Not Too Sensitive - Empowering Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) To Own Their Sensitivity

In this episode, Alissa revists the topic of good girl conditioning and why so many highly sensitive women build an entire identity around being the responsible one, the kind one, the person who never rocks the boat. She looks at what happens when agreeableness stops being a natural expression of your sensitivity and starts becoming a way of abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.
The traits themselves are often innate, but the problem is when they are expressed at the cost of self-abandonment. Alissa names the fear sitting underneath it all: the fear of shining too brightly and being disliked for it.
Through her own story of a work friendship that went cold the moment she got promoted, and the clients she has watched give themselves permission to take up space, she walks through what it looks like to expand your tolerance for discomfort and stop managing everyone else's reaction to you.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why being the responsible, easygoing one can quietly turn into abandoning your own needs
How the fear of shining too brightly keeps so many highly sensitive women playing small
What it means that other people benefit from you never setting a boundary or speaking up
Why stepping out of the good girl identity almost always brings pushback, and how to be okay with that
How to hold the guilt of someone being upset and still trust that you did the right thing
Why giving people the dignity of their own reactions frees you from carrying everyone

Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE
Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa tackles a question she hears constantly. "How do you know if you're actually allowed to be upset, or if you're just being too sensitive?"
If you've ever replayed a conversation for days, questioned your own reaction, or wondered if you made something out of nothing, this one's for you.
Alissa traces that self-doubt back to where it actually started, and what it takes to fully trust yourself even when someone else insists you're overreacting.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why the question "am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset" usually points to a deeper lack of self-trust
Why the people who dismissed your reactions were often responding from their own depletion
What writing out your personal values and boundaries does for you in the middle of a triggering moment
How to recognize when a reaction is bigger than the situation because it's hitting an old wound
Why "cleaning up your side of the street" comes before deciding whether a boundary conversation is necessary

Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE
Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable.
Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern.
Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasing
How to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repair
Why letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat you
How trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the moment
Why pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Alissa gets into why triggers land the way they do and why finding the root cause is the first step toward feeling steady, unshakable, and less at the mercy of what everyone around you is doing.
Most triggers trace back to one of two places, an old wound from the past or an unmet need in the present. Alissa shows how naming that root pulls the charge out of it, so emotional memory stops determining your responses.
Alissa walks through what it actually looks like to clean up your side of the street so you can confidently source your safety from within.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why a reaction that feels disproportionate to the moment is a clue you've been triggered
The two roots of most triggers, an old wound or an unmet need, and how to tell which one is showing up
How pulling the charge out of a past experience lets a familiar situation lose its grip
What "cleaning up your side of the street" looks like before you decide whether a conversation is even needed
Why working through a trigger once makes it quieter every single time it comes back
How sourcing your safety from within frees you from living at the mercy of other people's choices

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this week's episode, Alissa shares a quick hack that quietly rewrites how you see yourself: "I'm the type of person who..."
So often you pin your happiness on the outcome, the finished book, the dream partner, the number of followers. Alissa offers an alternative, letting the process itself become the proof and validation of who you're becoming.
Every time you act like the person you want to be, you teach yourself to expect that version of you to show up (even when you don't feel like it).
In this episode, you'll learn:
How the phrase "I'm the type of person who" shifts your self-concept in real time
Why tying your happiness to the outcome makes the whole journey feel worse
How to turn everyday hard moments into evidence of who you're becoming
What showing up to an almost empty room taught Alissa about building real confidence
How to use this practice with people pleasing, exercise, dating, and creative work
Why falling off track is its own chance to prove the kind of person you are

Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW
Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop!
Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more!
Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa
As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)!
All you have to do is:
Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts
Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com

That's it! 😊
🦋🦋🦋
Follow along on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lifebyalissa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠