Finding Fertility

What this episode moves through

• The subtle ways control still shows up even when you think you’ve “done the work”
• Why the mundane parts of your day hold more power than the big healing moments
• The nervous system patterns built in repetition, not intensity
• What it actually feels like to stop filling every quiet space
• The difference between thinking about change & living inside it
• How presence becomes something your body knows, not something you try to do

There was a point where I stopped looking for the big moment to change everything.

Not because I found it… but because I couldn’t keep chasing it.

I remember thinking something must be missing. Another protocol. Another shift. Another layer I hadn’t uncovered yet. And yet nothing was actually changing in the way I thought it would. Not in the timeline I had quietly decided it should.

And what I didn’t see at the time was how much of my life I was moving through without ever really being in it.

This conversation starts to land there. Not in the dramatic parts of the journey. Not in the big decisions or the big healing moments. But in the places that feel almost too ordinary to matter.

The parts of your day you usually rush through or fill up or try to get past.

And how those exact moments are where something deeper either stays the same… or finally begins to shift.

Timestamps

01:05 The reality of staying in the work over time
02:01 Bringing awareness into the mundane
03:17 Why big healing moments are not where change sticks
04:18 Presence inside ordinary life
05:17 Noticing the absence of urgency
06:12 How patterns are built in small moments
07:11 Parenting, awareness & self-compassion
07:40 Rewiring happens faster than you think
08:09 Returning to yourself in simple ways
08:35 What begins to shift without external change

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Hidden%20Pattern%20Keeping%20You%20Stuck%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility%20Burnout

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“Awareness is not the same as self-monitoring.”

Topics Discussed

How awareness quietly turns into pressure and self-monitoring

The deeply ingrained pattern of being hypercritical with yourself

Why many emotional patterns are learned, not who you actually are

The difference between observing and trying to fix yourself

The concept of “the observer observing the observer”

How judgment, shame, and blame activate the nervous system

Why clean awareness creates regulation and softness in the body

Letting go of the need to improve every moment you notice

The internal stories that keep you stuck in “this is just who I am”

Moving into a more neutral, graceful relationship with yourself

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

And this week… we go a layer deeper.

Because a lot of you have done the work. You’ve slowed down. You’ve started noticing your patterns. You’re becoming aware. And instead of that bringing relief… it’s quietly turned into another thing you’re trying to get right.

Watching yourself. Correcting yourself. Wondering if you’re doing it “well enough.”

And I get it. I’ve lived that.

But this is where things can get a little sneaky. Because awareness can very quickly turn into self-monitoring. And self-monitoring almost always turns into judgment.

So instead of softening… your body tightens even more.

This episode is where we shift that.

Not by doing more. Not by fixing anything. But by learning how to observe yourself without adding another layer of pressure on top of everything you’re already carrying.

Because the truth is… you’re not stuck because you’re doing it wrong.

You’re stuck because you’re still judging yourself while you’re trying to change.

And once you see that… something opens.

“Judgment tightens the body. Awareness softens it.”

Timestamps
00:00
Welcome and grounding into your fertility journey

01:35
How awareness turns into self-monitoring and pressure

02:29
The root of self-judgment and learned patterns

03:18
The observer observing the observer explained

04:47
Why judgment tightens the body and awareness softens it

06:12
You are the only one judging yourself

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-17%20Fertility%20Burnout%20&%20the%20Trap%20of%20Self-Monitoring%20Your%20Healing%20During%20IVF%20&%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You are not responsible for everything that happens… but you are responsible for how you meet it.”

Topics Discussed

The quiet ways control hides inside being responsible, organized, and “on top of it”

How overdoing becomes identity without you even realizing it

The internal pressure of time and the feeling of constantly being behind

The nervous system’s attachment to urgency and why slowing down feels unsafe

The difference between reacting from default patterns and responding from awareness

Why radical responsibility is not blame, shame, or self-judgment

The moment you start noticing yourself in real time and everything shifts

How small shifts in awareness begin to change your default frequency

The gap between noticing your patterns and criticizing yourself for them

Letting yourself be human while still choosing something different next time

“The hardest part of this journey is remembering to break the pattern.”

 

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

And this week… we go there.

Not the surface-level stuff. Not the “just stay positive” nonsense.
We’re talking about the patterns that have been quietly running your life for years. The ones that look like responsibility. Like being on top of things. Like doing everything right.

But underneath… it’s control. It’s pressure. It’s that constant hum of feeling behind.

And I know this one can feel a bit confronting. Because when we start talking about radical responsibility, it can tip straight into blame if you’re not careful. That old energy of “this must be my fault.”

It’s not that.

It’s the moment you realize… you might not control what’s happening, but you are shaping how you meet it. And that changes everything.

Because this isn’t about doing your fertility journey better.
It’s about getting honest with how you’re showing up inside of it.

And once you see it… you can’t unsee it.

Timestamps
00:00
Welcome and grounding into the deeper fertility journey

02:06
The hidden layers of control most women don’t see

03:34
How time pressure creates urgency and tightness in the body

04:30
What radical responsibility actually means

05:55
Forgetting, looping patterns, and removing self-judgment

06:51
Why shifting patterns feels unsafe in your body

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-16%20IVF,%20Control%20&%20Time%20Pressure:%20Why%20You%20Still%20Feel%20Behind%20During%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Topics Discussed

• Fertility burnout and the internal countdown
• IVF trauma and rushed decision making
• Subconscious blocks connected to age and timing
• Nervous system responses to waiting
• Emotional healing through integration not fixing
• Mindset and frequency shifts through steady awareness

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This week is not about doing more. It is about letting what you have already seen settle into your body.

Over the last few weeks you have noticed how time pressure became personal. How fertility burnout was not just exhaustion but a constant internal countdown. How IVF trauma and waiting can quietly rush decisions and tighten your pace. Maybe something softened. Not perfectly. Not permanently. But enough to feel a little more space in your chest.

Time is one of the loudest fears in a fertility journey. Age. Expectations. The story of I should have had this by now. And when that story runs unconsciously it shapes your mindset and frequency without you even realizing it. You start living inside the countdown.

“Time pressure loses its power when it is no longer unconscious.”

This week we are integrating. Not fixing. Not evaluating your progress. Not measuring how far you have come in your emotional healing. Just noticing how your body responds to waiting. Does urgency still grip the same way. Does your nervous system soften even slightly when you remember you are not behind.

When you live outside the countdown even briefly something profound happens. Choices return that are not driven by fear. Presence returns. Trust returns. Not because your circumstances changed but because your relationship with time shifted.

“When you stop racing the clock your system remembers how to feel safe.”

This is subconscious healing in real time. The simple practice of being the ultimate observer without judgment. No labels. No performance. Just awareness repeated enough that the frequency naturally recalibrates.

Next week we move into radical responsibility. Not as effort. Not as hustle. As ownership of how you meet your life.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and settling into week 15
01:07 Letting awareness integrate instead of doing more
02:05 Time pressure age and the fear of being behind
03:03 Living outside the countdown
04:31 Reminding your body it is safe to slow down
04:59 Transition into radical responsibility

If you have been holding your breath for years this episode will feel quiet. Almost too simple. And that is the point. Fertility burnout thrives on urgency. IVF trauma feeds on the countdown. This week we practice something radical. We let it soften. We let the body recalibrate. And we see what choices return when fear is no longer running the show.

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-15Subconscious%20Blocks%20Hidden%20in%20the%20Fear%20of%20Waiting%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Topics Discussed

Fertility burnout as nervous system time pressure not failure

IVF trauma and how urgency imprints in the body

Subconscious blocks around waiting and safety

Emotional healing through subtle rhythm shifts

Frequency changes that happen without force

Radical responsibility without self blame

Creating new evidence through small regulated moments

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This week we are not fixing your fertility. We are not solving your timeline. We are looking at the quiet panic underneath it all. The fertility burnout that feels like exhaustion is often just fear dressed up as productivity. The internal clock that feels biological is usually emotional. And when you slow down enough to notice that time pressure is a story your nervous system has memorized, something softens.

You are not behind. You are not late. You are not running out. What if the urgency you feel is not truth but conditioning? What if IVF trauma and subconscious blocks around time have trained your body to believe waiting is dangerous? That is the frequency we are unraveling. Not with force. Not with performance. Just awareness.

“If I told you that you would have your dream family by 2028 and it was a hard guarantee, you would finally relax.”

That is the gift you are practicing giving yourself. When the body no longer feels threatened by time, coherence begins. When you pause without fear, that is emotional healing in motion. And when you notice even one moment where you did not rush, that is subconscious healing happening in real time.

“Your body knows how to regulate pace when it is not driven by fear.”

This episode is about noticing those subtle shifts. The breath that deepens. The decision that waits. The moment you choose rest over reaction. Fertility burnout loses its grip when urgency is no longer your identity. And next week we close this chapter by asking one honest question. Has your relationship with time actually changed in your bones?

Timestamps

00:00 Opening and the deeper layer beneath fertility burnout
01:32 Awareness creating space around time pressure
02:56 The magic wish and what happens when urgency dissolves
03:55 Recognizing subtle nervous system regulation shifts
04:53 Celebrating moments where waiting no longer feels dangerous
05:19 Feeling the shift in your relationship with time

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-14%20Fertility%20Burnout%20Time%20Pressure%20Healing%20Urgency%20at%20the%20Nervous%20System

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.