Thumb War

Jason and Rachel are back in Westeros for a spoiler-filled recap and review of House of the Dragon Season 3, Episode 1.

The premiere picks up with the Dance of Dragons fully igniting: the Battle of the Gullet, Jace making reckless choices, Rhaenyra being sidelined, Baela and Rhaena facing dragon-sized consequences, Criston Cole seeing the true horror of the war, Aegon and Larys fleeing King’s Landing, and Aemond becoming even more unsettling.

We talk Team Black, Team Green, Winter Wolves, Sheepstealer, Alicent, Daemon, the Hightowers, Targaryen dysfunction, and why this episode’s main lesson is that young people should maybe not be allowed to make war decisions.

Spoilers for House of the Dragon Season 3, Episode 1.
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Spoilers for Disclosure Day.

Jason and Rachel review Disclosure Day, Steven Spielberg’s new alien movie starring Emily Blunt, Josh O’Connor, Colman Domingo, Colin Firth, and Wyatt Russell.

There are things to like here: Emily Blunt is great, Colman Domingo remains a human weighted blanket, and a few sequences feel like vintage Spielberg. But the movie’s big alien reveal, TV station climax, confusing character logic, and “world peace / just listen” ending left us deeply frustrated.

We talk Close Encounters comparisons, little green men, thumb drives, World War III, invisible fire trucks, AI-era skepticism, David Koepp, Spielberg nostalgia, and why Disclosure Day ends up as a disappointed thumbs down.

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Spoilers ahead for Masters of the Universe.

Jason and Rachel review Masters of the Universe, the new He-Man movie from Amazon MGM and Mattel.

Rachel grew up on He-Man, She-Ra, and the whole Masters of the Universe toy-cartoon universe. Jason mostly remembers it as the moment he realized cartoons could just be commercials for toys. So naturally, expectations were complicated.

We get into why the new Masters of the Universe feels like it can’t decide what kind of movie it wants to be, whether He-Man works as modern IP, the strange tone, the comedy that doesn’t always land, the nostalgia callbacks, the “He-Man” name problem, the 1987 Dolph Lundgren version, the She-Ra tease, and why Skeletor is easily the best thing in the movie.

Plus: Jared Leto, Alison Brie, Idris Elba, Battle Cat asking for consent, Ram Man, Fisto, Brian May guitars, toy-commercial cynicism, masculine legacy confusion, and whether hardcore Masters of the Universe fans will have a better time than we did.

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Spoilers for Scary Movie.

Jason and Rachel review Scary Movie, the sixth installment in the franchise and the return of the Wayans Brothers.

The movie brings back Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Ghostface, horror spoof chaos, offensive jokes, stoner comedy, and a whole lot of nostalgia — but did it actually make us laugh?

We talk about the Wayans Brothers returning to the franchise, the Teyana Taylor cold open, the packed-but-quiet theater experience, Scary Movie 3 holding up surprisingly well, The Naked Gun comparison, whether the jokes pull their punches, and why this reboot left us more sad than satisfied.

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Jason and Rachel review The Ugly Stepsister, a Norwegian body horror take on Cinderella now streaming on Hulu.

Told from the perspective of Elvira, the eldest stepsister, the movie turns the familiar fairy tale into a grotesque nightmare about beauty standards, class, desperation, and what women are forced to do to survive in a world built around male approval.

We talk body horror, Brothers Grimm fairy tales, the tapeworm scene, eyelash sewing, foot mutilation, sound design, feminist horror, and why this worked for us way more than The Substance.

Spoilers for The Ugly Stepsister.
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