I Love You, Too

Dear Listener, is polyamory just cheating with extra steps? If you've ever wondered what actually distinguishes ethical non-monogamy from infidelity—or if you're thinking about opening your relationship and want to do it right—this episode is for you.
Maybe you're curious about ENM but nervous about what it could do to your relationship. Maybe you're already practicing ethical non-monogamy and navigating a shift—adding a new partner, one of you wanting to close back up, or renegotiating agreements that no longer fit. Whether you're just getting started or deep in the complexity of polyamory, we've got you covered.
This is the final episode in our Managing Thirds series. "Thirds" are people, things, or activities outside your couple bubble that can threaten—or enrich—your relationship's safety and security. And when it comes to ENM, there are a lot of thirds to manage—which is why doing this well requires intention.
We're joined by Relationship Center therapist Nicole Penrod, AMFT, who specializes in supporting couples through transitions like this one. Nicole breaks down what actually distinguishes ENM from cheating, and explains why opening a relationship—or changing how you're open—will intensify whatever already exists between you, for better and for worse.
We walk through what ENM relationships need to function well: knowing your strengths and weaknesses as a couple, getting clear on your why, building tools to navigate surprises as they arise, and managing big feelings like jealousy. Nicole introduces practical frameworks, including how to create a "container for experimentation" and the RADAR check-in—a structured conversation for staying connected through change. We even do a mini roleplay so you can hear what it sounds like in action.
If you want to explore or evolve your ENM relationship in a way that strengthens rather than strains your connection, this episode was made just for you.
Key Takeaways
00:00 Intro
01:36 Managing Thirds Meets ENM
11:25 Agreements and Check In Tools
24:16 RADAR Check-In Framework
28:55 Mini RADAR Roleplay
40:45 Updating agreements as you go
Resources and links
Polywise: A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships by Jessica Fern and David
Multiamory podcast
Ep. 20 - Understanding Jealousy, Compersion & Attachment in Relationships
Ep. 35 - NVC for Couples: What Nonviolent Communication Is and How to Use It
Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!
If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.
To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.
If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.
Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

Does your partner's family sometimes feel like a third wheel in your relationship, Dear Listener? Maybe your in-laws overstep, your partner sides with their parents over you, or you're navigating grandparents who have strong opinions about how you're raising your kids.
We’ve worked with countless couples struggling with how to relate to in-laws and grandparents, so worry not – we’ve got your back.
This is the third episode in our Managing Thirds series, and we're tackling one of the stickiest thirds of all: your partner's family. We're joined by Relationship Center therapist and couples counselor Cody Gould to explore how couples can navigate in-law relationships without losing their connection—or their minds.
Cody walks us through the spectrum of involvement with in-laws, from boundaryless enmeshment to limited contact to no contact at all—and how couples can figure out what's right for them. We dig into what happens when your partner chooses their parents over you (and what to do about it), how to set boundaries with overstepping grandparents, and why a unified front matters so much when you're parenting differently than your parents did (which, let’s be real, you probably are).
The good news? It all comes back to just one thing: your couple bubble must be protected first and foremost. You and your partner are the proverbial roof of the house; you must be strong and aligned no matter what. Put more simply, before you have any conversation with in-laws, you and your partner need to be on the same page — about what you're comfortable with, what your boundaries are, and how you'll respond when those boundaries get pushed.
If you're navigating tricky family dynamics and want to protect your relationship while honoring the people you love, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
00:00 Intro
02:02 Managing Thirds Recap
02:36 In-Laws as a Third
07:09 Choosing Involvement Levels
23:02 When your partner sides with their family
34:38 Setting Boundaries with Parents Around Baby
Resources and links
How to set boundaries with in-laws (inc. list of possible boundaries)
Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!
If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.
To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.
If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.
Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

Dear Listener, has your relationship been rocked by a betrayal? Maybe you discovered your partner was hiding something—an affair, a secret account, or a series of trust-breaking half-truths. Or maybe you're the one who kept the secret, and now you're wondering if there's any way to heal your relationship.
This is the second episode in our Managing Thirds series, and we're tackling one of the most painful examples of a mismanaged third: betrayal. We're joined by Relationship Center therapist Shae Burnette, AMFT, who specializes in recovery from betrayal trauma. In this conversation, Shae walks us through how couples can actually heal after infidelity or other major breaches of trust, and even build a stronger relationship as a result.
Shae explains that betrayal isn't just about affairs – breaches of trust can result from withholding information that, if known, would have changed everything. This can include hidden addictions, covert spending, or omitting a quiet, inconvenient truth, like realizing you don’t want kids after all. What all betrayals have in common: one partner kept a secret, and now the other partner's sense of reality has been shattered.
We walk through the phases of healing—from addressing the betrayed partner's trauma and rebuilding trust, to renegotiating the agreements of the relationship so this doesn't happen again. You'll learn what the secret-keeping partner needs to do to regain trust (hint: it's more than just apologizing), how the betrayed partner can set boundaries after infidelity without becoming punitive, and why rushing through recovery almost always backfires.
If you're navigating betrayal trauma recovery and wondering whether your relationship can survive—or even become stronger—this episode offers a clear, compassionate path forward.
Key Takeaways
0:00 Intro
02:01 Managing Thirds: Recap
03:11 What is betrayal?
07:22 Phase One: Rebuilding Trust
29:14 Phase Two: Agreements
43:51 Phase Three: Maintenance
Resources and links
Ep. 37 - A Common Reason Relationships Fail: Managing Thirds (Part 1 of 4)
The Ten Commandments for a Secure-Functioning Relationship by Stan Tatkin (blog post)
Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!
If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.
To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.
If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.
Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

Dear Listener, have you ever felt like you're competing with your partner's job, phone, friends, or hobbies for their attention? Or maybe you've been on the other side—accused of not prioritizing your partner when you didn't even realize you were doing it? Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just starting to date someone new, this episode is for you. (Singles: stick around until the end for dating-specific tips on managing thirds from day one.)
In this episode, we dive into one of the most common causes of relationship problems: mismanaged thirds. "Thirds" is a concept from Stan Tatkin that refers to anything outside the couple—people, things, or activities—that can leave one or both partners feeling neglected or sidelined. When thirds aren't managed well, the couple bubble gets compromised, and the relationship suffers.
We explore why thirds threaten your sense of safety and security, the signs of relationship trouble to watch for (hint: it's not always about the thing you're fighting about), and how to protect your relationship by setting boundaries that actually work. Spoiler: the answer isn't "stop doing the thing" or "stop caring"—it's something more nuanced that leaves neither partner feeling like they've lost.
This is the first episode in a four-part series on managing thirds—stay tuned for deep dives on healing from betrayal, navigating in-laws, and ethical non-monogamy.
Key Takeaways
00:00 Intro
01:53 What are "thirds"—and why do they threaten your relationship?
21:09 How do you protect your relationship from mismanaged thirds?
31:26 Managing thirds in early dating
Resources and links
Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin (audiobook)
The Ten Commandments for a Secure-Functioning Relationship by Stan Tatkin (blog post)
Ep. 20 - Understanding Jealousy, Compersion & Attachment in Relationships (podcast episode)
Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!
If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.
To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.
If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.
Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!

Dear Listener, you know those couples who somehow manage to stay connected and loving no matter what? Life is full-on life-ing at them, and somehow they seem stronger because of it. How do they do it?
In this episode, we’ll explore one of the most powerful things you can do to build a relationship that thrives over the long haul: crafting your relationship's purpose and vision.
Lasting, intentional partnerships are built on a foundation sturdier than the transient love chemicals that flood your brain at the start of a relationship, or a shared love for [insert common interest here]. A relationship purpose and vision hold couples steady through sleepless nights, career stress, health scares, and all the curveballs life throws.
Whether you're single and dreaming about your future relationship or already in a relationship and want to align more deeply, this conversation is for you.
Your relationship purpose answers the question: Why are we together? It's the animating force beneath your partnership—something like "to help each other grow," "to heal together," or "to have each other's backs through life." Your relationship vision answers: Where are we headed? It's the picture of what you're creating together—how you want to raise kids, support each other's dreams, and show up when times get tough.
We share our own purpose and vision (including a sweet impromptu exercise imagining ourselves five years from now), offer prompts to help you craft yours, and explain why "love" and "kids" alone aren't enough to sustain a long-term partnership.
If you’re all in on creating a future-proofed relationship capable of joy over the long haul, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
00:00 Intro
01:45 Why craft a relationship purpose and vision?
11:55 How to create your relationship purpose
20:03 How to craft your relationship vision
34:54 How to use your relationship purpose and vision
Resources and links
Ep. 2 - What to look for in a long-term partner
Downloadable Guide: What to look for in a long-term partner
The PACT Institute (Stan Tatkin’s organization): Shared Purpose, Shared Vision, and Shared Principles of Governance (blog post)
We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love by Stan Tatkin (book)
Downloadable Guide: Crafting Your Relationship Purpose and Vision
Have a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!
If you’d like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.
To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.
If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.
Lastly, we’d love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you’re there so you never miss an episode!