How do you see yourself? Do you ever feel like a villain, like everything is your fault? Do you ever feel like a victim, overwhelmed and powerless to change your life? Do you ever feel like a hero, as if you have to succeed because the whole world is depending on you? Today, we’re talking about how to see yourself accurately and understand yourself better through three lenses: your villain story, your victim story, and your hero story. These categories are inspired by “The Karpman Drama Triangle” by Dr. Stephen B. Karpman. The original drama triangle describes common patterns in dysfunctional relationships. I’ve adapted it for the context of story work for men outgrowing porn.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
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Arousal, Addiction, And Intimacy (with Chris Chandler and Andrew Engstrom)
What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men and women heal from compulsive and addictive behaviors through faith, community, and neuroscience-informed recovery practices. Over the past 20 years, Chris has led thousands through individual and group recovery experiences. His mission is simple: to restore people to wholeness by integrating clinical insight with authentic, Spirit-filled community because true recovery happens in relationship.Schedule a 30-minute consultation with Chris here.Andrew Engstrom is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Seattle Christian Counseling, where he helps individuals and couples heal by understanding themselves better first. Andrew is certified in MDFT (a holistic approach to counseling treatment) and uses PREPARE/ENRICH in pre-marital and marital counseling. He offers support and insight for overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of forming lasting, fulfilling relationships with others and God.Learn more and connect with Andrew here.See a preview of Chris and Andrew's intensives here.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
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D.I.R.E.C.T. Psychodrama (with Dr. Doug Carpenter and Drew Boa)
In this episode, Doug and Drew explain their powerful, unique approach to psychodrama: DIRECT. You'll learn how this powerful modality can help you experience deeper healing and freedom from porn.D.I.R.E.C.T. = Dynamic, Intuitive, Redemptive, Embodied, Communal Transformation.Come experience D.I.R.E.C.T. at a Husband Material Healing Weekend! See all upcoming healing weekends and retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreatJanuary Healing Weekend in Florida: 4 spots left. Apply here.March Healing Weekend in Utah : FULL.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
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Sex Education For Adult Men (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreatDr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.comBuy Doug's books:Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual DevelopmentChildhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male: Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing, and ChangeSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
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Ten Ways To Regulate Without Porn (Grounding Techniques)
When you're triggered or tempted to watch porn, you cannot not regulate. What you can do is choose how you will regulate. In this episode, you'll learn ten powerful grounding techniques to regulate your brain and body without porn:Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic (image)Power Breathing: Wim Hof Method (video)External Observation: 5-4-3-2-1 (image)Internal Observation: How We Feel (app)Ten Befriending Questions (PDF)Imagination: Visualize your inner worldCreativity: Be a creator, not a consumerMovement: Be proactive, not passiveIdentity: Remember who you are (PDF)Co-regulation: Do any of these with a friend!Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode makes it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.
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