Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:
My fiancé and I recently became engaged. I was in the seminary where I wrote my master's thesis on TOB, and my fiancé has also learned about it. We've been trying to live out TOB teachings in our engagement, which has been a true blessing. However, we keep on falling into lust. We've tried all sorts of mechanisms to prevent it, but we keep losing the battle. Lately the burden has become heavier, and it seems we'll never get it right. We're wondering if you might have struggled with something similar in the beginning and what advice you can give.
When we profess we believe in the resurrection of the body, we're saying that when Christ returns, we will be reunited, body and soul. I've heard that because of this, Catholics aren't supposed to scatter ashes. If God is omnipotent, why does that matter? What is the difference between ashes being scattered over a lake or bodies decomposing into the soil? It pains me to think someone won't experience resurrection because their family sought closure. Further, does this affect the Catholic stance on donating organs after death or donating your cadaver to medical students?
I'm a 26-year-old Catholic. My question is about being single and experiencing sexual desire. Some days, I feel at peace being single, but other days, I deeply long for a husband, sex, and intimacy—to become one flesh and know that I'm loved and wanted. I understand in my head that marriage and sex aren't the ultimate fulfillment, but sometimes that truth falls on a deaf heart. Why would God place such a strong desire in us and ask us to wait, or possibly never experience it? How can I learn to open my heart and trust Him in that tension?

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

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🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
In the Theology of the Body, you speak about how the female body reflects God's love through its capacity to receive, nurture, and bring forth life. After a traumatic first C-section, I struggle to understand how this truth applies to my story. Although I later had a second C-section, it's the trauma of that first birth I continue to carry. At times I feel my body failed me and find it difficult to see it as a gift. How can I understand my body through Theology of the Body after this trauma and find healing?
I recently read that there's some debate among Catholic theologians on whether contraception in the case of rape is permissible. The source said, after confirming that conception has not yet taken place so as not to inadvertently end the life of a conceived child, contraception can be taken so as to prevent a pregnancy resulting from rape, almost as a form of self-defense. Is this true? I had always thought contraception was intrinsically evil, meaning it is never allowed to be used in any circumstance whatsoever. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it.
How can TOB relate to mental disorders? After all, the brain is an organ too, which can suffer from incurable illnesses. For example, I recently learned I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, which leads me to hurt my body through compulsions like scratching and self-punishing. I also struggle with post-traumatic stress symptoms causing unpleasant physical sensations during flashbacks. It is hard enough to see my body as something good, and even harder to love my brain. I feel a tendency to view this as a brain versus body division, and I'm wondering how to live more in the brain-body connection.

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⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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📩 Submit your question here!

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
I'm a young man currently discerning the priesthood and applying to enter the seminary next year. For most of my life, I've struggled with lust and masturbation. Even though I'm in control today, I know this is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. What is your opinion on day counting or keeping streaks as an additional way of motivating myself to stay pure and chaste? Second, is this journey of growing in chastity for the priesthood perhaps a way for God to actually prepare me for marriage and to treat a future wife rightly and well?
I’ve been doing the 33-day consecration to St. Joseph, and I’m on day 13. I’m deeply disturbed by the readings today, especially ones that talk about the virginity of St. Joseph and even the virginity of St. John the Apostle. Somehow, in the entire text, it gives the idea that remaining a virgin is somehow better, more pure, and more chaste than being married and trying for children. I understand why Mary was virgin, at least a little bit now, mostly because of TOB. But the fact that St. Joseph and even St. John the Apostle are virgins simply because it is pure, and God will only give Mary to a virgin, somehow discourages me greatly from performing my marital duties to my husband. Why is being a virgin pure, and marriage not pure?
My husband and I have four children, ages six, four, two, and almost nine months. We both work full-time and have always been open to life. But at the moment, we do really feel at capacity. I am still exclusively breastfeeding the baby. We understand the church's teaching on contraception, and we're not using contraception. But I would like to know what the church teaches on sex in a marriage when you do not feel open to life in the season that you're in.

Love & Responsibility YouTube Series with Matt Fradd

Questions answered this episode:
1. You talk on your podcast about how a spouse is vast and deep interiorly, using the analogy of deep sea diving. If you commit to exploring that interior life, you'll never be bored. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. Recently, some things from our pre-marriage days came up. That hurt deeply, but helped us grow deeper together. The past seems like the most obvious place to go deep sea diving, but we don't want to constantly hash out past events. How can we apply your analogy to the present and future? What does this practically look like?
2. I was recently watching a video of a doctor trying to save a newborn's life since he was not breathing. Someone said in the comments, "That cry was all I wanted to hear." That led me to ask myself: why is crying the first thing we do when we are born? And why is that cry basically vital in order to know the baby's okay? Do you think that has something theological to tell us? Is it like some cry of the heart that's manifested through our body as we come out of our mother's womb?
3. I had a vasectomy before I converted, and now would very much like to get it reversed. Obviously, the cost is a huge hurdle, and I understand that you have helped many people find the resources to have this done. I'm wondering how I can achieve this. Thank you in advance, and God bless you for the incredible work that you do.

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

📩 Submit your question here!

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
1. I've been married for over 10 years. My spouse and I have a good solid faith filled relationship. Sometimes, however, the thought of having a spiritual director sounds interesting to me. I just wondered what spiritual direction looks like for a married individual. Part of me feels like having a spiritual director would take the place of sharing deep things with my spouse. How can spiritual direction build upon an already solid marriage without detracting from it?
2. Does theology the body teach us anything about hunting? I'm an avid deer hunter. I respect the lives of animals. But I also know that God commanded man to have authority and care for the animals, allowing us to eat meat. However, I feel this tug at my heart in regards to hunting that I didn't feel before. I've come to realize that taking the life of an animal can be profound and treated with respect. I've hunted with guys who not feel this respect. They have more of a warlike mentality. Do you have any thoughts for me?
3. I'm a licensed clinical social worker working through sexual issues with a client. The wife reports they were taught TOB in college that they should not end the sexual encounter until the wife has an orgasm. The issue is that the encounter is going really long; the husband is becoming frustrated and tired, and the wife will often have a panic attack due to the stress while trying to climax. They are devoutly Catholic and want to follow what the church teaches. What would you tell someone experiencing psychological or emotional distress during the sexual encounter, according to Theology of the Body?

TOB1 Online + TOB2 in person package.
Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat Info
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

📩 Submit your question here!

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠