Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:
In my previous relationship, we were trying to abstain from sex. I knew he was watching porn and working on that too. A week after breaking up, he started sleeping with someone else and since has been sleeping with many people. Word that I don't care to hear spreads quickly in a small town. I'm trying to identify the lie from the enemy in this. Right now, I just know that it hurts very deeply. I'm also trying to find the truth in all this pain.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Early on, we discussed physical boundaries. I shared that kissing with the intention of increasing arousal crosses a line for me, while he felt anything short of sex was acceptable. A few times I've pulled away because the kissing becomes too arousing. This causes him to shut down and get hurt, feeling he has done something wrong. Now, his response is to show barely any physical affection. How can I navigate this in a way that honors our boundaries without hurting him or falling into lust?
I'm a 27-year-old man who has struggled with same-sex attraction my entire life. In recent years, I've gained control over my desires through inner healing, dedicating time to embracing my masculine identity and building good male friendships. Listening to your podcast, I realized navigating my disoriented attractions is not about repressing my eros out of shame, but asking God for more—that He might help me see the true beauty in all things, even women. I sometimes entertain fantasies of women, seeking companionship and human connection. I enjoy these because they seem more ordered than my desires for the same sex. I'm not sure if this is what it means to expand my eros.

Resources:
TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026
Course Schedule
Good News About Sex & Marriage
Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd
Sexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video
Fill These Hearts
THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)
⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠
John Paul II Healing Center Events
Desert Stream Ministries

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

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Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
“I cry every Christmas season when I reflect on the baby Jesus. Like if I imagine myself holding him. And it's not just at Christmas, I've also cried during Advent, Lent, Holy Week, especially the Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost Sunday. Sometimes I cry more than the prophet Jeremiah. Do you think I'm experiencing the gift of tears or just something else entirely?”
"I feel passionately about living out the teachings of Theology of the Body in my life and future marriage. I’m finding a dilemma that many men, Catholic men, want to break off a relationship when they find out I don’t want to have sex or engage in any acts where orgasms are sought separate from sex open to life in marriage. I’ve tried to explain it is about making love and loving one another in the way God loves. But I haven’t been able to get any man to see the beauty and desire this with me, and I’m starting to get discouraged. I’m trusting in God’s plan, but I’m finding temptation to put up with occasional sin in my marriage, hoping that the holy sex will change the man’s heart one day. Can you give me advice?"
“I feel heartbroken. I found out that my boyfriend's pornography use and social media lust, which I previously thought was in the past, had relapsed and continued throughout our relationship for years without me knowing. He has now stopped and is almost free of this issue. What can I do to make this pain go away? I feel sad to think of him looking at other women that way. How can I still feel like our marriage will be special in that way, if while he was dating me, he chose to look at other women without me knowing? I just want this pain to go away so I can move forward in our relationship without feeling like I won't be enough for him or comparing myself to these women."

Resources:
TOB I: Head & Heart Immersion Course July 14-19, 2026
Course Schedule
Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
I want to fully understand Theology of the Body but struggle due to a history with porn addiction. Exposed at 13, I fell away from the Church and entered an ill-advised marriage where porn use was encouraged, ending in divorce. Now, by the grace of God, it’s been several months since I’ve slipped. Resources like the Matt Fradd show, Internal Family Systems, and Covenant Eyes have helped immensely. I’ve met an amazing woman, but when I told her about my addiction, she expressed concern that I haven't done enough to address it. How do I know if I’ve done enough? What resources would you recommend?
My fiancé and I have been discerning swim modesty, particularly for men. I love swimming and see many modest options for women, but what about men? I felt like seeing my fiancé without his shirt for the first time was a big deal, as a level of nakedness would be revealed that hadn’t been before. We discerned him wearing a swim shirt, as I want to wait to see this nakedness until marriage. He has struggled with it, and I didn't want to force it. Should men have a level of modesty and cover up while swimming, or is it modest for men to swim shirtless since that’s acceptable in our culture?
Are there any feminine hygiene products that are not acceptable? Tampons are required to go into the body, and menstrual cups or disks even require a woman to actually reach her hand up her vagina to insert and to remove. This feels a little bit like the line towards masturbation is being pushed.

Resources:
Way of Beauty Course with Bill Donaghy
Course Schedule
Freedom Coaching
TOB Institute Store
John Paul II Healing Center
Desert Stream Ministries

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek God’s face? I hear it all the time, but I’m not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"
My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lord’s work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. We’ve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we don’t know how.
Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outside—something that my husband could enjoy between us privately. I’m worried it is not good to wear anything ‘sexy’ or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I don’t know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, I’m not married yet but soon will be and I’m preparing excitedly.

Resources:
Nacho Libre Video
TOB1 Course
Course Schedule
Lingerie Podcast

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic self—skiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?
As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I don’t think about men lustfully; it’s more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycle—perhaps God’s way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. I’ve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body.
I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Resources:
⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠
Love & Responsibility YouTube Series