by Rolling Stone, The Guardian, Vice, and De Volkskrant.

Bentinho Massaro: you are welcome to sit down with me any time. The invitation remains open.
Support the show
The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
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