Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

• MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)

  "Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children." — Dr. Gregory Bottaro   Summary This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse's, and build a shared one that gives your children a steady sense of security.  We talk about unity in marriage, how it shapes a child's emotional world, and why kids feel safest when mom and dad stand together. Dr. Gregg also breaks down attachment parenting, pointing out what helps, what stresses families, and why connection between parents matters more than perfect technique.  Listen in to get tools for handling anxiety and staying grounded. You will walk away encouraged, supported, and ready to grow as a family (we were!).   Key Takeaways Children are not naturally built to listen Their brains are still developing, so parents need realistic expectations and a shared rulebook to guide family life with consistency. Parental unity creates a child's secure base A cohesive marriage provides emotional safety. When parents stand together, children regulate better, feel protected, and thrive. Attachment parenting works best when parents are connected to each other The focus should not be on perfect techniques, but on calm, present, regulated parents who work as a team. Faith and community strengthen parenting Trust in divine providence and a grounded spiritual life help parents grow in emotional maturity. Catholic mindfulness reduces anxiety Mindful presence, paired with trust in God, reshapes anxious brain patterns. Even a few minutes a day can improve decision making, calm fears about parenting, and support healthier family relationships. Couple Discussion Questions What were our "rulebooks" from our families when we were growing up?  How can we create our own rulebook for our family? When do we feel most united in our parenting?  When do we feel most divided?   

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• MFP 359: How to Choose Toys for Christmas

  "Baby Jesus was an amazing surprise to the world on Christmas morning, and gifts under the tree remind us of that wondrous gift each year." - Regina Doman Summary Mothers create the environment of the home by what we allow in our house, how we arrange our home, and where things are kept. We are teaching our children all the time, not just by what we say and do, but the home that we create for our families.  We communicate what we value and what we want our children to learn by the "stuff" in our home.  Moms have to be thoughtful and intentional about this.  Listen into this conversation that Alicia has with her sister Regina Doman, author and speaker, about the questions she asks herself before buying items for her family for Christmas.  You can hear more from Regina by following her at reginadoman.substack.com  Key Takeaways Questions to ask yourself before bringing something into your home…..  Is it beautiful? Everyone sees beauty differently! Is this toy annoying?  If you enjoy a toy, your child may too! Does it teach the child how the world works?  Children learn to trust their senses through natural materials. How long will it last?  Is it durable and how long will the child play with it?  Can this child care for this toy? Make sure it is developmentally appropriate What are the limitations of our home? Make sure it fits your lifestyle and the space you have in your home.   Couple Discussion Questions Are we intentional about the toys and items that we have in our home for the kids?   Which of the above questions do I feel strongly about?  Let's discuss this.   

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• MFP 358: Thriving, not just surviving with lots of littles

  Summary Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering whether you're doing anything right as a parent of little ones? You're not alone — and you're not crazy. In this refreshed and expanded episode, Mike and Alicia revisit their classic "Survival Zone" conversation with new insights from another decade of parenting and now grandparenting. They unpack why the early years are so intense, what's normal (hint: your exhaustion), how marriage is stretched during this season, and how moms and dads can support each other through the chaos. You'll hear practical advice on setting realistic ideals, finding community, leaning on others for help, navigating time traps like social media, letting dads step up in their unique way, and prioritizing your marriage in the midst of diapers and dishes. Whether you're in the trenches right now or reflecting back on that season, this episode offers encouragement, perspective, and a reminder: this won't last forever — and it will make you stronger. Key Takeaways Reassess ideals  Consider getting outside help - isolation hurts this Dads have to step in  - great opportunity for men to gain confidence  Get out alone together Beware of "time traps" Get some good routines going that work for you This is training for your life.  If you can do this, you can do anything   Couple Discussion Questions How can we support each other during this time?  What are the greatest lessons that we are learning?   🙏 If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project! https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give 📋 Take our 2025 Listener Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MXKQLYW For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

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• MFP 357: Marriage Q&A: When It Feels Hard, How Do You Stay Connected?

  In this honest Q&A episode, Mike and Alicia answer real questions from listeners about the struggles every couple faces – feeling distant, managing conflict, and staying united when life gets stressful. They talk about what to do when your marriage feels dry or disconnected, how to rebuild emotional intimacy, and how humility, forgiveness, and shared prayer can bring healing. With humor and wisdom from decades of marriage and mentoring, they offer hope for couples who want to grow together, not just stay together.   Couples Discussion Questions What should I do when my spouse seems emotionally distant? How can we reconnect after a big argument? How do we stay close when life feels overwhelming? What if I'm the only one trying to fix our marriage? Whether you're newly married or in the thick of family life, this episode will remind you: every marriage has hard seasons, but grace makes growth possible.   We'd love your feedback! Take our 2025 Listener Survey and help us serve families better: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP-2025  For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

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• MFP 356: Twenty Minutes to Change a Kid's Life – the Importance of Family Dinners

  Families need to disconnect from the world's pace, be present to one another and break bread together. - Bishop Thomas Olmstead Summary Why are family dinners so hard — and so important? In our latest Messy Family Podcast episode, we get real about the chaos of mealtime: the cooking, the planning, the juggling schedules, picky eaters, and the endless cleanup. But we also share the good news — it doesn't have to be perfect to matter.  Family meals aren't just about food. They're a time to build identity, teach traditions, and give your kids a sense of belonging. Research shows that sharing meals boosts kids' grades, strengthens communication, and protects against depression and risky behaviors.  We'll give you practical tips to make family meals doable — even joyful — in the middle of everyday mess. From simple routines to conversation starters and kid-friendly chores, this episode will help you make mealtime your family's "north star."  Listen now and rediscover the power of your dinner table! Key Takeaways Close with: "Those 20 minutes around your table might be the most important minutes of your child's day." Recap: Family meals strengthen minds, hearts, and homes Make it a priority Have a routine Use the time to connect Include the kids to make it happen!  Couple Discussion Questions How often does your family sit down together? What is one thing we can do to improve our time together?   

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